Page 41 of Shadow of Death

He was talking a tough game, but there were tiny movements—the quickest quiver of his lip, a tremor in his hand. They were so fast and subtle, I wasn’t sure most would pick up on them. He was afraid of Kicks.

“You want to dictate what happens to my mate?” Kicks said. “Then yes. Let’s go. Now.”

The room went utterly silent. Go? Did he mean to fight? They were near the same size, and it wasn’t clear who would win. My brain couldn’t accept anyone getting the upper hand on Kicks, but my heart feared even the slightest chance of him getting hurt. Plus, Varic was vicious. If there was a dirty way to fight, he’d use it.

Aunt Elara stepped forward, putting a palm on each of their chests. “I think a compromise could be brokered. There’s no reason this needs to come to bloodshed yet. Perhaps, Varic, you give some leniency where Piper is concerned until we knowwhat actually happened. Kicks, you don’t challenge Varic’s claim while things are unsettled?”

“I can’t let her just run loose through the castle when we don’t know what she’s capable of,” Varic said, but his tone had calmed a bit, as if he were satisfied taking a compromise, maybe even preferred it to fighting Kicks.

“She’s my mate,” Kicks said. “Even if she does end up being a traitor, she falls under my domain. I won’t have anyone else interrogating her.”

“I’ll give you space, for now,” Varic said, continuing to back down.

Kicks marched over, nearly bulldozing through the guards as he walked up to me, grabbing my arm.

“She’s mine to question or dispose of as I see fit,” he said. “No one else touches her.” I was pulled out of the room with him.

If Varic had any objection, he wasn’t saying it as we walked out of the room.

Kicks pulled me past all the shifters trying to get a view of us until we were in our bedroom and he slammed the door. He immediately let go of my arm then turned, giving me his back as if he were trying to compose himself.

I wasn’t sure whether to sit or stand, pace or run. Kicks’ agitation was palpable, and I was at a loss. I’d seen him upset, but this situation was beyond anything either of us could’ve expected. I’dkilledhis father. This was new territory and definitely not a place I’d ever thought was possible. If there had been any other choice…

He finally said, “When did you know my father was the target?”

“Not until seconds before I killed him.”

He turned and stared at me.

I held his stare. It was the truth. If he didn’t believe me, there was nothing I could do. I wouldn’t beg. I didn’t regret my choice and never would, even if it meant he’d hate me from here on out.

“You didn’t know until that morning, right as he walked in?” His voice was sharp. I couldn’t tell if there was doubt. But it didn’t matter how many ways he asked, or how many times—the truth wouldn’t change.

“I didn’t know until that moment. You can choose to believe me, trust what I’m saying or not, but that’s what happened.”

Kicks’ jaw locked, the muscles of his forearms tensing. He broke eye contact, moving toward the window and staring out at the night sky. The silence between us stretched on, so heavy it was getting hard to breathe. My nerves were fraying, my mind racing. Did he believe me? Or was he calculating his next move, deciding whether to walk out, walk away from me, or throw me back to his brother’s whims?

The silence was akin to torture, yet I was afraid to press him for answers. The thought that terrified me the most? That he hated me.

“Why didn’t you say something to me? Why just act? Why knock me out?” His voice was rough, as if even uttering those words was painful.

I’d already replayed it in my mind so many times, trying to dissect my thoughts through the overwhelming panic of that moment. When Death had appeared, and I knew what she wanted from me, there was a surge of adrenaline and utter fear that she’d harm Kicks. It was hard to remember that moment and not feel sick. I hadn’t been thinking logically at all. I’d known in my gut what needed to be done, and I’d acted.

“We were sitting there, and your father came in,” I said. “Death appeared immediately afterward, standing right beside you. She said it was you or him. She hovered over you and said she was going to kill you if I refused. To me, it was as if she wereholding a gun to your head. I didn’t think. I just did what she wanted.”

He closed the distance between us, stopping just inches away. “But why would you knock me out?”

“I didn’t. That was her.” There was a brief flicker in his eyes that might’ve been relief, but I refused to give him half-truths at this point. “I would’ve done it myself if she hadn’t. I wasn’t going to let you stop me. I wasn’t going to let her kill you.”

“Why would you want to do that? It took away any choiceIhad to control the situation.”

“You couldn’t have stopped me.” I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise.

“They said you ran for the door. Were you planning on coming back?” His voice was raw. The last time I’d seen him like this, blood had been spilled.

“I had to leave.” I turned to put some space between us.

Kicks grabbed my shoulders, spinning me back to face him. “Would you have just disappeared? After everything we’ve been through, you didn’t trust me enough to at least help you get out of here?”

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