Page 78 of Bleeding Blackheart

I glance at the pile of pumps and sandals he has yet to touch. “They’re gorgeous shoes. Whoever finds them will be very fortunate.” One of my favorite things to do before all of this happened was go thrifting. I loved finding unique and vintage goods that no one else had and wondering how the pieces ended up where they did.

Gunner picks up an unworn pair of silver stilettos. “Do you want them?”

I look at the shoes, bewildered. They’re beautiful. I’d love to have the sandals, but I don’t think I have the right to. “They’re gorgeous. But no, thank you.”

He sets them down on the dresser in the room. “Why not?”

Damn. I really want those shoes. “Because they were hers. It just doesn’t seem right. Someone else can have them.”

He bends down, scooping up shoes from the pile and putting them on the bed next to me. “I’m not offering you just that pair, Montana. I want you to have all of them.”

All of them?My eyes roam over the gorgeous options, trying to take everything in. When a few of the brands catch my eyes, I realize this pile is worth thousands of dollars. “I can’t, Gunner. I want to, but I can’t.”

He picks up the silver pumps on the dresser, bringing them up to my bare feet. “Montana, Margaret’s shoes meant more to her than anything in this world. So much so that I couldn’t let them burn in a house fire. She would hate it if these were dumped in some consignment store to not be cared for and bought by random people who won’t treasure them.

“You’ll take care of them. Please. Have them. I know you want them. She hasn’t worn ninety percent of these. And they’d look so damn sexy on you.”

I give him my feet, allowing him to slide the sandals on and latch the buckles around my ankles. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Is this not going to trigger you?”

Gunner lifts one of my legs, inspecting the shoe on me with a pleased look. “Yes, I’m okay with this. And no, I’m not triggered. I’d be triggered if you make me drop these off somewhere. They’re mine to do what I want with, Montana. Well, they were mine. Now they’re yours.”

I’m overwhelmed looking at all of the pumps beside me, feeling out of place and honored to be in possession of things that were so important to Gunner’s first love. He’s right. I will take care of these shoes. These are more special to me than anything else I’ve had before.

“I wish I could’ve met Margaret.” It feels so silly to say, but I can tell she was so special to so many people, and she sounds exactly like the kind of girl I’d be friends with.

Gunner’s shoulders drop, and he glances at the shoes. “I wish you could’ve met her too. I see so much of her in you, Montana. You two are so different but so alike too. I hope that’s okay for me to say.”

To be compared to someone who he was in love with, to be told I’m like her and he sees her in me is very bizarre,but surprisingly flattering. “It’s okay. However you feel is okay. Feelings aren’t always right and wrong. Sometimes they just are.”

He stands up and runs a hand through my hair. “I don’t know where the hell you came from, but I’m glad you ended up here.”

I cover his hand with mine, feeling happier than I’ve been in a long time.

He starts picking up shoes, getting ready to take them upstairs. “Go ahead and get your overnight bag packed.”

I stand up in my heels, feeling like a beauty queen. I almost forgot we’re leaving for Seattle first thing in the morning, We’re only staying the night, but I’ll be able to get my things and close out my lease.

I’m finally getting a fresh start. After months of looking over my shoulder, running, hiding, and panicking, I’m finally getting a fresh start.

I wake up before Gunner at six a.m. to feed Violet. Usually he wakes up before me and is inside me by the time I open my eyes, but I want some time with my girl before we leave her to go on our trip.

I ease out of bed slowly, not wanting to wake him. I’ve been able to catch up on sleep a bit, but I still feel like he’s running off fumes. And he told me one of his favorite things to do is sleep in until noon on Sunday morning. He won’t be able to do that since he’ll need to be up by eight, but I can at least let him sleep a little longer.

My life feels like it’s finally starting to rebuild itself. Gunner got some of my clothes out of the trunk yesterday, and I nearly cry when I put on my favorite pair of black skinny jeans. It’s almost September and it’s a little chillier in the mornings, so I slide into my black slouchy sweater I haven’t worn since last fall over my pink T-shirt bra.

Though my pants have pockets, they’re small and barely hold shit, so I tuck my phone into my bra before heading outside. Gunner told me I always have to have it on me, and although I’m only going to the stables, I don’t want to upset him by breaking his rules.

I head to the bathroom to wash my face and apply some moisturizer. It’s been so long since I’ve worn makeup. I want to get some, but I don’t want to at the same time since Gunner’s never seen me with it. I grab two scrunchies, putting my hair in two buns, and once I’m ready to go, I grab my black boots and sneak out of the house quietly. Gunner would be pissed if he knew I was outside without him right now, but I know he’ll be happy once he realizesI’ve already taken care of Violet and he can just get dressed and go. Dallas has kept up with taking care of the rest of the animals, so Gunner’s workload has remained light.

The leaves on the trees outside are starting to turn red and brown, and I can’t wait until they fall. Fall has always been my favorite season, and it feels like the perfect time to start something new.

Most of the grass is lush and healthy below my feet, but when I get to the center of the ranch, it’s dead and dirty, tarnished by the blood that was shed here by Mason. Even though I’ve been across this field since everything happened, I’m still devastated that the sweet animals I was introduced to so recently are gone and that I’ll never get to see or touch them again. That Gunner will never get to spend time with them again. My mind immediately goes to Skye, and I can’t stop thinking about how happy Gunner would be if she was back with him.

I go to our little storage room and grab a banana for Violet before getting her food. Gunner doesn’t want her having treats every day, but I know she didn’t get any from him before I showed up, so we have to make up for lost time.

Violet hears me before she sees me, and I hear her stir with excitement. She’s so loving and gentle. Knowing that she’s survived so much heartache makesme feel so much admiration toward her. She’s so strong and resilient. I just want to keep making her happy and forget about all of the trauma she’s been through.

“Hey, pretty girl,” I coo to her softly when I step into her stall. She tries to push her head against me in an effort to hug, and I wrap my arms around her, rubbing her neck with her muzzle over my shoulder.

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