Page 9 of The Bourbon Bargain

I cringe and blink rapidly at his word choice, thinking of Liliana calling me collateral damage in Savannah. My heart shutters at the comparison and I fight the knee-jerk reaction to leave the room and close myself off to everything he has to say. But… I said I would hear him out, so that requires an open heart, not the resistant mindset I’m in. I take a deep breath and let it out, along with my resentment and hurt.

“Please continue.” My voice may be shaky and full of hurt, but I’m trying.

“You’re not just some business deal to me, but I did have less than honorable intentions when I first met you.”

My heart sinks with his words that confirm my greatest fear. This is getting worse the longer I listen. I want to make it stop now before it hurts even more. “Hayes,” I plead, but he rushes to speak and keeps me from finishing my thought.

“Those didn’t last long as I got to know the strong and amazing woman you are, outside of the business I wanted for my own. I fell in love with you, not for what I thought you could give me access to, but because of who you are. It’s impossible not to love you, angel. You’re kind and sweet—maybe too much so for the depraved man I am—and your innocence is like a balm to what I realized was a jaded worldview.”

“Your words are very lovely, but this doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of my real issue. You kept something secret that absolutely affected me. You should have told me about it.”

I’m proud of the strength in my voice and the fact I haven’t melted into a puddle at his feet. I deserve an explanation, and I won’t give in until I can see where he was coming from and why he thought he could be so duplicitous. I’ll let my judgment stand until then.

“You’re right.” He drags a hand across his face and stares at me hard from those jungle pool depths for a beat before he drops his hand to his lap and continues. “I should have been upfront and honest with you. I could have told you a hundred times that I was planning to buy the Xenios Group, but I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want to jeopardize the deal we were putting in place. That wasn’t fair to you, and I understand if it changes how you feel about me now.”

I shift in my seat and worry at the hem of my sweater. “So why did you do it? I wasn’t shy about how much the legacy meant to me.” This is an answer I have been wanting from the moment I found out what he did. Why would he do this to me?

Hayes leans forward, his face cloudy with tension. “It was a business decision that was made before I ever met you, so there was less morality holding me back from making the offer. I kept going with it even after you came into my life because I let my business ambitions dictate my choices.”

I shake my head. “You knew the hotels were my future. Now I have nothing. Well, my family has more money than we know what to do with after that monstrous deal you made with Daddy, but money doesn’t give me the future at the helm of a hotel group I was expecting, or my family’s ancestral home to remain in my life. It’s devastating.” My voice cracks on the last word and I have to gulp down a breath to keep myself from giving in to the emotion that suddenly feels thick in my throat.

“Your future with the hotels is just beginning. You don’t have to be devastated about this situation.”

“How can you possibly say that?” I ask, feeling my heart shred a little more in my chest. I rub at the physical ache his words cause. He is absolutely insane if that’s how he really feels despite the way his actions have hurt me.

“The Xenios hotels make up a significant portion of the Olympus Hotel Group now. It will be a public entity, unlike privately held Olympus International, and you will have a controlling interest in it. You’ll have a place on the board and will be helping to direct not just the Xenios properties, but the future of the largest boutique hotel chain in the country.” He pauses and catches what I am sure is a wide-eyed stare of disbelief. “But only if you want it.”

I suck in a breath as what he’s done hits me. “I didn’t buy any stocks.”

“You didn’t have to. It’s a wedding gift to you from Payton and Zander. I know you were expecting to run a hospitality company on the East Coast, but now you’ve got something a little bigger to influence and grow.”

“I can’t believe they would do that. They barely know me,” I say, feeling the shock settling in. This is big. Huge. While being the owner and CEO of the Xenios Group was a lifelong dream because it was the family plan, being on the board and helping influence a much larger, nationwide group will carry far more weight without the day-to-day operations of the hotels to worry about. It’s different knowing I won’t own any hotels outright but having even partial ownership in something so big kind of eases the sting of losing my legacy, including The Mansion, the Fairchild family home that started it all.Almost.

“They know enough to feel confident in placing their trust in you to sit as equal with us in this endeavor. We all feel pretty shitty for how we’ve left you. It’s the least we could do after we dismantled the very thing you wanted most.” His hands hang tightly clenched between his legs as his left knee bounces.

My face softens and the ache in my chest blooms into something softer. Something full of love. “All I wanted was you.”

The urge to touch him makes my hand lift off my lap and hover for a moment before I bring it back down in a clenched fist. I’m as stupid as a cat in heat when I have my hands on him, and I need to keep a level head, at least until I know what the heck I’m doing next.

He springs out of the chair and kneels in front of me, his movements remarkably smooth for how large he is. “And I want you. More than anything, I’ve realized.” He drags his palm across his face and brings his deep green eyes up to meet mine. “Even feeling the way I do, I was desperate to make that deal work and I hurt you in the process. That’s not going to fly from here on out. I learned my lesson the hard way that the things that affect you need to be made known from the beginning. If you give me a second chance, I’m not going to gamble with it.”

I pet Cerberus’s massive head where it’s resting against my thigh. “What do you think? Is it worth trying again?”

He chuffs once and closes his eyes. I lean toward Hayes until our foreheads barely touch.

“I think I can find it in me to give you a second chance. That first one was kind of a trial run if we’re being honest. Besides, even when I was mad at you, I still missed you, and I think that’s where relationships are made. If you’re still madly in love with your partner when they absolutely don’t deserve it, maybe you care about more than the initial things that brought you together. I’m hoping we have a fighting chance at doing life together.”

The brilliant smile that lights up his face is stunning, and I feel every bit of his happiness radiating from him. He reaches toward me and pulls my hips forward until I’m off the couch and straddling his lap, his hands moving to my back and holding me close as my arms wrap around his shoulders.

“We have more than a fighting chance, baby.” He slants his mouth over mine and kisses me like he’s never had something so sweet. I meet his ardor, twisting my tongue and tasting him back. This kiss feels like coming home. It’s an unexpected breeze off the Savannah River finding you on a veranda in the middle of a hot and humid July. It’s a cozy blanket and hot cocoa in front of the fire in December. It’s exactly what I’ve been missing and everything I’ve needed.

I could draw this out and make him grovel. I could ask him to prove through acts of service and grand gestures that he’s worthy of a second chance. I could make him jump through hoops to show he’s learned his lesson, testing him over and over again to ensure he’s not lying to me now. I know I have every right to demand more proof of his miraculous turnaround. I could hold this over his head and keep it as the elephant in the room as long as I wanted to.

I also know that feels wrong.

I don’t want a relationship that lends itself to game-playing. We didn’t take the time to have the typical feeling it out phase, instead, we went straight into believing in what we have together so ardently that we got married, even if it was for convenience, so I don’t know how to judge the apology any better.

All I know is that I love him, and this feels right.

---