Page 29 of The Spice Play

My pulse thundered in my ears, my head, my throat, and he shifted his hand, his thumb taking over beneath my chin to keep my head up, his fingers splaying out across the side of my neck and taking up residence beneath my ear. His breathing was even and measured, too quiet as if they were shallow, but I couldseehis chest rising and falling, his shoulders shifting as he kept himself in place.

“I have a problem with fighting the urge to touch you every time I see you.”

As if chains had come unshackled and the world had finally started moving again, I regained an ounce of control.

I only wished it hadn’t shifted fromfreezetoflight.

There weren’t words, only actions — I took a step back, out of his hold, out of his scent, out of his warmth. Despite the strength he could have easily used, he let me go, locked in position as his eyes followed me.

Shakily, I pulled the glass door open.

He didn’t say a word.

Slipping from the house like a gazelle just narrowly outrunning a lion, I shut it behind me and walked back to the guesthouse in a blur, not even bothering to say goodnight to Carl the House Goalie.

Chapter 14

Sebastian

I’d lost count of how many times I’d hit the boards today, but the final one, spurred on by yet another clash with Bryan Addaway, had resulted in explosive pain from my bad knee after I’d failed to catch myself after the collision. The knee guards hadn’t been enough to mitigate the pain, and Coach had sent me off to the onsite nurse, who had sent me off to the team’s massage therapist.

I bit down on my knuckles as Aubrey worked at the muscle and sinew beneath the ragged scar I’d obtained almost twelve years ago.

“Does that hurt?” she asked, pushing in on a particularly tender spot as she looked across the massage table at me.

It didn’t bother me that I was half naked in front of her, laid out in my boxers and undershirt with half of my equipment still strapped to my body. Butthat, the poking at that specific spot, bothered me so badly that I nearly kicked her in retaliation. “Yes,” I gasped. “Fuck,ouch, yes, stop.”

“Sorry, sorry,” she mumbled. Her thumb dug in beside it, working the muscle there instead, but her face said shewasn’t getting anywhere with it. Her dark brown hair, straight as an arrow and braided behind her, fell over one shoulder as she pushed a little harder. “I need to work that spot. Can you try to talk through it to distract yourself? Or I can find you something to bite down on…”

I gripped the edge of the cushioned table. “Just work on it.”

“Are you sure?” Bright brown eyes batted in my direction, the worry on her face clashing horribly with the calm, serene music she had playing on a little speaker in the corner of the room.

I nodded once, and she started to get to work.

It felt like my fucking leg was being sawn off. “Fuck,” I bit out, desperately trying to keep myself from moving as she dragged the scar tissue around with oiled, deep brown fingers. “Okay, okay, shit — I need to talk.”

“Go for it, Seb.”

The first thing that came to mind was the only thing that had been on my mind fordays— and weeks before that. I could keep it vague, surely, and just get shit off my chest. “I met someone,” I bit out, gasping as she pushed down even harder across a tendon, and the need for anonymity slipped. “And I can’t stop thinking about it, but they’re working for the team, and it’s, ah,fuck, unprofessional on a million different levels.”

Her hands stilled as she looked at me, her brows knitting uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”

I leveled a glare at her. “You can’t just push down on painful spots to get me to talk and thenstop, Aubrey. You’re extending my torture.”

“Right, but…” Her eyes scanned across my body and settled on my knee, at her hand that rested on it.

I didn’t understand her hesitation to work on me, notwhen my knee was still screaming in pain and the constant onslaught of replays from the conversation I’d had with Nelly three nights ago was still running over and over in my mind. She’d avoided me like the plague since, keeping every forced interaction short and sweet and fake in front of Matty. I’d given her the day off last minute in the hopes that she’d use it to calm down from whatever panic I’d instilled in her, and Dani had been more than happy to handle drop off and pick up for Matty, but I had a sinking feeling that I’d crossed a line I shouldn’t have and fucked over the one thing I needed more than anything — childcare.

“Maybe I should get Zoe to do this instead,” Aubrey mumbled, staring down at my kneecap as her dark skin turned ashen.

Oh, fuck.“No—no,” I insisted, shoving myself upright on shaky hands. Zoe would make this ten times worse — she was our younger masseuse, freshly hired, and dear God, I didn’t want to freak her out with this, too. “It’s not you. Or Zoe. I’m sorry, I should have been more clear.”

She sat back in her wheeled stool with a sigh of relief. “Fuck, you freaked me out there,” she laughed, getting her hands back into position. “Sorry, you saidworking for the team,and I panicked.”

“No, no,I’msorry. It’s not any of the women here.”

Her fingers dug in again, one dark brown eyebrow raising at me, and oh my fuckingGod, I needed to lay back down, needed to shove my knuckles back between my teeth.

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