Page 61 of Gunner

“Fuck,” Ronan bellows. “Fuck, Diletta. Christ.” His hand pounds the wall above mine and then he’s coming, jacking into me and driving himself home so hard that I nearly bend under the forward momentum.

It’s hard to breathe. My skin is soaked again. If any of that rain dried or steamed right off of me, I’m soaked with my own sweat again. Ronan is sticky at my back, holding me so tight that for once, I’m truly not sure where I end, and he begins.

As reason and clarity start to come back, panic claws at me, cutting off my airway and tipping my stomach into a nauseating spin.

We had condoms. We didn’t use one.

This might have been heat of the moment, middle of the night, crazy good sex, but that is no excuse for losing my mind and not being responsible. When the rain lets up tomorrow, we’llbe driving through Seattle. I could stop and get a Plan B pill somewhere. I’ve never in my life been reckless like this.

This can’t happen again. Condoms suck, but if I don’t want to use them, I need to get on something and get on it fast.

I might not get wild, chased through the woods and rain sex every night, but sex with Ronan is explosive and perfect and I’m going to crave him every bit as much as he craves me.

He pulls out and gently picks me up for the millionth time today. I don’t ask where we’re going. I already know he’s going to take me to the shower and be a perfect gentleman cleaning me up. He’ll probably soap my hair again and spend a good long time brushing out the tangles with the comb he brought in his shaving kit. At least he had the foresight to bring it. If we didn’t have some kind of brush here, by the time the weekend is done, I might be rocking a shaved bald head too.

He starts the shower, waits a long time for the water to get warm with the on demand water system in here, then steps in together.

I’m right about the soaping. The first thing he does is reach for the shampoo. He takes his time with me, getting every inch of me clean, then working out the tangles in my hair, before he carries me back to the bedroom.

I never knew I was a cuddler until this man came along with his overbearing presence, his protective aura, his huge body with the world’s most welcoming arms. Wrapped around me, it’s like at last, I’ve found my shelter. I needed to leave Italy in order to come home. Ronan chases away the worries and stills the endless loop of my thoughts. Most of the world is afraid of this man, but it’s been years since I’ve known safety and goodness like this.

Chapter 18

Diletta

No one tells you that after a hard rain in the woods, the mosquitoes come out with the first rays of dawn with a ferocity. Maybe everyone tells you that. I’ve never known anyone who had a cabin in the woods here.

I have my leather jacket and jeans on from yesterday, so there’s not much skin for them to chew, but they buzz around my head annoyingly.

Even with the way I have to keep shooing them off, swatting a few that try to chew on my cheeks and forehead or my neck and even my earlobe, it’s too gorgeous a morning not to be out.

Despite my lack of sleep and the activities I engaged in during the very early morning, I woke up as the first rays of sun streamed through the bedroom.

I blinked into it, the whole world washed clean and glistening, everything an exaggerated green so bright it burned the eyes, the sky a thousand shades of pink and purple. I’d dressed, made myself a cup of coffee, and came out here to think.

The mosquitoes were too ferocious to just sit on the porch, so I found myself walking across the grass, heading towards the woods, walking with no destination in mind except to explore and appreciate the wonder of this place.

It’s incredible out here. Peaceful. It’s hard for people like me and Ronan to even think that word, let alone say it. Our worlds were built on violence. My father tried to shelter me, but there was no one to take care of Ronan. No one to shield him protect him, or even do the basics like feed and clothe him. He took care of that himself. He never had a family. Did he ever have a moment like this one now, out in the clear, fresh air where he felt this calmness?

I tasted the rain and the wind on his skin last night, the sun and the mountain air yesterday afternoon. I want peace in our lives wherever we go. I need to believe that’s possible, even if I know that out there, back in the world, it’s far more complicated.

Screw complicated. I’ll do anything to make this work.

Starting with finding something in the cabin to throw together for the gourmet breakfast that Ronan deserves.

I love feeding him. I adore watching his eyes close in pleasure and that first flicker of surprise. I want to find out what else makes him happy and do that for him. I want to give him the world.

I’m so up in my head and in my dreams, my hope a buffer against the potential dangers out beyond the clearing, that I don’t have my guard up. I fail to see the shadows emerging from the woods until it’s too late.

One grabs me from behind, steel arms locking around my chest. I’m fast with my elbows, getting them up, ready to struggle and fight, but he’s faster. Before I can even scream, he slams a massive, gloved palm over my mouth. I sink my teeth into it on instinct, but the thick leather is hard to bite through. He only lets out a muffled curse. A second shadow, then a third, looms over me. They make quick work of the gag and getting myarms bound with something soft. It feels like cotton and doesn’t bite into my skin the way rough ropes would.

Even though I’m gagged, the big bastard who never fully let go of me, gets his leather palm over my mouth. He has to be twice my size.

Tears sting my eyes at my own stupidity. I refused to listen to Ronan. I kept telling him nothing would happen to us. I was living in a dream world.

Terror claws my insides, creating a horrible panic that crawls up my throat, choking me. I can’t breathe through my mouth, so I suck air in through my nostrils so rapidly it’s like breathing flames. I’d shoot them if I could. Incinerate this bastard. At least the first time someone kidnapped me, I could say I put up a fight. This? This is pathetic. It makes me realize just how weak and powerless I am. That’s not the worst of it. The first time, I was scared for myself.

The beast behind me drags me to the edge of the woods. The thick forest swallows us up effortlessly within a few seconds. I can’t berate myself for not having seen this danger coming. I should have been more careful. I gave these men an easy target, but I couldn’t have known they were there.

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