Page 4 of Shadow of Death

He stopped walking. “What is that supposed to mean?”

I stopped as well, turning to stare at him. “Just that you have more worldly experience than I do. It’s just the way it is, I guess.” I shrugged. He could shrug off our kiss? I could shrug off his annoyance. Seemed like a fair trade to me.

“You wanted to talk to me about what a pig I am? Is that your point? Because you didn’t seem too repulsed by me yesterday.”

“Yesterday was a mistake. Clearly I wasn’t in my right mind.”

He smiled and nodded. “Yes, because why would you have kissed such a pig?”

“You’re the one who got all handsy and was tossing me onto the table and standing in between my legs. Although, again, that’s probably an everyday occurrence for you. Things like that justhappenwhen you walk in a room.” I threw up my hands.

“It was because unless I nail you down to one spot, you won’t discuss anything. You just carry on like there isn’t anything to discuss. You won’t even acknowledge there’s a problem.”

“If anyone knows there’s problems, it’s me, and I don’t need a reminder from you. I’m handling my shit the way I need to.” I could feel the darkness in me getting riled up, as if it fed on the tension between us. Liked it. Wanted it to grow into something else.

“Handling? You call what you’re doinghandling?”

His gaze locked on mine, and I could hear his breathing growing ragged, as if he knew the detour my brain and body had just taken.

I took a step back, and not because I was afraid of him. It was what I might do to him soon.

“Look, I was coming here to make peace. I don’t enjoy fighting with you.” Truth was that I dreaded it. I held up myhands in surrender, knowing that the more I let my emotions run high, the less control I’d have.

“Then don’t just accept whatever is going to happen,” he said, as if it were that simple.

“Oh, okay. I’ll just tell Death I’m done with her.” Come to terms with the darkness? Get some kind of control of this thing growing in me? I couldn’t even find the words to speak of it, let alone come up with a plan.

“Shutting me out isn’t helping anything. I don’t need protecting from you.”

Didn’t he, though? I wasn’t so sure of that. I took another step back, and he turned, looking off to the trees and the river as we both tried to reset.

He took a deep breath. “I’ve got to go run a trade tomorrow. I’ll be gone for two days. We’ll talk when I get back. Just…don’t do anything stupid or rash until I return, okay?”

I nodded, knowing exactly why he’d say that. I was like a raw ball of nerves. The way I was acting, he probably thought I might run off as soon as he turned his back.

“Okay. We’ll talk when you get back,” I agreed. I didn’t know what we’d talk about, but it was better than yelling. I was feeling too weak today to leave things as they were, having him look as if he wanted to avoid speaking to me at all.

He nodded and then headed back toward the mill. I walked farther along the well-worn path beside it, hoping the air and exercise might clear my head.

What is it you so fear I’m doing to you other than making you better?Death asked.

I tried not to jump at her sudden appearances, but it was hard when I dreaded them so much.

“I don’t want to be like you,” I said softly, facing the river so no one would see me and think I was talking to myself.

Why? You were so boring before. Now at least you have a little fire in you. Not that meek girl who was idiotic enough to listen to Duncan.

“I’m holding up our deal, but I didn’t agree to let you change me.”

Such potential and yet so blind. It’s a wonder I bother with you at all.

She bothered with me because I was the only one who could hear her. Shehadto bother with me—not that I’d say it. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her today, or tomorrow, or ever.

Chapter Three

The kids were running aroundand playing the next afternoon, buzzing around me as I headed to go get more flour from the miller. No onelovedmy bread, but they were eating it, and it felt good to contribute.

I tilted my head back, taking a deep breath, and picked up the scent of strangers. I was too new to these senses to gauge how far away or how many there were, but they were human. I should’ve only been picking up the smell of shifters.

---