Page 6 of The Bourbon Bargain

“Not to skip over your crazy mama, but back to Hayes Olsen, because I’ve heard of him. He’s a freaking billionaire! And isn’t he, like, kind of old for you? That’s so hot. Did you call him Daddy? Or maybe he’s more of a Zaddy?” Alex asks, but his smile is all teasing.

“No, of course I didn’t! He’s only thirty-five, so it’s not like he’s old enough to be my actual dad. But I did say several filthy things in the span of a week and decided I really, really like sex with him,” I admit, my cheeks heating as I press my hands to my face. Alex is the first person I’ve been able to talk with about this and I find I really want to delve into just how good it was.

“Paige Fairchild, as I live and breathe! You had sex and youliked it. Hussy! That means you held out for a good one, and I’m happy for you.“ Alex pulls me into an awkward sitting hug that I return as best I can. “But wait, I know there is so much more to this story that I am still missing. Go on,” he says, releasing me and making a carry-on motion with his hand.

“Oh, goodness. Where to start on how it went badly?” I muse, sorting the days and incidents in my head. “Well, Mama wouldn’t give up on me marrying Garrison. She even sent him all the way to Atlanta to retrieve me. The police had to escort him off Hayes’s property, which was a moment of justice if I’ve ever seen one.”

“He deserves that and more.” Alex shakes his head, his lips pinched flat.

I feel a vindictive smile stretch my own mouth. It’s a foreign expression but feels justified when thinking about Garrison Daniels and how easily he was let off the hook for what he did. And not just to me. Hayes said there were at least six other women who were his victims.

“Hayes said Mama wouldn’t be able to make me marry Garrison if I was already married. I said yes because I was already in love with him and just like that we flew to Las Vegas and were married within hours, which, now that I say it out loud, actually sounds completely bananas and I would be cringing for any other girl telling this story.” I drop my face into my hands, feeling my cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“I always thought you would be the marrying type rather than the casual fling type, but that’s really fast for you. I think it was just a whirlwind of everything you never knew you wanted hitting you all at once and also an answer to a bad situation. What happened to get you here in New York without your new husband?”

I lift my face and tuck my hair behind my ear, making a mental note of the cracks in the brick wall across from us. “I’m pretty sure Hayes had been planning to buy Daddy’s company before he ever met me. I don’t know what he planned to do with me initially when I ran into him after leaving that disastrous dinner, but I certainly brought plenty of fuel to the fire he had going wanting to buy up the hotels. He must have been working on the deal the entire time I was staying with him, falling in love with him, and thinking he was just as in love with me.” I shift in my seat as I realize just how naive I was. “The day after we were married we went back to Savannah, and he talked Daddy into selling my legacy along with the whole company. I’m still trying to wrap my head around how someone I thought loved me enough to marry me could buy out my legacy. I don’t know all of the details, only what Mama told me over a short phone call before I left Hayes.”

Gosh, it sure sounds bad when I admit that out loud. I didn’t let Hayes tell me his side at all, believing Mama, who has been dead-set on controlling every facet of my life for so long. Not that there could be much in the way of reasons Hayes bought the Xenios Group that would have eased my anger over being lied to and manipulated, but I didn’t even give him the opportunity.

“I guess the silver lining is that he stuck to a plan he had before ever meeting you, rather than seeing an opportunity and wanting to exploit it, ya know? It’s still pretty messed up either way.” Alex reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. “What do you want to do now?”

I sigh and stare up at the ceiling that has a faint, yet ominous, water stain. Everything around me spells disaster.

“I don’t know if there is a simple answer. I really rushed into this, so there’s the logical side of me that wants to downplay the feelings and write it off as a fluke, maybe just wash it all away with an annulment.”

It wouldn’t be the first time I let a bad situation direct the course of my life. I managed to keep my head down and stay away from men and dating entirely for seven years after Garrison tried to have his way with me, so why shouldn’t I become a hermit and remove myself from society for the rest of my life after this particular patch of bad luck?

“I hear a hugebutin that statement, so out with the rest of your thoughts,“ Alex coaxes.

“Fast or not… my feelings were real, and I so badly want them to be true for us. It’s just… really hard to align the falling in love with this incredible man part and also knowing how calculating and underhanded he is. I told him how important running the hotels was to me, and how that’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do, and he never even hinted at his plans to take away what I wanted so much.” I feel so stupid about this whole situation. Distance really gives a new perspective, whether I want it or not.

“Just playing the devil’s advocate here, but if you were in Hayes’s position, would you have said a thing about the acquisition? Don’t those brothers have a reputation for ruthlessly acquiring whatever they want to expand their empire, then they strip the businesses down to the small portion that makes all of the profits while disposing of the rest? It’s probably ingrained in him now to think about what they are taking over next, without a thought for the people who get the short end of the stick in the process. To him, it’s probably just business.” When I look up at Alex, he has an apologetic expression plastered on his face.

Ugh. That’s a gut punch. “So I was cannon fodder for the takeover blowback and he gets a free pass?”

Alex rolls to his knees and leans forward to squeeze my cheeks between his hands. “Of course not, you nut! In my mind, he’s one hundred percent a bad man for taking away something you loved. However, there are”—he pauses and settles back on the couch—“layers, I guess. I’m totally on your side, but I’ve had too many years of therapy to just ignore that relationships are complicated, and people have many perfectly valid, and sometimes not so great, reasons for why they do what they do.”

“Can I stay petty and mad about this situation while you look at it from your healthy mindset from therapy, or do I have to be rational and accept everything you say?”

“Honey, we are Southern. We get to be petty even when we rationalize. We just do a great job of making people guess about the motives because we smile and play nice with them despite it.”

I laugh and feel another layer lighter. Maybe I can get through this, after all.

“Why do you have to live so far away? I need you nearby all the time so I can get through my own junk without completely ruining everything. Come back to Georgia, please.”

“Georgia tends to deny all of my human rights because I’m a transgender person, so I don’t think I’ll be calling it home anytime soon,” Alex says nonchalantly, despite the roller coaster the last few years have been. There was a huge strain on him to live in a state that dislikes people who have chosen a different path than the one those in power think is right.

What a reality check it is, listening to his quick summarization of the harrowing experience he had, when I thought my life was hard. Confusing, yes, but hard? Not by a long shot. I am privileged beyond belief, and my problems are small, though still important to me. It’s very hard not to get caught up in them, in the moment.

“Be straight with me, should I try to make things work with Hayes, or do I give up and concede maybe my mama was right?”

“Well, I haven’t been straight a day in my life, so that’s a tough ask,” he deadpans, and we both laugh. “I think the question you need to answer is if youwantto make it work, no matter what else comes with it. Also, we both know your mama is never right when it comes to you, so stop allowing her to live rent-free in your brain.”

Easier said than done.

I mull over this thought, sinking further into the couch cushion as I do. “I’m out of my element here. I don’t know the first thing about relationships and what’s worth the fight or not,” I admit, tugging my lip into my mouth with my teeth.

“I don’t think you have to be a relationship expert to know when you are treated well or not, and you can always decide if the relationship brings you joy or causes you too much suffering.”

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