Page 105 of Manny

“What the fuck?” Bandit echoes.

“That night you both told me those stories about your pasts, I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to have an intimate part of me, too, but I couldn’t find the words.” I close my eyes, trying not to think back about that night, but I have to let it out. “You probably heard that Riot killed our dad?”

“I’d heard something,” Manny says, though I know he’s just trying to be kind.

“Whispers,” Bandit agrees.

I nod. “What you don’t know is that I swore Riot to never tell anyone what really happened that night.” I take another deep breath. “Our father was an abusive drunk, and he was usingdrugs when he could find the money. He treated our mom like shit, but we were just little kids.” Tears leak from my eyes.

Manny pecks me on the forehead. “Go on, we’re here for you, Lacey.”

They don’t rush to fill the silence, letting me take my time. “I had no clue they’d even been arguing, I had my headphones on and I was reading in the hammock out back. Then I heard the shot; he… he turned the gun on our mom and killed her, then he came after me. I didn’t even get one foot out of the hammock when he shot me.”

Bandit’s arms wrap around me as he pulls me to his chest. Manny presses up to my front, cupping my face.

“I’m so sorry,” Bandit whispers.

“There are no words,” Manny agrees. “But you’re a fighter, Lacey. You have that fighting spirit inside you that I saw from day one, which is why I think I was so drawn to you.”

I close my eyes, reveling in their warmth. “I’ve never felt this way before,” I admit. “And I’m scared.”

“Why?” Bandit presses a kiss to the back of my head.

“Because I’m falling for both of you.” The words come out, and my voice breaks. “I don’t want this to end, not right now, anyway, and I know I shouldn’t even be saying this because it’s just sex and I shouldn’t have all these feelings for both of you, but I do and I’m rambling…”

“It isn’t just sex,” Manny says quickly. “While I’m enjoying both of you immensely, I think we all know that there are feelings going on here.”

Bandit grips me harder. “I stopped having sex a few months back because it felt so meaningless. Obviously, I’m no stranger to relationships; I wanted to be married with a family. But when my life fell apart, I stopped feeling anything, except for Eli. Until recently.”

“Until us?” I prompt.

“Yes, until you.” I turn and his eyes are so sincere. He flashes a look to Manny. “Both of you. This should just be about sex and having fun with no strings attached, but I’d be lyin’ if I said that’s what I wanted, and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Manny, for once, is the only one lost for words. When I glance up, his eyes find mine. His eyes glaze over. “I think we’ve all had shitty pasts and bad things happen to us,” he says. “Maybe that’s why fate brought us together. Sometimes when I think about that time, when I was at home, I want to crawl out of my own skin. I want that bastard dead.”

Manny told us he got away as soon as he was old enough, but that doesn’t account for the years of pain he went through. “Did you ever want to confront him again?” I whisper. “To get closure?”

Manny shakes his head. “I punched him in the face when I left home. Trust me, if I’d known what he did to his daughter back then, I probably would be in jail right now. I’ve thought about going back. It sickens me he’s just walking around a free man while others still suffer. My stepsister didn’t press charges. I’m not close with her, but I’ve reached out over the years, I think she just wanted to do away with anything in her past that reminded her of him. For that, I don’t blame her.”

“Life is so hard,” Bandit says, his tone far away. “So fuckin’ hard.”

“Do you miss her?” I whisper to Bandit. “What was she like?”

A long silence passes. “I miss her every day. I was closed off for the first five years of Eli’s life. Nothin’ mattered except me and him. It was us against the world, and that’s how I liked it. I never slept with a woman for years. I was hurt. Angry. I didn’t understand, then the guilt set in because I’ve always been…”

I turn in his arms, pecking his lips gently. “It’s okay, this is a safe place.”

“Nothing leaves this room,” Manny agrees. “Ever.”

Bandit swallows hard. “I’ve always been this way. Bisexual. I’ve never acted on it, and I thought it was just a phase; that I was curious, sure, but I didn’t want to explore it. That’s what I told myself. But as I got older, I knew that there was a part of me missing because I wanted that connection with a woman again, and a man. I just didn’t wanna go and fuck some random dude and have a horrible experience. I wanted more.”

Warmth spreads through me, hearing his words. The hurt comes like it always does, but the comfort smooths it all away. I feel whole when I’m with these men. “I wanted more, too,” I say. “Despite the fact my brother would tell you I’m a virgin waiting for marriage, I haven’t always been a good girl. In the past, I used sex as a way to cope with the pain of losing my mom, and the memory of my dad pointing that gun at me. I wanted to be loved and I thought sex was the answer, but it was always so hollow. I wanted so much more. I wanted… this. I just had no idea it would be with two men.”

Manny leans to kiss my nose. “You’re fucking amazing,Chantilly.We’re complicated, I’ll admit that, but this can work if we want it to.”

We both know that it’s Bandit that will be the one to run away and hide out of the three of us. I’m surprised he’s still lying here, but then again, maybe I’ve not given him enough credit for how strong he really is.

“I don’t know how,” Bandit says, his voice soft. “Eli for one. I don’t want him knowin’ about this until he’s older. It’s not something he should be understandin’ at his age. And then there’s the club…”

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