I tap the folder against my leg. “This is going to be shredded immediately. No one else will see it, not even your brother. He gave it to me without looking at it. I’m going to talk to Lark. Warn her to be nice.”
“Please don’t.”
“I will. I’m going to. Right now.”
It takes a minute, but an unexpected smile, shy and slight, plays over her lips. “Thank you.”
Her smile hits me like a bolt of lightning, energy shooting straight to my cock. I shove the file in front of me and leave before she can notice.
I want to tell her that it’s her smile, her grace, her intelligence, and kindness that make her beautiful. I want to say that I’ve never met anyone like her before. I want to say that even though shit is burning all around us, I want to put real effort into making this alright. Her. Me. Us. It shouldn’t exist, but against everything, I want it to. I want to make it clear that I understand how much I hurt her by not trusting her and assuming her capable of the worst. I’ve run it over and over in my head since it happened, and I’ve been shocked at the level of hurt that’s shimmered under my own skin.
I leave the words unsaid.
Maybe they’re better that way.
Certainly, they’re less dangerous.
Chapter 13
Ella
Ienvisioned horrors like the spa or getting my hair blown out, but when Lark asked me to go to the range with her for a few hours because she wants to learn how to shoot, I reluctantly agreed. I might have given into my childish desire to tell her to fucking stick her fake sugary niceness up her petite ass if Raiden and I hadn’t talked. As it was, she hit me right in the soft spot. Even angry, I’m never likely to turn down a chance to shoot.
It might make me sound slightly unhinged, butthisis my happy place.
It’s even happier for me because I’ve had the whole area and more than a few targets to myself while Bullet has been working with Lark on her stance and aim, showing her how to use and shoot several guns. He’s even gone so far as to demonstrate proper dismantling and cleaning.
I think he might be worried about us being here together, since there’s still more than a little noticeable tension.
Even I can only hold out so long before I approach Lark and remove my hearing protection and eyewear.
Bullet takes that as a silent cue to go stand a few feet away to give us some time to talk.
Lark seems grateful for the break. She sets the Glock down with the safety on and rolls her stiff shoulders back. She shakes out her arms and cracks her knuckles.
“I can see how Gray thinks it’s necessary to learn this, but I can’t say I’ve ever thought it was fun.” She arches one fine brow at me. “You’ve clearly been doing it for a while. You’re good.”
“Since I was a kid. My mom liked going to the range. She’d take me along.”
She looks less horrified at that than I would have expected. “Raiden once surprised me by bringing me here. I had Penny with me, and I was so scandalized that he’d suggest she was okay here, but he ended up taking her for ice cream and to the library.”
An unexpected warmth unfurls in my chest. I haven’t had an opportunity to really see Raiden with his niece, but I’d like to. Probably more than I should. I’m not even sure I want kids of my own, trending to I don’t, but honestly, who doesn’t get soft seeing a man who loves them and is great with them?
“That’s…” For all my education, for all the words I’ve read and the languages I speak, sometimes it’s hard to even find more than a single one.
Lark shades her eyes and looks up at the sun overhead. “I’m- uh- I just wanted to say that I- I’m sorry that I’ve given you a hard time.” Her soft brown eyes sweep to me. There’s nothing but warmth in them. The outright suspicion and flickering hatred are gone. “I was just trying to protect my brother. He might be older and tougher, but I know he’s having a hard time since he got out of prison. I wasn’t here to look after him. He didn’t let me visit him for all those years. We were so close before, despite our age difference. Everything kind of fell apart and I’m still trying to put it back together.”
I didn’t think anyone had noticed what Raiden was going through, but that was a stupid thing to think. Lark wouldn’t putit out there for all the club to pick apart and she sure as fuck wouldn’t come to me with her concern.
“I’ve noticed that he wasn’t sleeping. I can’t imagine what else is going on for him. I might not be a psychologist, but I do know about conditioning and PTSD. I don’t know what he saw, but he almost lost his life in there. That system isn’t meant to heal people. It’s meant to cage them and break them. Five years is a long time.”
The deep concern and love for her brother is so stark and apparent that it’s like getting drenched in cold water.
“I understand your hostility and your doubt. I know you’re just trying to protect your own.” I give her a slanted smile. “You’re going to make a good queen. You might not look fierce, but looks are often deceptive.”
She gets what I’m trying to say. “They can be. Just like situations. I’ll try to do better. Not just because Raiden asked me to either.”
Fuck. He really did do that. I can’t pretend I’m not embarrassed about it. I’m used to looking after myself. I didn’t want my dad fixing my problems for me, getting twisted vengeance. It might have been satisfying for a second, but base violence isn’t right. Two wrongs only make a fucking mess. Being a big person doesn’t mean taking shit. I just wanted to deal with what happened to me in a different way.