Page 103 of Lost Girl

And now it's too late.

I’ve made my bed and now I have to lie in it. Alone, in the cold, heart shattering as the loss of my wolf sinks its claws into my soul.

My wolf.

?Here Without You - 3 Doors Down?

The ocean is calm today, so are the skies.

A stark contrast to the devastating sense of turmoil riling inside of me. Since shifting yesterday morning after completely losing my shit on Soren, I haven't shifted back, and I don't want to. I feel less this way. Don't misunderstand me, the gaping hole in my chest is still there, but it's easier to ignore when I'm in my wolf form.

"There you are." My sister’s voice rings out behind me.

I’d say I’m irritated that she’s found me, but it’s not like I’m actively hiding. I’ve been laying in the same spot all day, right at the cliff’s edge.

Moments later, she’s at my side, swinging her legs over the ledge. Her gentle touch meets my head, smoothing down the ebony fur.

Hey, Lil.

"I've been looking for you everywhere." I was expecting more of a chastising tone for my disappearing act, but that’s the last thing I hear. The most prominent? Sympathy, and I fucking hate it.

Sorry,I deadpan.

Her strokes continue, fingers sifting through the thickest part of my coat. "I know it's stupid to ask if you're okay, but..."

Please don't. I really don't want to talk about it.

"You have to at some point, Tav. It's unhealthy to keep all of that bottled up. I don’t want you to end up like Pa was all those years ago."

It's better than the alternative.The alternative being me going on a rampage.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

Sorry for what?

"That you're having to go through this. I feel so stupid for believing her, for truly thinking she was sincere when she told me she wanted to stay."

She was, but it looks like fear finally got her and she couldn't turn it off. She took the tea last night, Lil, I watched her down it. Whatever that nightmare was about, it was powerful enough to still claw its way into her mind.

“That’s not an excuse, Tav. She flat-out told me she had nothing back there, that she loved it here. She hadyou—she’shadyou since day one.”

Doesn’t make me enough. Besides, she may be right for all we know. What if her going home is the remedy?

“I doubt that, highly so, but whatever. All I know is, I could kill her for doing this to you. I warned her,” she growls, the bubbling of her blood unmistakable.

Don’t start with that crap. No one is killing her. I freed her from that cell, remember? She was free to leave whenever she wanted.

“She was also free to not fuck with you in the process. She’s self—”

Enough, Lil. Just drop it,I warn.

“But—”

Just drop it!My entire body tenses beside her around my order, shooting her hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay, fine. Jesus Christ, Tavi, I’m just saying.”

I don’t respond to that. I have nothing to say in regards to it because what was about to come out of her mouth is utter bullshit. Wendy isn’t selfish. I don’t care what anyone says.

---