Page 32 of I Am Lioness

Tears well in my eyes and spill over in heavy droplets as a tremor wracks through my body. Dozens of questions flock to the tip of my tongue but the despaired sound of Beth’s wails clogs my throat and I lose it.

Thoughts of Tori and her whereabouts flood my mind at once. Just knowing there’s a possibility she could be in life-threatening danger pains me in ways I’ve never felt before.

My heart constricts tightly as though sharp knife has impaled me and I want to scream. I do scream. Gutturally, loudly, savagely. I expect my parents to burst through the door at any moment but then I’m no longer alone in the darkness of my bedroom.

I’m sitting in a brightly lit waiting area at the hospital. I look around the room, confused, and something on my right snaps my head in that direction. The Whitlocks are rushing toward me. Beth is crying and Eric appears overly distraught. When Beth sinks to her knees in front of me and throws herself into my lap, I'm all but slapped in the face with a clusterfuck of memories, and suddenly, I remember everything.

Tori is dead.

She has been for a year.

And now my parents are too…

Iwoke with a start, disoriented, my breathing ragged and a heavy sheen of sweat sticking to my skin. My heart was hammering wildly.

Again? What the hell?

Nightmares that had dissipated sometime while I was dating Zeke were suddenly resurfacing with a vengeance since regaling Knox with the tale of my past prior to Bernie.

Thankfully they weren’t a nightly occurrence as they once were but at least three times a week they woke me without mercy.

Throwing off the comforter, I shuffled out of bed and padded into the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I flipped on the light and shuddered. The mirror was not my friend these days. My reflection unsettling to say the least.

The dark circles under my eyes grew more prominent by the day as a result of staying up for hours after the nightmares attacked. I clenched my eyes tightly and drenched my face once more, turning off the faucet with a heavy hand.

I willed myself to relax, to think about what made me happy, rather than dwell on the images still flashing through my mind. When my breathing returned to its normal state, I dried the cool droplets off my face and scurried back to bed, wrapping myself in the plushy hotel comforter.

As predicted, any hope of falling back asleep was way out of reach. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and clicked on the screen. There was an unread text from Knox that came in just before midnight.

You must have passed out early.I missed hearing your voicetonight. Sweet dreams.

We’ll talk tomorrow.

I smiled but quickly it morphed into a frown when I realized I had indeed missed Knox’s phone call. I couldn’t remember when I fell asleep. Actually, I couldn’t remember much of anything following my shower.

It had been that way since the nightmares started up again a month ago back in Phoenix. Some nights Knox and I spoke for hours and others I was out prior to his call. I loathed those nights. They ruined my morning and threw off my day which in turn made Bernie difficult to deal with.

In a short amount of time, I’d become dependent on hearing from Knox on a daily basis. Whether it was five minutes or an hour, I craved the sound of his voice, his laughter, the peace he brought to my soul.

A month had passed since we last saw each other and I was growing anxious. Unfortunately it would be quite a while before we’d get the opportunity to do so again… Unless of course I could convince him otherwise.

Austin wasthe halfway mark of the season and with the finals quickly approaching, the fighters became more aggressive and the fights more brutal. I could take it though. I always did. As long as I had Bernie in my corner, I knew I could conquer anything, anyone.Even Lexi.

Hell, especially Lexi.

Speaking of my rival… She’d been incognito after one of the newbies knocked her out at the start of the season, only making appearances during fight nights or for random interviews with different magazines, and because of that, Bernie had been pushing my limits to an extreme.

He was certain she had something up her sleeve and taking precautions rather than being unprepared was our best bet to success. Was it exhausting, yes? But it felt damn good.

All the anxiety brought on by the nightmares and the pent up energy from itching to see Knox washed away with every hit to bag, every kick to the mitts.

Bernie and I waltzed into his suite mid-Lexi discussion after a long day of training when he said, “It’s just unusual. We’ve seen every other fighter on the League minus Panterra.”

I kicked off my sneakers by the door and sauntered into the room, dropping down onto the couch in a heap. “I agree, but there’s no sense in dwelling on it. Maybe she finally realized she’s never getting that title back.”

“Maybe.” He sank into one of the seats beside the table. “Her most recent interview tells me otherwise.”

“Let her talk her shit, Bern. She should know by now that she’ll always be number two as long as I’m around.”

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