Page 48 of The Photograph

“But you sent me a photograph of you having oral sex with someone …”

A disgruntled noise rumbles in his throat. “Jesus, that photo. I was taking pictures and he pulled up my T-shirt and kissed my stomach.”

“That was it?”

He nods into my neck.

Oh fuck. This explains everything, all the reluctance, the desire forslow.And my chest expands, so fast. The idea of being his first?God.I shift, trying to pull his face up from where he’s buried it under my jaw so his eyes will meet mine, and he reluctantly lifts his head. His face is flushed, damp hair curling over his ears and his temples, and my gaze flicks from one eye to the other, over his long dark lashes, sun-in-autumn eyes.

“You’ve never done this with a guy?”

Pink builds on his cheeks, and he buries his head back in my neck.

Grinning up at the warm shadows, I say, “Alex, talk to me.”

He moves his head back and forward against my throat.

“No, you won’t talk to me? Or no, you’ve never done this with a guy?”

“Messed around,” he mumbles into my neck.

“Define messed around,” I say, and he lifts his head to my wide smile.

His eyes flutter as he looks to the side. “Are you making fun of me?”

“Are you kidding? Do you know what this does to me?” I push my hips up into him. “That I might be your first? Your firstguy?”

He groans again and tips his head down onto my sternum. “It’s embarrassing.”

Stroking my hand over his hair, I pull on it gently, bringing him up again.

“No,” I say, leaning up to press my mouth briefly against his, “it isn’t. It’s a turn-on.” I lift into him again and his eyelids droop.

“I’ve messed around: kissing, hands under clothes, touching.”

“Touching penises?”

“Not hand-to-hand combat, no.”

Oh my God, he has such a delightful way of putting things.

“Coming in pants?”

His eyes go wide. “Des, for heaven’s sake!”

“Well?”

“No! okay? Jesus.” Then he rolls to my side, back to the couch. “God, this is so embarrassing. You’re like this gorgeous, experienced gay guy, and I’m like this hick Jewish kid that can’t even …” I press my finger against his lips.

“Alex, come on, it’s not like that. I’m overwhelmed here, that you might do this with me … Have you done it with a woman?”

“Yeah, twice.”

No wonder he was horrified at the debauchery that is Crush. And going to Jake’s!Holy shit.What the hell was he doing on Grindr?

“And?”

“Not good. I wasn’t into it … you know?”

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