Page 90 of The Female

He spits the wordfate, and I wince at the sheer hatred in his voice. Gray hardly seems to react to the derogatory tone and, if anything, looks to be holding back a laugh. He’s always so quick to defend Aziel and Silas, so I take it as a good sign he’s not upset.

Turning toward Silas, I’m happy to note he appears to be as unaffected as Gray.

Asmod and Valentine give me another slow onceover, their heated gazes evaluating and probably dissecting every flaw they see and imprinting it into memory. I refuse to let myself cower under their judgment, and I keep my spine straight until Asmod vanishes.

Valentine’s quick to follow, her body there one second and gone the next. I release an audible sigh when we’re left alone, relief flooding my system as my shoulders relax and my toes uncurl.

The two didn’t bother serving themselves food, and the shadows slide in and take their empty plates from the table.

Gray’s humming comes to an abrupt halt as the shadows move around us, his hand tightening around mine before he releases it and stands. I turn to him, shocked, as I notice the glare he’s shooting in Silas’s direction.

“It wouldn’t have killed you to sayweplease you,” Gray snaps.

Silas shrugs and takes a bite of food. He chews it painfully slow, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s stalling.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Gray says, storming out of the room.

I watch him leave. Gray’s sensitive about his ability to keep everybody in the house happy, and given his constant rejections whenever he tries, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he harbors genuine insecurities about it.

“Do people think all of us are together?” I ask.

Silas clears his throat and takes a sip of his drink. “I’d assume so, yes.”

“And they think that because the three of you have…” I pause as I search for the right words, “decided to bond with the same female?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. Gray’s made it more than clear he doesn’t care if I’m attracted to Silas or Aziel, but I thought that was just the incubus in him talking. He never said anything about them having some sort of plan to bond with the same female.

Do they intend for me to be that woman?

“We decided long ago that we would share a female when the time comes. Most people know that, but we’ve made it clear that we aren’t ready for one, yet. Gray was getting impatient, so we bought you to keep him occupied,” Silas says.

I clench my jaw and look away, not wanting Silas to see my budding tears. I understand my purpose is to keep Gray occupied for a couple of years, but it still hurts hearing how little I mean to them in the grand scheme of things.

“And I’m just the short-term entertainment,” I say.

I sound pitiful.

“Why have none of you taken a female before?” I continue to pry.

“When you live thousands of years, there isn’t a huge rush,” Silas lets out a dry laugh. “Aziel went overboard at the Lust party, and now everybody thinks you’re in the running to be our bonded mate. They want to throw their daughters into the ring before any of us bond with you and it’s too late.”

Silas rolls his eyes with a laugh, but he stops when he realizes I’m upset. His eyebrows furrow, and a second later he stands and sits in the chair previously occupied by Gray.

“Did Gray not tell you any of this?”

I shake my head, and Silas clenches his jaw before running a hand through his hair and turning to face me entirely.

“Of course he didn’t,” he mumbles to himself. “Look, it’s nothing you need to worry about. Gray loves you, and I assure you that we aren’t going to let anybody hurt you.”

He’s misunderstanding why I’m upset.

“What if I want to bond with Gray?” I ask.

My cheeks warm as I voice the question out loud. It’s an embarrassing thing to ask, especially since I don’t know Gray’s stance on the issue, but things are going well for us and I don’t think it’s a crazy thing to wonder about.

Bonds are a permanent soul tying, and they’re strong. If I bonded with Gray, I’d live as long as he does and maybe even gain some of his demonic abilities. I probably wouldn’t be able to teleport or anything, but I might have faster healing and better senses.

It would ruin their plan of finding a female to share when I die in sixty years, though.

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