Page 34 of I Am Lioness

Apparently Bernie’s condition was stable but foregoing the surgery did not look promising. With that being said, Bernie was in no state to make decisions for himself and although I wasn't his spouse or next of kin, the Doctor was requesting my consent before proceeding given the fact I listed under his insurance. I agreed, obviously, not knowing what else to do. It’s not like I could call his wife and ask for her opinion. She’d passed many years ago from cancer and their daughter, well, she was a lost cause. If the Doctor thought this would increase his chances of living, then I trusted him to know what was best.

Another nail biting hour ticked by and finally I’d had enough. I couldn't sit there in the silence anymore, couldn't sit still not knowing what was going to happen to my old man, if he was going to pull through or if life was once again going to be cruel and rip him away from me.

One of my worst fears was unfolding right before my eyes and once again, there was nothing I could do about it.

“I need air,” I said to Manny, feeling like I couldn't breathe as the worst outcome possible viciously attacked my mind.

Shooting up to my feet, I bolted out the large sliding doors into the muggy Austin night. I took a deep breath, willing myself to get out of my head and hold it together, but I just couldn't.

Why me?

Why me?

“Why me?” I choked out.

There was no thought process behind pulling out my phone and dialing Knox’s number. It was reflexive now. He’d grown to be my comfort zone and although he was hundreds of miles away, I knew the sound of his voice would soothe me, even if it were only temporary.

The line rang and rang, each ring drawing out my desperation further to the point I was shivering despite the warm summer air.

Pick up, pick up, please!

As if on cue with my internal plea I heard, “Baby, I was just...”

“Knox!” I wailed, tears spilling over my cheeks anew.

“Hazel, what’s wrong?” His question was loaded with concern.

“It's Bernie, he's in the hospital! He went into cardiac arrest when we got back to the suite and they have him in surgery!” A guttural sob escaped me and I dropped down to my knees on the sidewalk.

“Baby, I-I, I'm sorry. Don't cry, please. Tell me how I can help?”

I shook my head regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see me. There wasn't anything he could do. All we could do was hope Bernie was strong enough to pull through.

“I just wish you were here.” I whispered through the tears, wrapping an arm around myself for support.

The line was drowned in silence for several minutes. All I could hear was the occasional hiccups as my breathing eventually began to even out. I thought I may have lost service but when I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen, the call was still connected.

“Knox?” I said, wiping away the wetness that clung to my cheeks.

“I'll be there tomorrow.”

I gasped, not at all expecting him to saythat.

“You can’t do that, Knox. You have clients scheduled every day this week.”

“I can and I am. I have two clients tomorrow who can definitely be rescheduled for some time next week and the rest can be sorted when I get there.” He said with finality.

I shook my head again. “But…”

“But nothing. I'm coming. You said you wanted me there and not only do I want to see you, I also want to be there for you in any way I can.”

“Thank you.” I offered quietly, too astonished by his generosity and kindness to say anything else.

“Don't thank me. I was planning to surprise you and come spend a few days with you in the next few weeks anyway.”

“You and surprises.” I chuckled softly, rising to my feet.

“You love them.”

---