Page 36 of Gift from the Nexus

No, no. I’m not going into a coma.

Days? Weeks? I barely survived hours.

I just got back to them.

I have so much to tell them.

What if I don’t wake up?

“Calm down, little warrior. You don’t have to go into a coma, it’s okay,” Tillman whispers, pulling me closer, hearing the panic coursing through me.

“What’s option two?” I ask nervously.

“You’ll need to slowly be fed healing vials, spend time with the elements and your Nexus. It’ll be a much slower process than being healed all at once like you’re used too, but once you build a little of your power back up, I can heal you in sessions until you’re back to normal.”

“Okay, okay, that doesn’t sound so bad, but is there…” I trail off, swallowing harshly because I know what I want to ask him is going to upset the guys. “Is there anything you can do for the pain?”

They all do a wonderful job hiding their emotions from their faces and they don’t react outwardly, but I think sometimes they forget I can feel everything they feel. At once, all their anger, their guilt, regret, relief, everything they’re feeling hits me square in the chest and I suck in sharply from the onslaught.

“Can you guys back off her just a second? Your bonds are messing with what she’s actually feeling right now,” Jamie scolds lightly and like a tap was cut off, the flow of their emotions seizes immediately, and they all whip their heads to me to check me over.

“I can take your pain away, but remember, it’s like a bandage. You’re going to feel better because the pain is blocked out, but it’s not real healing.”

“I understand. Will you just take the pain away from the worst of it until we go home?”

“Of course,” he says softly, then releases his magic again.

I sigh in relief when the first area his magic washes over is the handprint on my chest. Slowly, the sting dissipates, and if I let my mind convince me otherwise, I could pretend it’s not even there. Next, he moves to my wrist, then my hip, then my thighs. With each painful point being blocked, I do already feel better, stronger, but like he said, I know it’s just a blanket for what’s been done.

Gulping, he asks, “Any…anywhere else?”

“Please no.”

I hear Draken’s mournful mental whisper and I glance over at him. Tears of rage and sadness well in his eyes, and he’s standing tensely still. It’s then I notice they all are, waiting dreadfully for me to answer.

“No, no. They…No, it’s okay,” I mumble through my closed throat.

My heart cracks open when Jamie gives me a relieved nod and steps away from me. They each visibly relax a little and knowing that they’ve been fearing the worst causes guilt to nearly turn my stomach inside out.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

“Sorry? What are you sorry for?” Corentin asks, strained.

His tone, like an arrow, pierces my chest. His face is a blank mask, more closed off than the day I arrived, and I want—no, need so badly for him to show me some sort of emotion, affection. He hasn’t looked me in the eye, there’s no tipping of my chin, and he’s put the most physical distance between us out of all four of them. He’s so upset with me, and I feel it keenly.

“This is all my fault.”

His body visibly shudders, and without a word, he turns on his heel and walks away, yelling for the palace team to comewith him. I take a step toward him, but Tillman grips me gently around the waist, stopping me.

“Give him just a minute, Will. He’s not upset with you. He’s been blaming himself for all this. You just rocked his world saying you believe it’s all your fault. Neither of you is to blame for any of it, and you both need to understand that.”

“Why would he blame himself?”

“He needs to explain that to you.”

Knowing Corentin, whatever it is he’s blaming himself for is a deeply rooted, misguided belief. I have a feeling it stems from his need to claim everyone as his responsibility, when really, there’s so much out of his hands, my hands, that he can’t do this to himself when something happens. Things are going to happen that we don’t want to.

“Drink,” Caspian demands, holding a healing vial in front of my face, dragging my attention away from his brother’s retreating back.

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