Page 133 of Her Males

I don’t want him to hurt, especially because of me.

“Fuck, Charlie.” Silas grunts, his hands barely grazing my hips. “I can’t.”

I can feel his heart hammering in his chest, the muscle getting a workout with how hard it’s beating.

“And I know that’s so fucking selfish, considering all the shitty things I’ve done to you, but every time I look at your face, I see his, and when you touch me, even like this, I think about how much more potent your scent was on him than it will be on me when you let go.” His vulnerability is shocking.

I release him and step away. “Then put my scent on you,” I offer, backing into my desk and spreading my legs.

I’m sore and don’t like the idea of having anything inside me right now, but I’ll do it for Silas.

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m not Aziel, Charlie. Claiming you won’t make me feel better. I want to co-exist with you, and I want to help the females and earn my forgiveness for my wrongdoings, but I can’t look you in the eye and tell you I’ll ever be open to a relationship again.”

Silas sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, his eyes lingering where my necklace once sat.

“I’ll have a new one made for you,” he promises, clasping his hands behind his back before nodding to himself and leaving.

I stare at his retreating form, trying and succeeding to keep any tears from leaking out of my eyes. I appreciate his apology, and I know Silas will forgive me with time.

He has to.

I’m serious about wanting him and Gray, and even if they don’t believe it now, they will eventually. I’ve got lifetimes to prove it now that I’m bonded with Aziel, and I can be patient.

Aziel comes wandering in a minute later, his expression cautious as he evaluates me. I’m sure he heard every word between Silas and me, and I shake my head to signal that I don’t want to speak about it.

I know this puts him in a weird position, and I don’t want him to feel like he has to take sides. Gray’s got to be ecstatic with Aziel finally accepting their bond, and I don’t want to make Aziel feel guilty for connecting with his males.

“How’d it go with Gray?” I ask.

Aziel shrugs, trying to hold back a smile. His lips are puffy, which I’m taking as a good sign.

He’s made it his mission to annoy Gray as much as possible these past few days, and it seems to be working. I don’t quite understand it, but they’ve always had a weird relationship, so I’m not questioning them.

I told Aziel to sleep with them last night instead of me, but he’s insisting on waiting until I’m also welcome to join. I feel guilty, but Aziel isn’t one to be pressured into doing something he doesn’t want.

“Are you ready to go?” he asks, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around my waist.

I grab my documents and bury my face in his chest until we’re in the shifter lands.

Aziel taps my back to signal the transition is over, and I do my best to push thoughts of Silas out of my head as I drag Aziel toward Kato’s cabin.

He squeezes my clammy palm with a slight smile, seemingly unconcerned about the sweat accumulating due to the warm air and his tight grip. I know he notices it, our skin contact uncomfortably slick.

We make it two steps before I trip over a root, but Aziel quickly catches me.

“Let me hold these.” He laughs and takes the documents out of my arms.

I thought being bonded with Aziel would help me be smooth on my feet, but it hasn’t helped. I want to be like a mountain goat, climbing the trickiest terrain with ease. Instead, I’m like a bull in a china shop, tripping over everything and embarrassing myself.

“Are you going to be on your best behavior?” I ask, worried about Aziel and Kato being in a room together.

Aziel pinches my butt.

“What are Silas and Gray thinking? About me?” I pry, changing the subject.

I want to know how effective my apologies are, and Aziel’s got the inside scoop. Silas seemed receptive to my apologies and touch earlier, but Gray’s impossible to read.

“You know I’m not going to tell you that,” Aziel scolds, pulling me against his side when Kato’s cabin comes into view.

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