Page 9 of Gift from the Nexus

“How dare—”

I cut my rant short when pieces of the puzzle start putting themselves together in my mind. His words from earlier ring loudly, clearly in my ears.

My mark did personally offend him. She ran away from him. She was mated to someone else, then was brought back to him somehow. She didn’t want to be with him. Those men…what if they were her Nexus.

She…

He…he…

Oh God. Oh Elementra.

I’m the product of rape.

He raped her.

I can’t hold back the sorrowful cry that leaves my lips, followed by the sound of my stomach turning completely upside down. There’s nothing in there. It’s empty, hollow, but my body dispels anything that’s willing to come out.

My mind and my heart are a conundrum of feelings. It’s so overwhelming, reminding myself to breathe is almost impossible. At any moment, my lungs are going to pop, and my heart is going to explode inside my chest.

I want to hurt him. I want to rip him limb from limb, then have someone heal him, just so I can do it all over again. I want him crying, pleading, begging for mercy at my feet for the atrocities he’s committed against me and her. I want to kill him.

I also want to weep and mourn. I want to weep for the woman who had to endure Elementra fucking knows what at his hands. I want to mourn the life she could have had, we could have had, if not for him.

We wouldn’t have had anything, though…

The thought causes me to take a deep, tortured breath. If there was no him, there’d be no me. That woman would’ve been free. Free to love, to be loved. She never would’ve had to go through the hell I assume she had to live through.

If she had lived, she never would’ve loved me. How could she possibly?

“Don’t think like that, Willow. She did love you. Unconditionally. I assure you,” CC states firmly.

“How could you remotely know that? You couldn’t. Don’t give me pretty, untruthful words in an attempt to make any of this better.” I cry out in my mind.

I don’t want to be coddled right now. I don’t want empty reassurances that mean absolutely nothing. This truth hurts. Ithurts like a bitch, but nonetheless, it’s the ugly, gut-wrenching truth.

My father, my biological father, is a rapist.

My mother endured his cruelty.

Resulting in me.

And the pattern continues.

“Your feelings are all valid, Willow. You have every right to feel this anger, this rage, this hurt. But you’re wrong about your mother. I don’t have the power to prove to you her feelings, but Elementra does, and one day she will.” CC promises gently, knowing now is not the time to tell me I’m wrong, but they obviously believe I need to hear it.

Sitting in my sorrow for a moment longer, their calm, their love, washes over me. I hold onto their promise like it’s glue holding my sanity together because I don’t know if there’s anything Elementra could say or explain to me to make these feelings any better, but I’ll hold a shred of hope.

“Ahhh, your pain is so much more potent here. I don’t know if your physical or mental anguish taste better.” My fath—Franklin’s cheery voice pierces through my mind, pulling me out of the deep despair I’m feeling, placing me right back into the inferno burning inside me.

“What the hell does that mean?” I snarl.

He shoots me a look of fury at the language I used directed at him, but the menacing glare isn’t what makes me shudder and bite my tongue.

It’s the color of his eyes.

Gone is the lifeless, dull hazel. The gold rings that surround his pupils are bright, stark, almost glowing. They’re so much sharper, like they can see right through me.

Taking in the rest of his pissed off features, the wrinkles on his brow from years of frowning have smoothed out, and thenatural give in his face that comes with age has tightened, like he’s been injected with Botox.

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