Page 60 of The Southern Thirst Trap

Paloma’s wide smile and sweeping of her hair off her shoulder is a harold of the story we’re about to hear. “Well, I didn't want to upstage your reunion story, which I felt was far more pressing, but yes, I did indeed get myself a new Latin lover. Javi knows his way around South of the border.” She gives us a smug smile that has Callie and I erupting into screams that do draw the attention of other café patrons now. We all start laughing, then huddle close over the table to hear all about her evening in detail.

“Mama, when is Zan Man coming over again? He said he’d build tracks with me but it’s been forever. Can you call him? You know how, right? You can make a play date?”

I kneel down and look at Hendricks as I take his coat and backpack when we get into the house after school. “You really liked him, didn’t you, my love?”

“Yeah, he was fun. Don’t tell Knox, but I think Zan Man is cooler. He knew how an engine works and made the best towers.”

I laugh and ruffle his dark curls. “Your secret is safe with me. I’ll ask him to come play with you. I would like Zander to come over more often, too. He’s very special to me. I like him a lot. Would that be okay with you?”

Hendricks raises his beautiful gray eyes to me and smiles. “Zan Man has eyes like me. We match. That’s why you like him.”

I blink back the sudden sting of tears and cup his precious little cheek. I wonder at his smart little brain that catches so much for someone so young. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“You’re right. You do match. You have his eyes, and you’re also super smart, just like him. That’s because Zander is your father.”

Hendricks dances in place, growing restless with the conversation. “He can stay here with us if he wants. And if we have a sleepover, you can make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast and he won’t want to leave. Then he can be my daddy and tell me if he has powers, like Miss Sharon and Miss Stephanie said.”

I laugh and grab Hendricks into my arms, kissing his soft golden cheeks one after the other, until he is giggling. I love his easy acceptance of something I’ve agonized over his whole life. For Hendricks, it’s simple. He’s more interested in knowing if Zander is a superhero, and doesn't quite understand what it means to have a father. We’ll get there.

“Zander doesn’t have any special powers, but you sure do. You make me happier than anyone and give the best Hulk hugs. Ready for one?”

Hendricks opens his arms wide and growls before capturing me in a tight embrace. Then he’s wriggling to get out of my arms and heads for the living room and his toys. I stand and put his things away before heading into the kitchen, where I start dinner prep. I’m going all out with a lasagna recipe I’ve perfected, and I’m making a homemade sauce, so it’s going to take a while.

thirty-five

Zander

WalkinguptoHarlowe’sdoor tonight feels like I’m beginning again. Not just walking away from who I was in the past, but piling up all the shitty pieces—the fuckboy who slips into DMs, the guy who was afraid of attachments, the douche who didn't do repeats, the hothead who wants to blame others, the man who would rather break the heart of the woman he loves than change his life for her—and setting them all on fire so I can never become that person again.

Each step toward her house feels lighter as I let them go and look forward to the man I want to be. A man of my word. A man who shows up, who sticks around, who has some fucking integrity and knows what’s important in this world. I know, now. God, I fucking know.

I set my bag down and ring the bell, shifting the bouquet in my hands as I wait for the door to open. It’s about time I do this the right way. Noyou upcalls or texts in the middle of the night. No showing up and expecting to be let in with selfish intent. I’m bringing the fucking romance, because that is what my little Wildcat deserves. The best of me, and the best in this life.

“Hi, sorry I’m a mess. I’ve been cooking for hours,” Harlowe says, opening the door. “Oh!” She covers her mouth when she sees the giant bouquet of tropical flowers.

I made sure it was full of flowers we saw in the Maldives; orchids, plumerias, birds of paradise, and more I can't even name. They’re pretty, but she puts them all to shame with how fucking gorgeous she is. Her cheeks are flushed, caramel skin glowing. Her dark hair is wavy and loose around her shoulders and I want to thread my fingers into the soft locks right at the nape of her neck and pull it tight as I drive my cock deep inside of her and fill her with my cum, making more of our pretty little babies.

“Hey, Lowe,” my voice is a low purr that pours in from the dark. “You look amazing. These are for you.” I hold out the flowers.

She takes them as she steps back from the door and lets me in, shaking her head and smiling radiantly. “Flowers and compliments? What is this, a date?”

I pick up my bag and follow her in, shutting the door behind me. “Fuck yes, it is. I’m going to date you every chance I get. Each day I get with you is going to be special. I squandered the last five years I could’ve had you in my arms. There’s no way in hell I’m wasting another one thinking it’s ordinary if I get to have you in it.”

“Language,” she admonishes quietly, nodding her head toward the living room. “We have little ears listening, and he’s a sponge that happens to like repeating what he hears.”

She leads us toward the kitchen, and I feel like an asshole. Of course, the first thing I do is wrong. I look into the living room as we pass and see Hendricks on the floor in the middle of a pile of Legos and toys, thankfully absorbed in his creations and oblivious to us.

“I’m already messing up this father thing. I’m sorry, Lowe.” I keep my voice quiet but I can't keep the note of panic from creeping into it. I can close multi-million-dollar deals, speak to international business associates with authority, and schmooze literal kings and heads of state with ease, but I don't know what to do with a four-year-old kid.

She laughs. “Don’t look so horrified. I slip up occasionally, too. You’ll get used to it. I don't expect you to jump right in and know what to do.” I feel a bit of relief wash over me, but I’m going to do better. No swearing when my kid can hear.

Harlowe bends down and opens a cabinet, pulling out a vase for the bouquet. I set my bag down by the island before I come up behind her as she fills it with water and circle my arms around her waist.

“It smells amazing in here, but you smell even better.” I run my nose along her neck, inhaling her coconut and floral scent, and she shivers against me. “Fuck, I missed you today,” I whisper, quiet enough so Hendricks is sure not to hear. My hands slip under the hem of her shirt, finding her soft skin and stroking gently. She sighs and leans back against me.

The oven timer goes off, the beeping startling us both and we jump apart like scolded teens. I laugh and she spins to turn it off, grabbing oven mitts off the counter.

“You should say hi to Hendricks before we get carried away in here. He was asking about you today. I told him you would be coming over more and I really like you.” She pulls a bubbling dish of lasagna out of the oven and sets it on the island to cool. She turns back to me and arches an eyebrow. “The observant little nugget said it was because you two have matching eyes and that's why I like you.” She looks up at me with a rare shy look and I want to take her chin in my hand and kiss it off her face. “I… told him you’re his father.” She looks at me, seeking approval, and I do take her face now, holding her with the reverence she deserves for this act of benevolence.

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