Page 200 of Gift from the Wing

There have been many times I have asked Elementra similar questions. The answers always come eventually.

“His…it’s a boy.”

“It is.”

She closes her eyes and sighs gently before sobs begin to tear through her body. I let her get it all out as I sit here quietly, being her shoulder to cry on. I knew this would be difficult for her to hear, but it was something I had to tell her.

“Will they ever forgive me, CC?”

“Yes, they will. You will be the apple of your son’s eye and the girl will grow to love, respect, and cherish the pieces of you she gets.”

“Stop referring to my daughteras the girl, CC. I’ve let it slide for hundreds of years now. Her name is Willow. Say it.” She growls at me, and I grit my teeth.

It’s hard for me to say.

Saying it makes what she is to me a reality I’ve yet to accept or tell Iris about it. I don’t know how she will take it. She’s always drawn a hard line with me anytime I’ve tried to bring her up or anything I’ve seen. I know she has seen much of her life as well, but she will not go into detail about her. I don’t know if my truth will help or hurt her. I don’t want to further upset her with what the future holds for her daughter.

Our daughter.

Not born from blood, but from a bond.

“Elementra is blessing us with a Guardria bond.”

The words spew out of my mouth forcefully, and I grunt as Elementra herself doesn’t give me an opinion but to deliver the truth. Regardless of if I was ready or not. I guess this is her way of saying too fucking bad.

“You…you and Willow will have a Guardria bond? How long have you known? How will it manifest?” she asks with wide eyes.

“Iris…”

Gasping, she nearly drops the picture as she turns fully to face me. “Father, daughter. CC, tell me if I’m right.”

Closing my eyes and looking down at my laced fingers that bear white knuckles, I nod once.

“Yes. For the time I have with her, that will be the bond we share. I’ve known for sure for fifty years.”

The silence that stretches between the two of us is heavy. It sullies the atmosphere of this beautiful escape she’s created. My continued secrecy has that effect no matter how I go about it.

It’s out there now, though, and I don’t know what’s running through her mind. Many don’t understand the strength behind a Guardria bond, but Iris is well informed and smart. She knows I won’t be able to reject this entirely and I don’t know if she will accept that I have a relationship that strong with the daughter she won’t get to share any experiences with.

I’ve known for one hundred and eighty-six years, Willow would mean something to me, but it wasn’t confirmed what until fifty years ago. It was the day Iris told me what she planned to name her. That same night, I had my first vision of our awakening.

In the fifty years since, I’ve seen Iris three times. Never once have I brought it up.

The overabundance of joy at the prospect that I will be able to love a child like my own and bless her with the same love Gaster has blessed me with has battled with the deep despair that I feel when I think about how I will also have to give my life for this realm. Another part of me feels like I am somehow stealing Iris’s future and role from her.

“Look at me.”

Blowing out a harsh breath, I turn my head up to do as she asked. I’m prepared for the anger and bitterness. I’ll understand it.

“Love her with your entire being. Make her feel worthy, special, beautiful. Put the broken pieces she’s going to have from her father back together. Show her what a childhood is supposed to look like. What it feels like to be free. Be her father, CC. Filia mea nunc est filia tua”

“What does that mean?” I ask, choking back the emotions clogging my throat.

I didn’t expect tons of weight to lift free from me with her words. I’ve been petrified to tell her this truth and here she is, giving me her blessing.

“My daughter is now your daughter. Call her filia mea as much and as often as you can. Remind her she is loved. She is a blessing.”

Her stern gaze leaves no room for argument and her command, although I know she’s not meaning to, flows across my senses. The shattering in the depths of her silver pools causes mine to water. Not being able to bestow the endearment on her daughter herself is breaking her.

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