Page 119 of Coerced Queen

Determination gives me strength.I flush the toilet and push to my feet.Saverio takes my hand to help me.I walk on autopilot to the basin and rinse my mouth.

Saverio squirts toothpaste onto my toothbrush and hands it to me.“Brush your teeth, my love.You’ll feel better.”

A memory of him doing that for me when I was sick during my pregnancy with Claire jumps to mind.Tears burn at the back of my eyes.The breakdown lingers behind the pressure building there.It will only take one tear to unleash the torrent.

Saverio presses a gentle kiss on my neck.“Be strong.There will be time for that later.”

For crying.To fall apart.

He’s right.I straighten my spine and grip the edge of the basin for balance.I think I may fall over if I don’t hold on to something.

My tone is hard and unforgiving because there’s no forgiving this.Ever.“How did my mom get in?”

His expression darkens.“That’s what I’m going to find out.I’m about to interrogate the guards.Will you be all right?”

“Yes,” I whisper.“Go.”When he doesn’t budge, I say, “Do what you must.I’ll be fine.”

He hovers for another second, but then he turns around and leaves.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, not recognizing the haunted woman in front of me.The urge to scream at the injustice is enormous.My worry is a cancer that eats me alive.Is Claire frightened?Is she crying?Is she hungry?Cold?My mom never cared if I was hungry, cold, or scared.She’s not going to soothe my baby.The thought torments me with a pain much worse than a physical blow.I’d rather take a forked spike through my stomach than stand here and not know if my baby is all right.

Why did my mom take her?For ransom?Where did she take her?My mom couldn’t have gotten far, but every second we waste is a second my baby is taken farther away from us.I won’t allow that.I can’t.

I look down at my hand in which I still clutch the toothbrush.Mechanically, I brush my teeth.I don’t bother with rinsing the toothpaste from my mouth.I drop the toothbrush in the basin and walk to the safe in the dressing room.

“Anya,” Livy says, coming up behind me just as I open the safe and take out my gun.

I check that it’s loaded.

“What are you doing?”Livy exclaims.

I get to my feet and grab the first coat my hand falls on.“I’m going to look for my mom.”

She raises her palms in a gesture meant to stop me.“Saverio is handling it.”

“I’m not going to sit around and wait for someone to do something.”I push my arms into the sleeves.“Claire is my responsibility.I’m going to get her back.”

Nicole enters as I grab my bag with my car keys from the vanity.

“Jesus,” she says, laying a hand on her forehead.“What are you doing with that gun?”

“Go get Sav or Dante,” Livy says in an urgent tone.

Nicole darts from the room.

I drop the gun in my bag and throw the strap over my shoulder.When I get to the door, Dante blocks my way.Nicole stands behind him, wringing her hands.

“Step aside,” I say through gritted teeth.

He stands like a wall of concrete in front of me.“Where are you going?”

I ball my hands into fists.“To look for my baby.”

He crosses his arms.“Do you even know where to start?What’s your plan?Driving up and down the streets alone in the dark with Raphael out there somewhere?”

I push him.Hard.“I can’t just sit here and do nothing.”

He doesn’t move an inch.“Sav got the license plate of the car your mother left in.Every one of our informants in and off the force is on the lookout for that car.We’re pulling the street cameras via our contact as we speak.It’s a matter of minutes before we know where she is.”

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