Page 34 of The Photograph

“I really don’t,” I say. ButI kind of do.

Alex stares down the line, doesn’t take my hand again, and looks more and more mutinous as we approach the entrance. When we reach the door, the bouncer does a quick scan of my face.

“Dessy!” he booms. “You should have come up here! Where’s that friend of yours tonight … George?”

I glance at Alex but his face is impassive, like my dreadful history isn’t being dragged across the sidewalk right in front of him. I grin at Carl. “Good to see you, Carl. Didn’t want to take advantage.”

He gives me a wicked smile. “You can take advantage any time, along with this dreamboat here.” He ruffles Alex’s hair, and I can almost see him flinch. A sick bottomless feeling creeps through my gut as we head into the thumping heat and half-naked bodies. So much for showing him how great this could be—all he’s seeing is debauchery. Alex looks out over the sea of humanity and his eyes widen.

“Oh my God,” he yells in my ear. “This is insane.”

I laugh in his face and raise my arms over my head, dancing off into the swaying mass on the dance floor. Lots of guys are shirtless. Maybe tonight will all be too much for Alex and that will be the end of … A pair of hands clamp on to my waist, and I turn my head to find Alex’s face right next to mine. So I slow down and he bumps into me, breathless and laughing.

When I swivel my hips, he doesn’t retreat, so I swing around and plant a kiss on his lips, and they’re velvety and warm andhis breath stutters, nose brushing mine as the music recedes like a wave and his eyes blink, fixed on mine. Grabbing his hand, I lean back and grin at him, dragging him further into the throng. People reach out, the usual pats and gropes hello, and Alex’s face scrunches like his head is going to explode.I’ll give him something to explode about.

I stretch down and strip my T-shirt over my head, letting the thump-thump of the beat flow through my body as I close my eyes and start to move. But when I open my eyes again, Alex is dancing,reallymoving. Hip hop, doing some complicated crossover, and the guys next to him have stepped back to make space for him. And I stop and stare. He’s watching his feet but he glances up, a grin lighting up his face.

Leaning forward, he shouts in my ear, “What can I say, I loved dance classes at school. My father was very disapproving.”

He’s such a surprise. Every time. But we’rehereand the thought of meeting Alex’s father, how I imagine his family to be, and how impossible this all is, sends a shudder rolling through me.

I plant a hand on his damp chest, and his eyes trip over my bare shoulder before he places his hand over mine. And my eyes go wide as he leans then jerks forward and gives me a shy kiss. My gut tightens.So sexy. So sexy.Holy hell, this guy. I’m crazy about him. I’m even coming around to taking it slow now, which is a little nuts. Because we’re not diving into sex, I’m getting to know him on a deeper level and appreciate him in other ways. God knows what he thinks of me. This thing we have is throwing everything else into sharp relief, forcing me to concentrate on all the stuff that isn’t sex, and I’m hot with it.

“Take your T-shirt off,” I shout in his ear as I lean back into him.

Shaking his head, he grins. “Not brave enough.”

I shiver as he puts his hand onmychest. It’s the first time he’s touched my body in a way that’s at all sexual. We’ve had trailing hands and finger links, even a platonic hug, but nothing like a solid palm over my heart. My hand comes down on top of his as he swivels his hips, inches from mine. His fingers are like triggers, bony and tense, hair rough beneath my palm.

“I like that you took yours off, though. I get to admire this all night.” He taps his thumb against my breastbone.

“If you’re tempted, feel free to do anything you like to me,” I say, grinning, and he laughs.

“Maybe,” he says.

Later I drag Alex to The Donut for a hot chocolate, then at 3 a.m. he disappears into the night with a soft press of his lips to mine, saying he’ll text me when he’s coming round. And I shake my head as he vanishes into the subway. Did my attempt to show him what his life could be like make any difference? Did he love it or hate it? Does he get how much I like him? I’ve no idea.But a kiss is progress, right?It’s going to take more than one night of fun to wheel this tanker around.

14

DES

When I slump into my seat the following day, gritty-eyed, Cath raises her eyebrows at me over the top of her screen, twirling her pen in the air. Is that triumph or despair? I grin at her, then nod at her hair.

“I like the beehive,” I say, and she fingers the pearl buttons of her cashmere cardigan, wrapping it across the front of her body.

“Des, we’ve missed a key deadline,” she hisses, glancing around.

“What do you mean?” Standing up, I head over to her desk.

“Well, look,” she says, pointing to a box on the project management software on her screen. The delivery date says March 20th. It’s now April 23rd.

I track along the line. “That’s for the testing code,” I murmur. “That might be why we haven’t noticed it. Have Samsung said anything?”

“They haven’t said a word to me, but they could have been chasing whoever’s responsible for it and it’s passed us by. Everyone updates me regularly, and it shouldn’t happen but …” She looks close to tears.

“We need a better process for this,” I say, squeezing her shoulder and tapping the screen. “Can you look at linking this to who’s checking in their code so we can keep a closer eye on what people are doing. Develop some system around it. As the team gets bigger, we should have something that doesn’t rely on you spotting something on our new project management software.”

She nods.

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