Page 53 of Gift from the Nexus

“I need everyone right here to stop with the guilt, the regret, the what-ifs, all of it. It had to happen this way. There’re no ifs, ands, or buts about it. What I had to sacrifice is what I had to sacrifice. End of story,” I declare, banging my fist on the table and standing from Corentin’s lap.

Closing my eyes, taking deep breaths, I try to calm the anger brewing in me. I’m not angry at them, any of them. They all have a right to their own feelings, and I know if the shoe were on any other foot, I’d more than likely feel the same way, but I’m struggling with dissecting my own emotions currently.

I’ve accepted the things I just said, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it in any way, shape, or form. Of all the things I’ve been through, I’ve never lashed out in anger. Never dared to if Iwasn’t prepared for a beating from hell, so I buried it. Now that I don’t have to do that, my feelings are coming out rageful even without my say so. This is the second time I’ve jumped straight to anger in the short amount of time I’ve been awake, and I don’t like it.

I don’t want to take this out on everyone I love.

“You’re hurting, child. Let us help you. We want to help,” Gaster says patiently, laying his warm, weathered hand on mine, and some of the fury instantly leaks out of me.

“I don’t know how.”

“What happened that’s bothering you the most?” he asks softly, tracing his thumb back and forth in a soothing motion across my hand.

“All of it. The whole situation is fucked from beginning to end.”

“Then start from the beginning and go from there,” he instructs gently, sitting back in his chair, looking at me the way only a prideful grandfather can look at his granddaughter, and my words dry up on my tongue.

I don’t want to subject them to this. I don’t want to taint them with everything that happened.

“You already told us the worst. You can say as little or as much as you want, little warrior. They’re—we’re all adults and can handle whatever you want to say.”

“That’s not true. I didn’t tell you all the worst. I told you the worst of the torture, but those wounds heal, Tillman.”

Before my gaze can lock on to his, my Memoria stone pulls me into my own mind unexpectedly. No memory surfaces, CC’s voice is absent, but an extension of information becomes clear. The same instructions I was given the day I told Tillman how to broadcast to all of us at once emerge first, but then carry on.

It’s almost as if the instructions were written just for me because not only do you have to have some sort of mindtransference gift, but you also have to be able to sense magical signatures in order to share the space of your memories with those outside of your Nexus. Since there’s no recorded history of others having multiple gifts, that means Elementra had a hand in informing—I’m assuming CC—that I’d need to know this.

“You have all the answers, don’t you, CC?”

I wait with bated breath, hoping for a response, but one doesn’t come a minute later and disappointment floods me. They haven’t spoken to me since my men and the E.F. army arrived, and I don’t understand why.

The only thing I understand currently is I have the answer of how to tell, better yet, show everyone everything that happened. And apparently that’s what I’m supposed to do, or that information wouldn’t have surfaced right at this moment.

Do I really want to do that?

“I discovered a lot of things in the short amount of time I was taken. A lot about myself, what the Mastery is doing, partially what they’re planning, and so on. But in between the bits of information I gathered, horrible, terrible things happened. I…I don’t know if I can just come out and say everything, so I’m willing to just show you, but I don’t have a way of showing you all just those pieces of information. If you want to see, you have to see it all, and it’s not pretty,” I say quietly, looking mostly at Gaster and Oakly.

“What are you talking about, Primary?” Caspian asks coldly, concern lacing the deadly tone.

“I…I know how to broadcast everything that happened. From beginning to end.”

“Show me,” he demands, pushing up from his seat, stalking toward me purposefully.

“Hold on, Caspian,” Corentin orders. “Are you sure you want to do that, princess? You’re okay and comfortable with everyone here seeing and hearing everything you saw and heard?”

Turning to Oakly’s Nexus, San, Nikoli, Jamie, and Ry all give me confident, steady, determined nods. The four of them are as close to brothers as I’ll ever get, and they won’t judge me for anything they see. Plus, I’d never put Oakly in a situation to keep something of this magnitude to herself. They’re a package deal with her, just like my men are to me.

“Oakly?” I ask.

“I want to see. I need to see, so I know how to protect you better and keep you out of shit like this,” she says lightly, but I see the fear surrounding her.

“Okay then. Out on the lawn. I need to ground myself.”

Pushing up from his chair, Tillman wraps his arms around me, and my men surround us while Gaster, Oakly, and the guys make their way to the back lawn where I pointed off to.

“Little wanderer, are you sure about this? It’s all still fresh. Maybe give yourself some time before confronting it all again.” Draken pleads as his eyes flash between him and his dragon.

“I’m sure. You don’t have to watch, Draken. It’s okay,” I say softly, gently cupping his cheek in my hand.

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