Page 14 of The Sin

“On the contrary,” I corrected. “You are steadfast, honorable and duty-bound. But that’s in your world, and in your world, I’m the sin. I’m the thorn that pricks your loyalty. Our lives are entrenched in secrets. You have yours and I have mine. I would never have learned about the Outerlanders unless I’d acted on my own accord and seen it for myself. Can you honestly say I’m wrong?”

He didn’t refute my statement.

As hard and cold as the look in his eyes was, it somehow became harder, colder, the intensity deepening as he stared at me. After what felt like an eternity, his gaze eventually cut away from me.

I took that as my cue to leave.

I had no idea what came next, what he’d do with whatever had just happened here, but at least there was now one less secret—one less lie—between us. I did not regret that.

7

Roman had already left when I crawled out of bed the following morning. Another restless night. Another endless day yawning in front of me.

He did return around midmorning with a brown paper bag. “Your grocery list.”

“Thanks.” I took the bag from him and deposited it on the kitchen table, studying his expression, trying to discern his mood after last night.

He had every right to be angry with me. I’d invaded his private sanctuary. I’d snooped through his personal belongings and uncovered his secrets. I wasn’t proud of my actions, and I’d had my reasons, but the Sisters of Capra were only part of it. Curiosity had been the other part and that just wasn’t a very good excuse.

His mask, however, was firmly in place. His eyes were the color of stone and held about the same emotional depth.

He barely spared me a glance before he turned to go.

“Roman.”

He stilled, then slowly turned to face me again. He didn’t ask, but of course he knew what was on my mind. “If you planned to somehow use that information, you severely underestimate me.”

“That was never my intention, else I wouldn’t have shown you.” I gave up any leverage the moment I did that. “I’m sure you’ve gotten rid of the evidence. Or found a better hiding spot. It’s my word against yours, and we both know how that works in our world. So, no, I never planned to use it against you.”

He stood there, his jaw squaring as he looked at me. “Why?”

Why did I betray him? Because, yes, that’s what I did when I went snooping in his study. Why did I admit to it? It came down to one and the same thing, really.

He was a warden and I was a Sister of Capra.

That’s why.

We both had secrets we could never divulge.

My betrayal and deceit was for a just cause, but it was still betrayal. It was still deceit. I was married to a warden and the Sisterhood would always find ways to use that. They already had, when they’d used my access to Julian Edgar to get his handprint.

“I can’t trust you and you can’t trust me, and now we both know it,” I finally said to Roman. I’d never breathe a word about the Sisterhood to him, but I could do this. “This is about as honest as our relationship can get.”

I fully expected him to demand an explanation. I was prepared with derivative answers that shamed my character but honored my loyalties.If you tell me I can’t know something, I won’t stop until I do.For a female in the Eastern Coalition, that was practically a cardinal sin.

Roman didn’t demand anything. He looked at me a long moment, then turned to leave. “I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up for me.”

I didn’t, and the next morning, again, he was gone before I stumbled out of bed. But after that conversation, I used my hours to think more about the Sisters of Capra and less about the miserable state of my marriage.

The organization was so secretive, the only members I knew was my mom, who’d inducted me into the Sisterhood, and Rose, my point of contact.

We were pragmatic about the world we lived in.

We didn’t want to burn Capra down to the ground.

Our duty to society would always play a pivotal role. I was a wife, a mother, then a Sister of Capra. Children were our future. Without the next generation, there’d be nothing to fight for. That much my mom had instilled in me.

But our world could be better.

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