Page 35 of Hear Me Roar

Scrambling toward the stove, she jammed the spoon in the pan and stirred our dinner around vigorously, a small cloud of smoke flying overhead. The sizzle filled the air with the delicious smell of homemade Chinese food, one my girl has mastered the craftof.

“Is there enough for Luis and Reyna too?” I asked, walking the short distance to the cabinet housing our ceramicplates.

“There’s enough to feed the entire second floor, although you and Luis eat like fucking savages, so I’m not sure how much will be left for Maya, Rey, andmyself.”

“And Liv, don’t forgetLiv.”

At that, Hazel gasped in surprise. “She’s bringingher?”

I nodded with a grin. “Yep. Be nice, will ya? I don’t want you scaring this girl off with your possessive BFFshit.”

“I’m not gonna scare her off. If anything, I’m glad she’s finally bringing her around. Lord knows she was mortified the night she cameout.”

Just then, a burst of fireworks erupted from somewhere outside our building. They’d been popping off every now and then, but this seemed to be the real deal. Wouldn’t be too much longer until our friendsshowed-

Ding,dong!

And there they were...right on time, foronce.

Two weeks later,we arrived in Seattle for what would be my second fight of the season. And when I say we, I don’t mean just Knox and me. I mean MannyandMaya, too. I’d told her she was more than welcome to kick it at home since the trip was only a three-day affair, but she insisted on coming along. Even Karley had offered her spare bedroom while we were gone, but again, Maya declined. And who was I to tell her no? It’s not like we didn’t have the space in our suite. If she felt safer coming with us, then so be it. But that’s what worried me...she felt safer withus, not Manny. She’d yet to open up to him. The poor man had been coming over every day, in hopes to show her he was far friendlier than he appeared and to instill some type of trust in her, but she just wasn’t having it. I could understand that she was weary after all she’d been through with her husband, and I’m sure Manny’s intimidating build wasn’t helping either, but something had to give. She’d asked for protection in the event of a worse-case scenario, and Manny was it. I had hope, though, that traveling together would somehow break down her shell, even if it was only a little bit. Baby steps,right?

As for me, Maya had surprisingly opened up a lot. It took some time and we still had a long ways to go; but, after a few days, she didn’t seemasreserved when in my presence, which had been a big concern, given her resistance to Manny. I made sure to steer clear of any Dimitri conversations and tried to keep things as light as possible. I hadn’t broached the Bernie topic either because I wasn’t sure what type of wounds that may open. For the most part, it was nice to have someone around at times when I typically would’ve been alone. Don’t get me wrong, I probably enjoyed my alone time way more than the average person, but sometimes I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself, especially on days when I knew Knox would be working late. She was way easier to get along with than I’d imagined, and although I’d initially thought she was nothing like Bernie personality-wise, she actually was. The witty remarks that would leave her mouth at the most random of times reminded me so much of him, as did the way she smiled, or the simple way she’d used her hands to express herself when she talked. My heart both swelled and broke a little every time. Having Maya here was like having a piece of Bernie in the flesh, and while I knew she could never replace who he was for me, it was nice to feel that familial sense of comfort again, even if it was in a differentway.

Reyna and Luis had also taken an instant liking to Maya when they met her on the Fourth. Not surprising, really. Those two liked everyone. I think it’s because they were able to empathize with her on another level. As kids, they’d witnessed their dad relentlessly beat their mom, so they knew what it was like to be vulnerable and afraid at the hand of a manic beast. Luis joked their father was the reason why Rey had gone gay, but none of us found it funny, Maya included. I almost slapped him, considering Liv was there, but my man had thatcovered.

Speaking of my man… Ever since Maya’s arrival, he’d been...quiet. He didn’t really interact with her too much either, which resulted in an crapload of tension when the three of us were in a room alone. I’d asked him why a few times and he simply shrugged it off without further explanation. For some inexplicable reason, I felt like there was something he wasn’t telling me and I couldn’t figure out what the hell it was. Of course, my mind went off to places like, had Brie continued texting him? Had he answered? Were they seeing each other when he was supposed to be “working?” Those questions hit me over the head at least once daily, but I stuffed them away before they had the opportunity to fester. I didn’t want to be one of those crazy, insecure girlfriends, especially when Knox had never been anything but honest withme.

So, with all that being said, imagine the amount of tension in the SUV as Manny drove us from Seatac International to The Grand Hyatt. Knox sat up front with him while I lounged in the back with Maya, watching each of them carefully. Manny was focused on the road, though, every so often, him and Knox would mumble something I couldn’t make out over the music. Knox was constantly checking his email in hopes to find something from Amari’s PA since the interview had gone so well. And Maya, well, she was quiet as a mouse, her nose stuck deep in some smutastic novel Karley lent her. It’d been like this at every point through the trip...and I didn’t like it. Why did it feel like we were playing some unspoken game of boys versus girls? The boys were buddy-buddy and I was stuck withour guestbecause she didn’t trust the one person who could keep her safe at best, and my boyfriend was acting far more reserved than was the norm for him. Okay, so stuck was a harsh word, considering Maya had grown on me quickly, but it just felt like she was solely my responsibility. Not quite fair to me, if you add in the fact we were herebecauseof me. I had a fight tomorrow night. How was I ever going to concentrate in that cage if I was worrying about these three gettingalong?

I really didn’t think it could get any worse. But it did, obviously, and it happened veryquickly.

So quickly that when Manny pulled up right in front of the Hyatt’s entrance and I hopped out onto the sidewalk, I hadn’t been expecting the rush of emotions that came when I craned my head back to observe the building. The last time I’d been here – correction – the last timewehad been here was The Finals. A good memory to some degree, but also one that involved Jason.This was the hotel he’d drugged us at. This was the hotel where he and Lexi left me in the bathroom, and kidnapped the man I hadn’t realized I was in love with yet. I’d woken up with a pounding head, taken in my surroundings, and was hit with the reality that Knox was in life-threatening danger when he was nowhere to be found in our suite. That memory was one of the many I wished I coulderase.

“Never heard from him again.” Manny’s voice was beside me suddenly, as though he’d been reading mymind.

I turned my head to regard him and nodded because he was right. After Manny left us here that night, he went back to the warehouse to take care of Jason, and we never heard from him again. ThankGod.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to anything like that this time.” That was Knox, the man as in tune as ever, even when I couldn’t read himright.

Manny hummed and then the two disappeared to the back of the Tahoe to handle the luggage. That’s when Maya came to stand beside me, her small hand wrapping around myarm.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, and again I just nodded because what was I supposed to tellher?

Her eyebrows quirked ever so slightly, as though she didn’t think there weren’t any truth to my words, but she didn’t press me. Instead, she stole a peek at the building herself and I wondered if being in the city made her think of New York. I could’ve asked, but I didn’t, and she didn’t tell either, so we left it atthat.

If only it were so easy to leaveeverythingbehind.

The unease that had quickly flourished didn’t lessen any as we checked-in, made our way up to the twentieth floor, and dispersed to our rooms. Something suddenly felt uncertain. I don’t think it was so much being here that had me on edge, but more of what Knox had said. I couldn’t fathom having to relive something like that again. I’d had enough fear and sorrow throughout the years to last alifetime.

No more,please.

“What are you gonna do now?” Knox questioned from the en suitebathroom.

“I don’t know, probably make sure Maya is settled.Why?”

“After that, wanna go down to thebeach?”

“The beach?” I could not have sounded more confused. “Why?”

---