Page 74 of Shadow of Death

She moved, pulling me along with her. I was in a fog as I tried to keep it together. I didn’t take a full breath until we were in my bedroom and she shut the door.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

“I’m okay. Thank you for walking me up. I think I just want to go take a shower and crawl into bed now. I’m pretty tired.” I was strung so tight I could barely move.

She paused, looking as if she didn’t want to leave. As much as I appreciated it, she washisaunt. Not mine. And when I fell apart, I would be doing it alone.

“You will get past this,” she said.

I straightened, nodding. “I know. I’m fine. Really, I am. I’m just getting used to it. It’s just surprising, but I’m fine.” I kept nodding, the only movement I seemed capable of.

“If you need me, just ask.”

“Thank you, but I’m good.” I was nodding so much, plastering on a fake smile, that I probably looked like a bobblehead. Judging by the way she was looking at me, that might be a generous description.

She left, and I fell onto the bed. I wouldn’t cry for him again. He didn’t deserve another tear from me. I’d made an error. I’d trusted the wrong person—again. But now I knew, and if I had to build an iron heart, if that was what it took to survive, then that was what I’d do.

There was a knock at my door. Before I could answer, it opened and Kicks walked in. It was strange, because I usually recognized the sound of his approach. I’d probably been too busy wallowing.

I immediately got to my feet. “This is my room now. You don’t get to walk in whenever you want.”

He shut the door. “You wouldn’t have let me in if I knocked.”

I pointed at the door. “You’re right. Now get out.”

“I will in a minute, but first I need to speak to you.”

“That’s too bad for you. Get. Out.” I went to walk past him, but he blocked my way to the door.

“I know you’re heading out to a settlement with Varic tomorrow.”

Then he knew more than me, because this was the first I’d heard of it. “What I do is of no concern to you.”

“Except it is. I plan on going back to Arkansas soon, and I wanted to know what you’re planning on doing.”

He was as cold as ever, but there was something off I couldn’t put my finger on.

“Doing when? I’m stuck here, remember?”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think Arkansas is going to be a good fit for Charlie. I think you should go collect him,” he said, staring at me.

I literally swayed on my feet. It was as if he were trying to turn into the absolute worst person he could.

“Are you saying you want to kick him out of that pack too? Even Duncan, as despicable as he was, was willing to keep Charlie.”

“I was assuming you’d want to visit, and I don’t think the pack is a good place for you to be. You need to understand that I’ll probably take another mate, and I don’t want things to be awkward for her.”

I just stared at him. How could I have been so wrong about someone? Even with Duncan, there had been warning signs. With Kicks, I’d always been trying to shelter him from the horror of whatIwas when I should’ve been running fromhim.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get him out of your hair as soon as possible. We’ll be out of your cabin, your pack, and nowhere near you. Now get out.” By the time I was done, I was nearly screaming.

He didn’t move, just stood there.

“What is wrong with you? Getout.”

I walked to the door, and he didn’t try to stop me this time. I opened it and still he stood there, unmoving.

“What? What do youwant?” I said.

---