Page 97 of The Photograph

Whaattttt?

Is she saying what I think she’s saying? “Interested in what?”

“In dating Amalia as a prospective partner.”

A prospective partner? What, and sacrifice all her hard work? That would be insane. My head is going to explode.

Mom beams at me. “Mrs. Silverman said she was pleased at how well you two got along.”

“Mom …”

She holds up her hand. “Now, Alex …”

Everything here is two steps forward and one step back. “You’ve spoken to the Silvermans? About me?”

“Well, of course, Alex! It’s high time you started considering …”

Oh my God. What are theythinking?

“Did you not listen when we talked the other night?”

She waves her hand. “We’ve put all that behind us now. Your father and I are eager to move on from that, and now you’re back at home …”

Move on from that.Right. Dad comes to Des’s apartment to apologize but somehow we’re all moving on from it. I almost groan at this. Des was right. With time and patience, I hoped we could … Now they’re galloping off in the opposite direction asfast as they can. They’re going to blindside me at every turn. And I need to be clear here. So clear.Take a deep breath, Alex.

“You might want to put the argument behind us, Mom, and so do I, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gay. I’m just not interested in women that way. As for the idea Amalia might give up her place at a top university she’s worked so hard for? That’s insane. It’s like living in the 1950s.”

“Perhaps she wants to settle down. She’s an amazing woman, Alex—smart, pretty, looking for someone from a family like ours. You’d be a fool to not even consider …”

“Mom,” I say softly, “I like guys, okay?”

She winces when I say this. “Maybe you think that now, but your father says …”

I fold my arms over my chest.

“… a lot of these things when you’re young are a passing phase, and it doesn’t mean that you …”

Given a few short months ago I thought I was bisexual, it feels amazing how certain I feel now, about Des, about the fact that I’m gay. “Mom, it’s not a passing phase. I’ve known I liked guys since I was thirteen. We swept it under the carpet last time, and I ought to have been braver then, but it’s not going change. This is who I am.”

Perhaps if I can convince Mom, I can work on the rest of them.

“Your father is never going to accept that, Alex. If you persist with this, I think he’s going to get more and more unhappy.”

“And what about all of us getting more and more unhappy? Why should something like my sexuality revolve around him?”

Mom spreads her hands. “This is his house, Alex. He’s in charge here.”

“Well, he’s not in charge of me,” I say, and I wave my arm at her and turn, just like before. Yet, at the bottom of the stairs, I stop. Leaving immediately was a mistake last time: Who knowswhen I might be able to come back if I leave again without any of my stuff? Bounding up to my room, I drag a carryall out of the back of my closet, hands shaking as I shove things into it.

How long have they been scheming to fix me up with Amalia Silverman? It’s insane. Does Amalia know, and worse, does she like me? And God, did I string her along? I empty drawers as fast as I can, throwing T-shirts, pants, and shirts into the bag before zipping it up. I open the door to my bedroom and listen. The television is droning on in the living room, so I walk along the corridor and down the stairs, placing my feet as quietly as I can. At the front door, I put the bag down on the mat and bend to slip on my shoes.

“Alex,” a quiet voice says behind me, and I look around to find Rachel standing halfway up the stairs.

She pads down silently. “What are you doing?” she whispers, eyes darting to the living room door and coming back to rest on the bag on the mat.

“I’m sorry, Rach, I can’t stay here.”

She bites her lip, eyes roaming my face. And something snaps in the air, like some deep long understanding. I close my eyes as they go tight. I’m so grateful for it, for all my sisters, despite our disagreements. A soft kiss presses into my cheek.

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