Page 36 of Again with Feeling

“Okay, but if it’s dangerous, then I don’t wantyou—”

“This discussion is over now.”

And she turned and went downstairs.

I was still kind of reeling as I followed her. Did that kind of thing always work? Or did it only work on me? Would it work if I tried it on Bobby the next time he started in on one of his lectures (lectures was a kind word, right?) about why I shouldn’t crush up packets of Smarties and then blow the dust in Keme’s hair?

(Keme had been so mad. It was amazing.)

When I got to the kitchen, Indira was directing Millie and Keme as they put away various baskets, display racks, and cake stands. Fox had found the rest of the whipped cream, and they were dipping Oreos in it. (Which, okay, was genius.)

“One time,” Fox said, “I made out with a guy who had fallen off his motorcycle and then gotten run over byanothermotorcycle. Oh, and then a horse stepped on him.” They gave me an unnecessarily pointed look, snapped off a bite of Oreo, and added, “Just saying.”

“It’s nice to see you too,” I said. “Keme, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up. It means a lot to me that you care—”

The boy had frozen as if transfixed, and his eyes were slowly widening in horror. He was even giving tiny, abortive shakes of his head.

“—uh,” I fumbled for the rest of the sentence, but the best I could come up with was: “I love you too.”

If you could have seen his face.

“And another time,” Fox said, “I made out with a guy who had been kicked in the—” A polite cough. “—nuggets at the same time that someone blew an air horn in his ear.” Another crisp bite of Oreo, and a pointed look for Keme. “Just saying.”

“Fox, quit teasing them,” Indira said.

“That was teasing?” I asked.

Keme was trying to assure Millie in a whisper, “I don’t love him.”

“Everyone focus,” Indira said.

You’d better believe we all focused.

“We’re going to help Dash with his investigation today so that Bobby can have some peace of mind,” Indira said.

“That’s sweet, but—” I tried.

“Not to mention keep Dash from getting himself killed,” Fox said.

“That was less sweet. I really don’t want you all risking—”

“There,” Indira said. “That’s settled.”

And somehow, it was. Just likeThis discussion is over now. Would it work, I wanted to know, if I said it when I was trying to convince Bobby that no, three extra-large pizzas were not too much, on account of the miracle of leftovers?

“Fox, you’re driving. Millie, you’ll do research. Keme, you’re going to watch Dash’s back.”

His little chest puffed right up. He ruined it, kind of, by checking to see if Millie had heard.

“And I’m bringing my gun,” Indira said. “Now, Dashiell, where are we going?”

Chapter 12

My original thought was that I might catch Candy at work, but it turned out, the Neptune’s Depths Seafood Processing plant was closed on Sundays (who’d have thunk?). So instead, we drove into Astoria.

It was another beautiful summer day, and Astoria was beautiful too. If you’ve never visited—or you’ve never seenThe Goonies(shame on you)—it’s notactuallyon the coast. It’s a waterfront city, yes, but it’s on the Columbia River. For over a hundred years, it’s been a major port in the Pacific Northwest: timber, fur, import and export, commercial fishing, all that stuff. As in many port cities, there’s a rift between the blue-collar workers whodothe actual shipping and fishing and loading and unloading and processing, etc., and the business owners and managers and old-money families. So, for example, in addition to being a working port, Astoria also has a scenic river walk. It has tract homes, like the ones where Arlen, Candy, Neil, and Jane lived, but it also has big old Queen Annes up on the hill. (Side note: check out Airbnb. There’s this one house where you can rent a room, and the room used to be the nursery, and there’s this creepy old-timey bassinet in the room, and you have tosleepwith that thing in there with you, and when Keme saw the pictures, he said it looked, quote,haunted as—well, a word that you can’t put in an Airbnb listing). The Columbia River Bar (that’s the spot where the river meets the ocean) is one of the most dangerous stretches of water in the world. Even huge commercial freighters occasionally capsize and go under there—no joke, not too long ago, it happened to a shipment of jeans, and people kept finding them washed up on the shore. In fact,it’s so dangerous that, for years, it kept all those intrepid sailor-explorers from discovering the mouth of the river, even though they were sailing right in front of it.

In other words, Astoria wasnotHastings Rock. It was beautiful in its own way, as I said, but it was a working city, a grittier city. The bumper sticker from Neil’s truck came back to me:We ain’t quaint. Hastings Rock was quaint. I had the feeling that if Astoria ever had a chance, it would give Hastings Rock an atomic wedgie and shove it in a locker.

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