Page 84 of The Female

His voice shakes, so I drop the subject. The last thing I want is to get him in trouble. I’ll ask Gray about it again tonight.

I’m hoping he’ll be in a good mood when I tell him I’ve definitively decided I want to be his only source of lust, even if that means he feeds from me without asking. Hopefully, that good mood will also translate to him giving me the information I want.

I hope it’s his hunger making him grumpy and uncooperative.

I work my way through three more pages of my anatomy book before giving up and tossing the translator aside. This would be so much easier if I didn’t have to translate every word individually, and I make a mental note to return to this when my reading comprehension is better.

Rock looks up as I stand and stretch, his body wincing at the loud cracks that emerge from my spine. Shadows probably can’t crack their bones.

“Are you done for today?” he asks.

I nod. “I think my brain will explode if I read one more word.”

Rock’s chuckle sounds nervous, his anxiety making me concerned until I realize he probably can’t tell if I’m being serious or not. I’m sure he was raised believing humans are incredibly frail and helpless creatures, their bodies failing at the slightest hint of stress.

“I’m joking.” I laugh.

He sighs, and I shake my head as his body relaxes into the chair he’s lounging in. Humans may be small and weak compared to demons, but we don’t spontaneously combust. Should I tell him about brain aneurysms and cardiac arrest?

It would be funny, but it’s probably best to keep that information to myself. Poor Rock would probably refuse to tutor me out of fear I’ll suddenly die.

He hums a tune I’ve never heard before as he stands and follows me into the hallway, his shadowy hand reaching out to tousle the hair on top of my head. I frown and fix the ruined strands as he spins and leaves.

Gray’s office door is closed, and I bounce on my toes as I push it open and peek inside. He’s on the phone but waves me in with a smile. He also gestures for me to sit on his lap, which I happily do.

We haven’t really spoken since our conversation, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s been avoiding me. As annoying as I find it, I’m grateful he gave me uninterrupted time to think.

Despite knowing I was purchased for the sole purpose of feeding Gray, somewhere along the line, I grew comfortable and started to take back ownership of my body. It felt good having the power to deny him, and it felt even better knowing he would respect that.

With a slow inhale, I remind myself it’s still my body and I’m deciding to let him do this. If I change my mind and say this isn’t what I want, he’ll back off and respect my wishes. I know he would.

I try to eavesdrop on Gray’s conversation as I settle on his lap, but the person on the other end of the line is too quiet to hear. Instead, I lean into his chest and listen to his heartbeat. It thumps rhythmically and increases as I slide my fingertips up the hem of his shirt and press against the bare skin of his belly.

We’ve come so far since I was purchased. A part of me is still scared I’m being silly with my emotions toward Gray, but that fear grows smaller each day. I’ve never been in a relationship before, let alone had any prolonged interaction with a male who wasn’t my father, and I don’t know what’s normal.

Are the things he’s asking of me reasonable, or am I naive and falling for some trick?

My mom would have an answer.

Gray tells me he’s looking for her, and I wonder if it’s also silly for me to believe he’s doing so. He seems earnest, though.

My head spins as I sink further into the dark rabbit hole of my insecurities. Gray rubs gentle circles against my back as he chats, and after a couple of minutes, I hear him say goodbye and set his phone on his desk.

I remain still as he bends and kisses my cheek, his lips lingering before sliding to my mouth to give me a proper one. I’m eager to return it, my lips softening against his as I crane my neck so he has better access.

“Are you and Rock finished?” he asks as he pulls back.

I nod. I enjoy my study sessions with Rock. He’s kind and easy to be around, and I’m learning much more than I thought I would.

“Yes. I spent more time reading than working, though,” I admit, my face warming.

Gray chuckles and tightens his hold on my waist. I cozy up to him, enjoying the warmth his body emits. I’ve noticed he’s been allowing more and more of his lust out when I’m around, and I’m excited that it’s not affecting me nearly as much as it once did.

If I focus on it too much, I’ll grow aroused and fidgety, but it fades into the background for the most part. Silas’s has been getting better, too, but I still struggle with it. His makes me uncomfortable, my body wanting to submit and be small.

“What’s Rock’s real name?” I ask. “I feel awful calling him ‘Rock.’”

Gray doesn’t immediately answer, and I slide my finger up his chest before pulling away with a gasp.

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