Page 41 of Bleeding Blackheart

I release my dick and pull her cheeks apart so I can get a better look at the blood running out of her. “I would never regret anything I do with you, Montana.”

I can’t help myself. I have to feel her. To taste her. I slide one of my fingers into her pussy slowly, leaking when I feel her wet warmth. “Jesus.”

She whimpers when I sink two fingers in. “Oh my God, Gunner.”

I slap her ass again with my unoccupied hand. “God can’t save you from me, little fox.”

Her legs shake while I move my hand inside her, and I pull my blood-soaked fingers out, shoving them in my mouth. I’ve never felt so barbaric and primal. And I’ve never felt more like myself than I do right now.

My fawn’s hazel eyes meet mine when she cranes her neck, and when I pull my fingers out of my mouth, she gasps. “That was blood, you know.”

I flip her over on her back with her arms pinned underneath her. “My blood. This pussy is mine now, Montana. Whatever goes in it or comes out is mine too.”

I spread her legs, holding them open while I stand between them. I wrap one of my hands around her neck while I nuzzle my face in her soft hair, and she whispers my name like a prayer while I drag my nose down her body. I grip her hips, not caring about anything else in the world while I position myself at her entrance, just an inch of space between us.

But when I look into her glazed eyes, I remember she had a drink tonight. It was just one, but still. When I claim Montana for the first time, I want her to be sober. I want her to give me permission.

I pull away reluctantly, hoisting my pants up. Her face drops, and she looks more deflated than a kid being told Santa isn’t real. I pull up her panties and help her sit up while I remove her cuffs.

I see the hurt all over her face, and I sit beside her on the bed, pressing my forehead against her cheek. “I want you. I do. I want you sober, Montana.”

She nods her head and smiles unconvincingly. “Alright.”

My guilt builds while I hide my lie. I can’t have sex with Montana tonight because I do want to wait until shes sober. But there’s more to it than that. I can’t have sex with Montana tonight because I know it’ll make me like her more than I already do. And I already like her too much. And liking Montana more than I do already makes me feel like I’m betraying the girl I promised to love forever. The one who I gave my heart to. The one who’s never coming back.

I lie in bed at war with my emotions while I wait for Montana to get out of the shower and come to bed. I shouldn’t sleep next to her again, but I can’t help it. I like feeling her body beside mine. I like hearing her breathewhile she dreams and being beside her to protect her from her nightmares. And my favorite thing is looking into her eyes when she first wakes up before she gets all sassy.

The water in the bathroom shuts off, and I know she’ll be out soon. I get my alarm set to ensure I wake up early tomorrow, and when I put my phone down, she comes out of the bathroom in just her towel.

I watch her while she takes it off and gets dressed. She’s built like a goddess. I feel like an idiot for turning her down, and my dick is furious with me, but in my heart, I know I’m doing the right thing. And I hope my little fox won’t hate me for it.

Montana comes over to her side of our bed wearing a baby pink satin gown with some black satin cap on her head. She looks like a babydoll just like she did the first time she slept in my bed. When she crawls in beside me, she smells like my soap, and I don’t stop myself from sliding closer to her with her back to me.

She’s definitely mad at me. I don’t even get a second glance or a goodnight before her lamp’s out. I cut mine out too, and I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Her body feels so good against mine. I press my lips to her neck, giving her a soft kiss above her collarbone. “Don’t go to bed angry with me, Montana.”

She starts to soften and lets out a breath. “I’m not angry with you, Gunner. I’m embarrassed.”

“What the hell are you embarrassed about?”

She takes nearly a minute to answer me. “You’ve turned me down twice. Once was one thing, but twice is just awkward at this point. I’m not angry though. I swear.”

I pull her body, turning her around until she’s facing me in the dark and place my hand on her hip. “I have not turned you down twice, Montana. I’ve—” Shit. I’ve turned the girl down twice. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. This is about me, Montana. Not you.”

She moves my hand off her body gingerly. “It’s alright. You don’t need to pacify me.” Her voice lowers as if she’s scared for me to hear what she says next. “I know your heart is still with her. It’s okay.”

If I had a dollar for every time Montana brought up Margaret I could buy myself dinner. Except her mentioning her doesn’t piss me off like it did at first. And yes, Margaret has everything to do with this, but not in the way she thinks. I haven’t desired any woman in this way since Margaret passed, and it’s a strange feeling to start over with someone new.

Knowing she needs reassurance, I place my hand on her soft cheek, rubbing it with my thumb while I bare myself to her. “My heart is not still with her, Montana. My heartis with me right now in my chest. But I did love Margaret. More than anything in this world. She’s the only woman I’ve ever had sex with, Montana. And I’m in a very strange place because as much as I miss her and wish she was still alive, I can’t deny how much I want you. How I’ve wanted you more than any woman before.”

She gasps. “Gunner, don’t—”

“Don’t tell me to stop, Montana.” My voice shakes, but I ignore it. “And I can’t touch you tonight because I can’t get her out of my mind. I can’t stop thinking about how she’d feel if she saw me moving on. And I want to move on, Montana.”

She sniffles, and I wipe her face. “I know you may not believe me right now, but I’m desperate for you, Montana. To touch you. To kiss you. To sink myself inside your beautiful body while you moan all night long. I want that so badly that my bones ache, Montana. But I can’t do it tonight.”

Montana doesn’t say another word, but I don’t want her to. I just pull her to my chest, tucking her head under my chin while I rub her back until I fall asleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night to Montana shaking beside me. Her little hair hat has disappeared, and I don’t know where it could’ve gone. I sit up, panicked, already knowing what’s about to occur. I thought she might’ve been past this as it didn’t happen last night, but she’s back in whatever nightmare she has that won’t let her go.

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