Page 71 of Coerced Queen

My cheeks heat a little at the mention of our debauched sex.“She’ll be hungry.”

“I’ll bring her to you when you’re done.I’m sure she’ll be patient for a few minutes while I soothe her.”

I want to ask what happened, but I’m scared I’ll shatter the fragile moment.

Saverio takes his cane from the sofa and goes to the door.When he passes me, the soft light from the desk lamp washes over his profile.From this side, he looks exactly like he did before the attack.His striking features are breathtaking in their symmetrical beauty.

Yet that’s not what makes him so attractive to me.What makes him perfect is his loyalty and his fierce protectiveness, his determination and his inexhaustible inner strength.

By handing over that evidence, I demonstrated that I’m fully embracing my new life, that I’m loyal to Saverio out of my own free will because I love him more than life itself.But he’s also making non-verbal statements, and actions speak louder than words.

“You do care,” I say to his back, my voice soft.“You just refuse to admit it to yourself.”

He pauses without looking back.“Don’t mistake care for love, Anya.They’re not the same.”

“I’m not.I know how hard going to Claire is for you.You have to make yourself vulnerable to do so.If you didn’t careenough, you wouldn’t do this.”

He turns, facing me squarely.“Everything I do and everything I’ve done are for selfish reasons.If I’m watching out for you or taking care of you, it’s because I like the way you make me feel.You have an effect on me no other woman has.You make my cock hard every time I look at you, even when I’ve just come the hardest in my life and it should be physically impossible.So when I tell you that I’m doing it for me, I’m not lying.”

His words hurt, slicing right through me like he almost did with the blade of his knife.Yet that’s not the truth I see when I look at his actions.That’s not the hope I hold on to when I close my eyes at night and shed lonely tears with him right beside me in bed.

Swallowing back those tears that burn at the back of my eyes, I lift my chin.“You’re wrong.A man who does everything with his own self-interest in mind won’t give his life to save me and my baby.”

The statement pierces him like a sword.I see it in the way he winces as he’s forced to face the simplest of truths when all his arguments are exhausted and only his considerate behavior is left to speak for itself.

We face each other like pieces on a chess board.It’s a checkmate move.It’s playing dirty.I admit that.Pushing him into a corner to confess something I desperately need to hear isn’t honorable.But I don’t know how else to open his eyes to something he won’t allow himself to believe.Maybe he thinks it will be a betrayal of his love for Rachele.But people can love more than one person.They can get hurt and trampled and find happiness again.He lost his first love, but he’smyfirst love.If he gives us a chance, we can be so much more than lust and sex.

He turns away with that wounded look on his face, running away from the future we could’ve had.And I’m still thoroughly and utterly ruined, a silly, opportunistic woman who put her heart on the line in a gamble she lost.

ChapterTwenty-Three

Saverio

Cradling Claire’s little body against my chest is one of the most profoundly beautiful moments of my life.She still raises hell with those small lungs, crying until her face goes red, but I’m determined to get this right, to do this right, because Anya did something for me.She took an incredible risk.So I want to do this for her.And because of her bravery, there may just be a future for us.Although, after that stunt, I still want to lock her up forever and keep her here where she’s safe.

“Hush, angel.”I rock Claire in my arms.“It’s all right.I’m not going to let anything happen to you.Be a sweet girl for a few more minutes, and I promise, your tummy will be full.”

“She just needs to get used to you,” Livy says behind me.

I turn to find her standing in the door frame of the nursery, wrapped up in a fluffy yellow terrycloth bathrobe with a matching turban on her head.Banana charms hang from her ears, and her feet are shoved into canary-yellow kitty-heel slippers with feather trimmings.

Claire continues to cry, but when I cup her head and let her soak up the warmth of my chest, the sorrowful bawling turns to sad sniffles, and I’ll be damned if her tears don’t break my heart.

“Anya is having a shower,” I say.“She should be done any minute.”

Livy studies me with intelligent, blue eyes.“The more time you spend with Claire, the better it will get.She can’t see very well yet, but to her, you smell and sound different from the people she knows.She needs to learn you’re one of her clan.”She adds with meaning, “It’s important.It’ll help her feel secure in her family circle.”

“Got it.”I inhale Claire’s baby scent, reveling in the miracle of the small person I hold in my arms.“I’ll try to do better.”

“Good.”Livy nods with approval.“I knew you’d come around.Anya is a great mother, but Claire will do so much better if she has a father she can depend on too, a father who loves her as much as you do already.”

I give her a half smile.“You’re a great aunt or grandmother or whatever title you prefer.”

“I’ll do anything for that little girl.”

I look down, stroking my palm over her soft, strawberry-blond hair.“So will I.”

“Then make sure she knows that.”

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