Page 131 of Her Males

SILAS FOLLOWS ME into my office, and I tug on the hem of my shirt as I push open the door and walk around my desk.

Aziel shouts Gray’s name before his footsteps quicken into a slow jog, but I don’t try to eavesdrop on their conversation as I turn to Silas.

He’s wearing his usual formal attire, and I can’t help but notice the slight wrinkles in his pants and shirt. Silas is always so uptight about his clothing, and the lack of care in his outfit is shocking. His hair looks a bit unkempt, too, the shorter strands I love to run my fingers through now long enough to cover his ears.

I gulp and sit in my chair as he scans my office. Should I sit or stand? I’m not sure what’s appropriate.

Silas doesn’t seem to care either way, his attention darting from the items on my desk to the wall of photos behind me. Most of them are random flowers and objects I’ve collected over the years. Gray helped me frame them a long time ago.

Silas takes his time looking each one over, though, an action he’s done dozens of times. His lips purse as he pauses on one, and I can tell by the clenching of his jaw that it’s the photo of him, Gray, and Aziel. I found it while snooping around Gray’s office, and after a good thirty minutes of giggling, I convinced the incubus to help me hang it up.

Aziel and Silas look less-than-excited as they stand on either side of a beaming Gray, both men clearly having been forced to take the photo. Gray has a hand around each of their waists, holding them tightly while they visibly squirm.

They look awkward, but it’s still one of my favorites. I know Silas felt complimented when I hung it up long ago.

He pushes a piece of hair out of his face before sitting opposite my desk, his attention finally moving to me.

I haven’t been alone with him or Gray since returning, and the unknown has me wary. I knew coming back would be challenging, but I never expected this. My hands clench into fists at the memory of Gray and Silas’s painful judgement, and I move my arms below my desk to keep them hidden.

When another minute goes by and Silas doesn’t speak, I glance at the clock and fidget. The shifters are expecting Aziel and me soon, and I don’t want to keep them waiting.

My tongue darts out to wet my lips as Silas scans the files on my desk.

“I want to apologize,” he finally says, clasping his hands over his lap.

I’m shocked, and I stiffen in my seat as the words filter through my brain.

“It was wrong for me to abandon you in Lust,” he continues, clearing his throat. “I’m sorry.”

He gives me a moment to collect myself, watching silently as I push my hair behind my ears. I didn’t think I’d be getting an apology, and I appreciate it.

“Why did you?” I ask.

I’m not going to like his answer, but I know I need to hear it. His actions are ones I’d expect from Gray, the incubus prone to emotional decisions, but not Silas. He’s always the voice of reason, thinking through and weighing the consequences of everything he does.

“Rock came to get us right after you were taken. The shifter was there, and I was angry when I smelled you on him and realized you’d been intimate. I thought you had sex with him, and I got into a fight with Aziel about it.” Silas pauses to run a hand down his face. “I was embarrassed and felt dumb, so I left.”

I nod, happy to have an answer, even if it isn’t one I like. I never would’ve abandoned them in a dangerous situation like that. My actions are inexcusable, but so is leaving me to be abused and raped in Lust.

“Did you regret it before discovering what happened between Kato, Emily, and me?” I ask.

My knees knock together as I wait for a response. I worry he only feels bad because he was wrong, but I think he should regret it either way. Even if I had had sex with Kato, his punishment doesn’t fit the crime.

I cheated, yes, but that doesn’t mean I deserve a lifetime of being abused by Asmod. Especially when it would’ve been so easy to save me.

It’s not like it was a lot of work. It took Aziel, Kato, and Chev less than an hour and considering the demons live for practically forever, that’s a quick task.

“Yes, I regretted it before I knew the truth. I knew Aziel was capable of getting you back himself, and I used that to justify my actions,” he admits. “It’s not an excuse, though, and I should’ve stayed to help even if I wasn’t needed.”

Instinctively, I move to fiddle with my necklace, but I pause when I remember it’s no longer there.

Silas follows the action, his eyebrows furrowing as he spots my bare neck. He seems to want to comment on it, but I interject before he has the opportunity.

“Would you have left if Aziel hadn’t been there?” I ask.

I’m met with silence, Silas’s attention still captured by my bare neck.

“Of course not. Where’d your necklace go?” he asks, changing the subject. “You should be wearing it always.”

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