Page 43 of Shadow of Death

He couldn’t stand being near me, yet he was still protecting me.

Chapter Nineteen

Kicks was already awakewhen I got up the next morning. He hadn’t touched me once while we slept. This relationship was on life support, if not completely dead. He hated me. Was that really a surprise after what happened? Whether it was for him or not, I’d killed his father. How could I come back from that? I couldn’t.

“I brought you up some food,” he said, pointing to the nightstand beside me.

“Thanks.” I grabbed a patty of something and nibbled on it. Given the lack of food the last day or so, my appetite was lousy.

At least he wasn’t running out of the room to get away from me. Did it matter, though? Who was I kidding? We were done. There was no coming back from this. I’d tried to keep him at arm’s length for so long to protect him that I should’ve felt relief.

I didn’t.

He paused, cocking his head toward the door, listening to the sound of men’s footsteps heading this way.

“Get dressed,” Kicks said, clearly expecting trouble. I’d already been reaching for a pair of jeans before he spoke.

They knocked just as I threw a sweater over my t-shirt.

Kicks opened the door to two of Varic’s men. They always seemed to come in pairs.

“What?” he asked in the same tone he’d use to tell someone to go screw.

“Varic wants to speak to you,” Dicon said, trying to glance over Kicks’ shoulder to look at me. Kicks, both wider and taller, shifted to block his view.

“Then why areyouhere?” he asked.

“He wants you to meet him in his study. He says he’s looking to offer you a compromise.”

Kicks didn’t speak for a moment and then glanced back at me. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t open the door for anyone.”

I nodded. Anything that would give us a leg up was worth pursuing at this point.

I locked the door behind him, knowing he’d be listening for the click of metal sliding home. He might be upset with me, but he at least still cared what happened to me. That was something.

It didn’t take him long to return.

“Well?” I asked when he wasn’t forthcoming the second the door shut.

“He doesn’t touch you or interfere in your life until we can figure out what happened to our father. Of course I told him again that it wasn’t you. In the meantime, you aren’t to leave this building. You can go about of your own free will inside as long as you don’t approach anyone, unless they ask you to. You’re to keep your distance for the safety of the pack otherwise.”

“That doesn’t sound bad.” I could slip out easily enough under those conditions if Varic didn’t put someone at every door. Would he do that? Probably. Kicks had said the place was essentially on lockdown.

“It’s not as bad as trying to break out of a cell below,” I said.

Kicks tilted his head, as if he wasn’t quite sure he agreed. “The only reason he is willing to do this is because I can counter his claim to the pack. To keep up that pretense, I’ll have to step up to a degree. I’ll be expected to do certain duties and help out.”

He leaned against the bureau, his arms crossed. None of this sounded bad, and yet here he was looking as if this wasallbad.

“This sounds workable,” I said.

He nodded, but it felt like a weird, noncommittal gesture. Part of me didn’t want to press him. At least we were speaking. But if there was a problem, I needed to know. If he was going to hate me, questioning him now wasn’t going to change that.

“What’s the issue?” I finally asked.

“I think he’s doing it to get me out of here. You’ll be alone quite a bit.”

“I might not be at my full capabilities, but you know I’m far from an easy target at this point. Death might let me break a leg, but she’s not going to let anyone kill me.” I spoke like I had assurances, but I was beginning to doubt the situation myself. How long would she have left me rotting in that cell? If she could find someone else, I would be useless to her. I just had to hope that wasn’t the case until we got out of here.

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