Page 54 of Hear Me Roar

I nodded. “A replay of what happened just hours before I calledyou.”

“Oh, M.” She wrapped me in a tight hug and pushed away the hair clinging to my damp face. “You’re safe, you’re okay. He can’t get to youhere.”

I wanted to believe her, really, I did. But it wasn’t possible. Tears spilled over my cheeks as realization kicked in, causing fear to take hold of my sanity. I shook my head vigorously and tried my hardest to keep my voice even as I delivered the warning they needed tohear…

“For now, but not for long. He’s coming, Hazel, I know he is. And he’ll stop at nothing to get tome…”

Another loss.Another fucking loss.Another fucking disastrous loss because, not only did Rita Somers kick my ass round after round inmyhome arena, she knocked me right out in the middle of round five. According to Knox, I was out for almost a whole minute, but I wished I had stayed out longer, to spare myself from having to watch yet another opponent deemed the winner. Winded, exhausted, and in pain, I kept my head low as the ref brought us to our feet and liftedherarm, in time with the announcer declaring her the winner and the crowd going wild with her name on theirlips.

Buuurn.

Iknow.

But I wasn’t a sore loser, so when the ref released me from his grasp, I turned toward a beaming Rita, shook her hand, and called it a good match. Then I made my way back to the locker room with a silent coach on my tail, whose lecture I was already dreading. Storming in through the door, I stripped in entirety on my way to the shower, too furious with myself to even begin to explain what happened in that cage before I had the chance to cool off. The water was ice cold when I stepped in and shut the curtain, but I couldn't care less about the temperature. I was more focused on the blood swirling down the drain, a reminder that although I may have once been Queen of the ring, I would never be her again, at least not with the pros. Was I washed up? Had my ring time expired? Was I supposed to just put down the gloves and quit trying?It’s only been two fights, Hazel,you say? I knew that, but I was one loss away from hitting a losing streak. I'dneverhad a losing streak with TheUnderground.

“Baby?” Knox’s voice echoed suddenly and I cringed because I knew he was, without a doubt, disappointed. I could see it written all over his face since I’d cometo.

“Not now, please,” I saidsoftly.

“I'm not mad…” He paused. “I'm worried aboutyou.”

“Whyme?”

“Because the world is upside down right now and I can't just make it goaway.”

His words really hit me. Our worldwascompletely on its axis and there was no instantfix.

“I’ll be fine,” I murmured, stepping directly under the spray as the water warmedup.

Nothing followed that but silence. Knox left, and I couldn’t blame him. After all, I’d told him I’d be fine, right? Then again, he knew when to push, and now was obviously not one of those times. I just needed a few minutes alone to let it all sink in, and then I’d be ready to adultagain.

When I emerged with my towel wrapped around my body, Reyna was sitting on the bench beside my bag. She looked at me with a forlorn expression and I hated it. I didn't want anyone feeling bad for me. Yes, losing sucked but I could takeit.

“Knox sent me,” she said by way of explanation, shrugging hershoulders.

“Yeah, well, you can stop looking at me like that,” I snapped unintentionally, to which I quickly followed up with, “I'm fine, Ipromise.”

“Not, you'renot.”

“Iam.”

“You'renot.”

“Yes, I am,” I argued as I came up beside her to grab myclothes.

“No, you’re not, Hazel, but I'm not going to press you now either,” she countered, catching me by the arm. “You don't wanna talk about it? Fine. When you're ready, you know where to findme.”

Hallelujah.

I nodded, my expression softening, grateful that those so closely around me could handle me even in my worst moments. They accepted the way I handled my shit and they didn’t fight me. And I did the same for them. We all cope with negatives in a certain way, but it’s not our job to tell them how to doit.

Slipping into a pair of gray sweatpants and a dark form-fitting tank, behind the lockers, I tossed my towel onto the bench beside Rey and pulled my comb out, walking to the nearby mirror to untangle my hair and assess the damage Rita had done. I knew a portion of my face was puffy cause I felt it, but until now, I hadn't seen it as awhole.

And when I finally did, I was startled. My reflection wasn't very pretty. She got me good, each wound symmetrically aligned with the one beneath, all of them on the right side of my face. My brow was split, the area beneath my eye was both swollen and a mean purple. She’d clipped my nose too, but thankfully it wasn't broken and the bleeding had receded during my shower. That's not all, though. She'd also knocked my lower lip into the teeth, leaving anothersplit.

Basically, I was a hotmess.

“Put anything on those?” Reynaasked.

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