Page 43 of The Photograph

Oh Jesus. “And did you?” God, this must have been awful for him. And wait a minute, some guy had his hands on him? My blood runs hot and thick, a strange kind of heat taking over my chest.

“Did I what?”

“Give him a blowjob?”

“Of course not! I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I bolted out through the back and raced off down the street.”

Hot relief swamps me. The idea of him being forced into something …

Alex bites his lip, eyes roaming over my face and looking suspiciously glassy. “Nothing fazes you, does it, Des? I’ve been shaky about this ever since it happened and you’ve just … you think it’s funny!”

“Sorry, that’s really rude. I’m sorry that happened to you. It must have been awful. I …”

“No, no, no. I like that you laughed. You’ve just blown it all away.”

I tilt my head. “Blown it away?”

“Made me see it differently. You’re just not fazed by anything,” he repeats.

How funny that I think that about him, too. I shrug. “I’m gay and I have five, fairly lively, sisters. I’ve seen a lot of shit.”

James’s words about being good at this people thing echo through my head. Perhaps everything isn’t always my fault? Perhaps I’m managing a bunch of assholes. Why do I always take responsibility for everything? Well, it’s fucking obvious, Des. Why even ask yourself that question?

A dog walker struggles past with five dogs on leashes, and a smile curls over Alex’s lips as they rush around getting tangled up. There’s more color in his cheeks now. I laugh and he glances back at me.

“I know, right?” I say, gesturing at a huge Doberman that keeps falling over a poodle with a red ribbon on the top of its head.That’s so like Mitzi!I rub my hands down my face. Jesus, I am the worst gay cliché in New York.

Then he squeezes my hand.

“Thanks,” he says. “Thanks for saying you want me.”

I stir my coffee. “Of course I do, you nut.” I grin. “Maybe I should be thanking you, sexy guy.” I lean toward him and stare at his mouth, and he blushes and clears his throat.

“Anyway, you said your evening was a nightmare.” He takes a bite of his sandwich as his eyes drift back to mine.

God, I’d completely forgotten about George. “Okay, I’m revising that assessment down now I’ve heard about your evening. More like slightly annoying in comparison to yours,” I say, and he laughs.

“For a couple of years, I’ve had a complicated relationship with a guy named George. We were partners once, but it never worked because I wanted loyalty, and he wanted … well … admiration.” I screw my face up. “At least I think that’s how it was. I still don’t understand what he was doing with me. George is never happier when he has a lot of admirers and he likes hooking up, and after months of him sneaking around behind my back, I got fed up and we called it a day. Until recently, we still hooked up now and again, but we certainly aren’t ‘partners’ anymore.” I make air quotes around the word.

He nods. Perhaps Alex is the perfect person to discuss George with, despite the weirdness of the whole talking-about-your-ex conversation. At least Alex understandssomethingabout the scene, and he’s honest. He might help me understand George’s mentality better.

“He thought we were still boyfriends if that makes sense, and then I told him about you.”

“You told him about me?”

I nod. “And he didn’t take it well.”

Alex looks down at his sandwich intently. “What did you tell him?”

“That I’d found someone new.”

His head pops up again, eyebrows raised, and why is he surprised at this? Did he not think I was that committed? Maybe he didn’t.

I frown at him. “We’re dating, aren’t we?”

His face flushes. “I’d like to think so. I just didn’t want you to think you had to give things up for me and my …” He hesitates. “Slowness.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think that. I’m enjoying it.” Reaching out, I tap his hand again and he turns it over so I can curl my fingers around his, lifting it up to kiss the back of his hand. “I like this. I likeyou,” I whisper.

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