Page 81 of The Female

Gray runs a soothing hand down my cheek before tucking my hair behind my ear. I lean into his touch, comforted.

“It’s not okay.” I choke back a cry. “We raped him.”

I’ve been avoiding talking about what happened between the three of us, but the guilt is eating away at me. Aziel didn’t want us to touch him, and he went as far as to hit Gray the first few times he tried.

Just because he gave in at the end doesn’t mean it’s okay, and I feel nothing less than complete shame over the part I played in it. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but the more time that passes, the more I realize how terribly we acted.

Gray visibly hesitates as he watches me come apart, his mouth opening and closing as he searches for his following words.

“Charlie,” he eventually says, his voice hard. “We did not rape him. Aziel is a strong demon. If he didn’t want what was happening, he could have fought us all off or teleported away. This isn’t the first time we’ve attempted to calm his wrath using my lust, and I can assure you from experience he has no issues disappearing if he gets bored with our antics.”

I suck in a shaky breath.

I know he can teleport and could have easily gotten himself out of that situation if he’d wanted, but I still feel guilty. He’s at the pits right now, but the second he returns, I’ll apologize and hear the truth from his mouth.

Aziel may not like me, and I may be scared shitless of him, but if we’re going to live together, one of us needs to put in effort to be cordial. I thought it would be the older-than-dirt demon, but leave it to the twenty-five-year-old human to be the bigger person.

“Are you hungry?” Gray asks, stroking my cheek.

I’m not a big breakfast person, but after seeing how much food Gray has scarfed down these past few days, I know he’s asking more for himself.

“You eat more when you’re hungry,” I note.

Gray looks at me like I’ve grown three heads. “Yeah, that’s kind of how appetites work.”

I snort and shove at his chest before rolling out of bed. Gray begged me not to make him sleep on his own after our big fight, and I must admit I like cuddling with him.

“I mean when you’re hungry-hungry,” I clarify, pointing to his hardened length.

Gray frowns and drops his chin to look at it. I try not to appear too shocked as he curls his fingers around the base of himself and squeezes. He does this every morning, pawing at his dick like a horny, temperamental young boy before remembering it’s not normal for me and dropping it like it’s on fire.

It makes me wonder what his life was like before I arrived. Would he openly touch himself whenever the mood struck? Probably.

“Yeah, it’s a side effect. Don’t worry about it, though. I’m fine,” he says, releasing himself before sliding on a pair of underwear.

I frown, wanting to push the subject. “How long can you go without feeding?”

Gray shrugs, his eyes narrowing as he snaps the elastic band around his waist and heads to his closet. I follow.

“I told you I’m fine,” he repeats, his tone sharp.

“Gray.”

“Charlotte.”

I stomp into his closet and insert myself between him and his clothing. He frowns, but his eyes soften as he takes in my angry reaction. I don’t think it’s too much to want to understand his needs better.

Especially if he’s to be my boyfriend.

Running his hand through his hair, Gray lets out a shaky breath and lowers his face into my neck. He has to bend his knees to reach, and I push up on my tippy-toes to help.

“I can go about a week before getting hungry and irritable. After two or three, I’ll grow desperate and won’t be able to stop myself from, at a minimum, sneaking into your dreams,” he admits. “But please don’t be scared of me. I swear I’ll go to a brothel if I get too hungry.”

My heart thumps as I rip myself out of his arms. Does he still intend to feed off others? I step back into his clothing rack, my arms moving instinctively to cover my chest. I thought we discussed this and agreed to be exclusive. Other than Aziel and Silas.

Gray’s quick to backtrack as he realizes his mistake, his hands grabbing at my cheeks and forcing me to look up at him.

“It’s not like that, Charlie. I’m trying to be compassionate. I won’t have sex with anybody; I’ll just feed off what’s already happening there. This isn’t me being an asshole and feeding for pleasure. I need to do it to survive.”

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