Page 113 of Aine

I just need to get through this and I can go downstairs.

Damien’s approval provides no comfort as large tears roll down my cheeks. I wrestle with the soap before getting the top open and pouring a large amount onto my loofah. My actions are messy and hectic, but I can’t bring myself to care as I rush to finish.

I just need to get through this and I can go downstairs.

My chest begins to heave as I roughly scrub all the grime that’s accumulated since yesterday’s shower. I should’ve just skipped showering today. I haven’t left the house, so it’s not like I’m even that dirty.

I just need to get through this and I can go downstairs.

The skin on my arms turns red from the harsh rubbing, and my vision blurs as I struggle to keep my mind straight. My head snaps to the side when I hear a quiet noise from just beyond the bathroom door.

I can’t see through the glass, but fear prevents me from opening and checking.

What if somebody attacked Damien and is now searching for me? Are they in the bathroom? Is it Owen? I know it is. I begin to hyperventilate as my thoughts go haywire, fully convinced he’s standing in the room waiting to take me.

I feel utterly defeated as I slide down the shower wall and wait for the beast to bust through the door. Tucking my knees to my chest, my eyes dart around every dark shadow beyond the shower door.

He’s here. He’s here and he’s going to punish me.

I bury my face into my knees, my entire body tense and on edge as I wait for Owen’s arrival.

The sound of the bathroom door slamming against the wall has me unable to breathe, and I flail as the shower is ripped open and I’m pulled against a hard chest. My feet kick out as I try to push him away. I don’t want him to take me again. I don’t want to hurt anymore.

I open my mouth to call for Damien, the veins in my neck bulging when only silence leaves my lips.

“Aine!” he shouts moments before the water shuts off. “Aine, open your eyes. It’s me. It’s just me.”

I shake my head and continue pushing at the hands on my shoulders. He’s lying. He’s always lying.

“Aine, please. You’re safe. It’s me.”

Large hands run down my spine before rising and cupping my skull. The touch is familiar, and I can’t hold back a loud sob as I realize it’s just Damien. My body sags into his, letting him pull me off the ground and onto his lap. His panic mixes with my own as he leans against the wall and holds my face to his chest, his voice soothing as he whispers quiet assurances.

His clothing is soaking wet, and guilt sets in as I realize I failed my task. He asked me to shower by myself and I could barely make it two minutes before turning into a blubbering mess.

I’m disappointing.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve never listened to Avia. You won’t have to shower without me ever again if you don’t want to,” he promises between kisses to my temple. “I won’t push you again, I promise.”

We remain on the floor until my cries turn into hiccups and my body no longer shakes. My lips rest against his shoulder, and I gulp before opening my mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

My whisper is inaudible to my ears, but I can tell Damien hears it as his hand stops its soothing movements. His fingers curl where they rest against my spine, fingertips grazing the bone before he leans back to look me in the eye.

His eyebrows are pulled tight as he scans me. Confusion and frustration hit me through our bond, a slight contradiction to the pain I see in his eyes.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” His tone leaves no room for argument as he wipes away the wetness on my cheeks. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to do so much so quickly. This is my fault.”

I want to argue. I should’ve known nobody was here to take me. Damien tells me I’m safe, and it’s disrespectful for me to keep doubting him.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says after a moment of tense silence.

I allow him to manhandle me as he stands and sets us both to our feet. A sliver of fear rushes through me as he turns the water back on and steps away, my mind going into a frenzy at the thought that he’s going to leave.

An audible sigh of relief slips from my throat when instead he tugs off his soaked clothing.

He’s going to be joining me. Good.

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