Page 28 of The Game

“Tell me about it.”

“I’m so sorry, Adam. You’ve been a great guy to work with over the years. Decent. Fair. I hate to do this to you.”

“I understand, Ted. It’s business. You think the last order you did is your final one?”

“Probably. We might have a few bits and pieces as we wind down, but it won’t be much.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. You’ve been running almost as long as we have.”

A sigh whispers over the line. “I’m in debt up to my eyeballs, to tell you the truth.”

I huff out a laugh. “Me too.”

“It’s not worth it, Adam. You can’t fight a rising tide.”

God, I can’t think like that. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“Keep in touch, okay?”

“You got it.”

After he’s hung up, I stare out the window at my wall again. No sunshine beaming down into the little courtyard area today. I chew the end of my thumb as I plug the numbers into the spreadsheet and my heart sinks. We were in a bad position before, but now … Ted’s business was at least ten percent of what we sell. It doesn’t sound like much, but I’ve already cut to the bone. Even if sales pick up with more publicity, it’s still not enough. We can survive a couple of months at best, and that’s if I really stretch it. I’m going to have to say goodbye to my wall and this little space. My throat tightens.Fuck.

I push up from my desk and tell Susie I’m going for a walk, and as I press down through the streets, past coffee shops and cafés, I study the faces of the people sitting and talking. A well-dressed guy with glasses is working on his laptop. Some of these people are no doubt techies who get paid top salaries in New York companies. I find a bench on the edge of a park eight blocks away.Ten years. To get nowhere. In fact, worse than that, I could have been saving thousands of dollars from a high-flying job. Is my mom right? Have Ibeen messing around here? I set up this business because I love electronics, love designing and building things. I never thought Ted’s business would go down. I should talk to Janus; he’s the one person who would understand this. He’s been on the brink many times himself, but I can’t bear the idea. Not because he’ll say I told you so, but because he’ll be sympathetic and insist on lending me money. I’ve resisted that for years, too. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t talked to him about my company’s problems. Well, I’ll sleep on it tonight and check over all the figures with a fine-tooth comb tomorrow. But I’m definitely going to have to close the business down. I close my eyes as ice sheets across my skin. There’s no point in prolonging the inevitable, Adam. The newspaper references to my flourishing electronics company feel like a wasp sting.

I think about Anna and her dad and what she said about her competition getting stronger every year. How does anybody fight their way to the top? Is it luck? It’s not even that there’s some mythical pinnacle I’m trying to reach. I just want my business to thrive. Maybe Anna would understand that better than anyone.

The next day, I pull the team into my office and run through Ted’s call. Keith’s face is white, and Chris stares at the floor. In the past, I’ve shared the numbers and the fact that we’re not doing too well, but now I fill them in on what it all means. Susie’s eyes are glassy and she won’t meet my eyes.

“I wanted you all to be prepared, to give you some time to start looking for jobs.” I clear my throat. “I think we can keep the company going for a couple of months. Does anybody have any questions?”

“Is it really that bad?” Keith says.

“Yes. I’ve stretched to all the debt I can persuade anyone to lend to me. Would you guys like to go through it in detail?”

Everyone nods, so I pull up the spreadsheet I was poring over last night, and as their eyes scan over the sea of red numbers, and I talk through the issues, the mood in the room gets more and more subdued.

“We’re not selling enough,” José says as he peers at the figures.

Susie is looking at her hands. “We’ve also been spending more. It’s been getting more and more difficult to sell online. This is my fault.”

“No, Susie, it’s not,” I say. “You work damn hard, and I’ve always been impressed with what you do and how tenacious you are in stretching what little marketing budget we do have.”

“We have to make the right things to sell, too,” Keith adds.

Chris clears his throat. “We’ll all put our thinking caps on, Adam. We’ve got two months. The warning is appreciated. We can do a good job here at the same time as we’re looking for work.”

Everyone murmurs in agreement, and my eyes prickle.

“Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I’m happy to give you time off for interviews when you need it.” I have the best team here, and my gut is tight at what’s coming down the line. I’ll have to get a job, too.

About an hour later, I glance up to see Susie leaning on my door jamb.

“With your increased profile, boss, we might have a chance of improving things. I’ve just been digging into the data, and sales have been up on the website over the last couple of weeks.”

I don’t know how we’re going to get ten percent extra out of that, but the guys are great, and I’m not going to let them down if they come up with ideas.

“What were you thinking?”

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