Page 136 of The Female

“I can’t put myself before my people,” he whispers, the quiet words giving me my answer. “I will not bond with Charlie, but I’ll remain true to my word and protect her for as long as she lives. Even if you bond with her and start a family.”

I suck in a sharp breath and clear my throat, not enjoying how much of a goodbye this feels like. Aziel and I will always be bonded—that will never change—but that doesn’t mean we have to honor it. We don’t have to share the same female, even if that’s what I want.

“I do love you, Gray, and I’m willing to give you up if that’s what will make you happy.”

He runs his hands through my hair before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. In the hundred-something years we’ve known one another, he’s never held me like this. There have been the occasional hugs, but never anything so emotional.

Deep inside, I know this is the only time I’ll ever experience this, and I remain still and enjoy it while it lasts. We both know I’m going to choose Charlie over him.

I’ll tell her of my conversation with Aziel, and we can move forward with bonding. We can have one another with no strings attached.

“Thank you,” I eventually say.

The light brushing of lips across my temple is the only response I get.

33

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SILAS

MY CALLS CONTINUEto go unanswered, and I pull my phone away as Gray’s voicemail begins to drone on in my ear. I can’t imagine where he went that he has no cell service, and I hope Aziel didn’t convince him to go to the pits again.

The incubus was torn to bits afterward, and he refused to speak for an entire week.

I hang up my phone and set it on my desk with a quiet sigh. I didn’t anticipate they’d be gone this long, and I’m starting to grow worried for Charlie. A day or two is nothing to us, but it’s practically an eternity for her.

At least, that’s how she’s acting.

She hasn’t spoken to me since I forced her out of my bed and downstairs for breakfast, her anger pouring out in waves. She was even less happy when I made her eat a large portion of her food, my worry for her health turning me into Gray.

I don’t know how to feel about my constant desire to watch over her well-being. My nerves twist whenever I catch her doing something unsafe, and a small part of me hopes Aziel will return with the mindset of wanting to pursue Charlie.

I wouldn’t be upset.

I’ve been full of regret for pushing her away these past few weeks. My assumptions about her age and breed were wrong. Charlie’s more than proven she’s capable of making her own decisions, her near-constant arguing and bickering bringing me hope. I feared she’d never be able to do anything other than submit to us, but that’s not true.

It felt nice having her in my arms last night, and I wouldn’t mind having her there more often. I’m sure Gray will make a fuss when I tell him I want my own time with her, but he’ll adjust. There’s no way I will lie in his bed after the atrocities I’ve witnessed there, but I imagine we could fix up the unused wing of the house for the three of us to use.

I stand and head toward the library. Charlie’s been cooped up in there all day, reading as much as possible about the females.

She would’ve made a strong leader before the fall of the humans.

Despite her anger toward us for not saving more females as soon as we could have, that issue seems to have been put on the back burner as she focuses her attention and worries on Gray and Aziel.

Peering inside the room, I spot her lying on the couch with a book propped up on her chest. Her thumb rests inside her mouth, her jaw moving as she gnaws at the skin. My lips purse as she peels off a chunk and a tiny droplet of blood pebbles to the surface.

This is new, and I can’t lie and say it doesn’t alarm me. Humans are known to gravitate toward self-mutilation, which is especially dangerous when coupled with their weak bodies.

Charlie doesn’t sense my approach, and I make no effort to make myself known as I come up from behind and round the couch. Her big eyes dart toward me as I crouch next to her head and grab her wrist.

I tug her finger out of her mouth.

“Are you okay?” I ask, already knowing she’s going to lie.

She nods with a weak smile, probably still embarrassed about our night together. Her nerves are visible in both her scent and expressions whenever I’m near. I want to assure her there’s no reason to feel uncomfortable, but I’m sure acknowledging what happened will only make it worse.

“Have you heard from Gray?” she asks, setting down her book and propping herself on her elbows.

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