Page 111 of Manny

“With us,” I say. “You know she has a big heart, that she cares about both of us, and she’s admitted to having feelings.”

“I didn’t expect this.” He palms the back of his neck. “I didn’t expect feelings.”

I cock a brow. “Really? You admitted there was chemistry with all of us.”

He lowers his voice. “And there is, but this is new for me, Manny. You gotta understand that I’ve got a son to think of.”

My face softens. His son is the apple of his eye and it’s another thing I respect about him, especially after hearing his story. “I get it, which is why I told Lace you just need time, but like I said, she’s already growing feelings.”

“And I’m not?”

I don’t want to start a fight, but seeing Lace earlier had me reeling. She was clearly upset about something, and this can’t behelping. “I don’t know, and I wouldn’t give a shit if you were just playin’ around, but with Lace, it’s different.”

He steps toward me. “And it’s okay to mess with your heart?”

I swallow hard, meeting his intense gaze. “Didn’t say that, but I’ve been around the block a time or two. I don’t think I’m even capable of…”

“Of what?”

I swallow hard. I shrug. It’s always an easy way to avoid talking, not that I’m very good at keeping my big ol’ mouth shut, apparently.

“Of a relationship… of falling in love… but this feels different.”

“Because itisdifferent, Emmanuel.”God, I love it when he calls me that.“But maybe we’re confusing how good all of this is with too many feelings. We barely know one another. Let’s just take a step back.”

“I see. Run away the second it starts to get heavy.” I shake my head. “Typical.”

“I thought of all people you would understand.” Bandit balks. “I thought you’d be the first one to be on my side.”

I frown. “I am on your side! I’m over here rootin’ for you like I’m a goddamn cheerleader, and you know why that is,Jonah?Because I give a shit. I care, and I think you do, too. If this is just fucking, then you can walk away anytime, no hard feelings, right?”

He jabs me in the chest. “I don’t wanna do that.”

“Right, and you don’t want either of us with anyone else, so it kinda sounds like you’re getting the best of both worlds. Zero commitment and maximum enjoyment.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Really? Then why is Lace walking around with a frown all over her pretty face? The one thing I told myself when I escaped from my hometown is I’d never ever make anyone feel likeshit. I’d always be grateful, kind, no matter what I was going through. I’d try to be compassionate even if I felt I wasn’t in the wrong, and to see her walking around like the world is on her shoulders.” I shake my head. It’s not right.

“So that’s my fault?” He jabs himself in the chest. Goddamn heathen. “I thought we were gettin’ to know each other, havin’ some fun. Since when did this become about commitment and fallin’ in love just because we fucked a couple of times?” He waves his fingers around. “You don’t even know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Really? How would you know? You can’t even express how you feel about bein’ with another man, let alone think about actually bein’ the kind of man Lace needs.”

“Lower your voice.”

“There’s no one here, and in any case, I don’t give a shit. It’s my kitchen, I can say what I want.”

He steps closer, closing the gap. “I know because I was in love once.” His eyes are fierce, but I see the warning there;stop pushing.“I opened my heart and soul and look where that got me.”

“You tried for something. That’s all that means.”

“Says you who wouldn’t know what it feels like to have the love of your life ripped away from you, to live with that guilt for the rest of your life.”

My mouth opens and closes. He has me there. “You’re right, I’ve never experienced that feeling before, or thought that I was even capable of falling in love like that,” I admit. “Until recently, and I don’t give a shit how heavy that sounds, life’s too short to go around not saying what you really think. I’ve been doing that for a really long time and it’s fucking boring.”

“You done?”

“No.”

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