Page 63 of Shadow of Death

“There are conditions on who you can choose. You must care for the person, and we will know if you’re lying.”

And there it was. The unpleasantbutI’d expected. The sick twist that made this fit.

“And if I don’t, I die,” I said.

“That is correct.” He stood there, all high and mighty, his arms crossed and ready to dole out what he thought fit. “Do you have a name, or shall we begin?”

This was an impossible test. There was no name to offer and I was at my breaking point. If this was the way the tests were going to go, it was only a matter of time before they killed me anyway. “You might as well just kill me now, because I won’t give you a name.”

Instantly, my wrists and ankles were manacled to a stake in the ground. Charon was going to kill me. If he didn’t, a horde of faceless gods would. It was almost easier that I hadn’t expected this tonight. The surprise helped me keep my dignity, at least for now. Kicks would figure out what had happened to me. He’d know I hadn’t wanted to leave him, or Charlie. He would make sure Charlie knew I never wanted to leave him. It wasn’t a goodbye, but it would have to be enough.

The sky blazed with light as a bolt hit me with a shock so intense that I dropped to my knees and gasped for breath. Once I got some air back into my lungs, I stared up at Charon.

“You might call yourself a god, but you are evil. All of you are.” I made a point of looking at the audience obscured by darkness.

Another bolt lit the sky right before hitting me, worse than the first. Pain shot through my body and I writhed on the ground, gasping. The only positive thing about this was I wouldn’t last long. If I was going to die, it would be fast.

“Do you have a name?” Charon asked, hovering over me.

I wished that a list of names didn’t run through my mind, but they did. I thought of them, and then imagined each person’s face. But I didn’t say one. If this was my time, maybe it was meant to be. Maybe I wasn’t meant to walk this earth anymore. Kicks would care for Charlie. The whole pack would. Kicks would move on once I was gone. Charlie would grow up and have a full life.

Charon stepped closer, his boots right in front of my face where I was lying in a ball on the ground.

“What about Evangeline?” he asked. “Don’t you remember how she looked at you with fear? Would it really be so bad if she died?”

If she’d stared at me in fear, it had been deserved. I thought back to the death I’d caused. Only someone insanewouldn’thave feared me.

“No.”

I struggled to my knees, refusing to remain completely bowed.

Another shock, this one stronger, more agonizing than the last, brought me down again.

“What about your father?”

“He’s alive?” I whispered.

“Yes. Think of how horribly he disappointed you. Is his life really worth saving?”

Maybe Charon was right, and it wasn’t. But what would be left of who I was if I said his name? Maybe he was weak, but did he deserve my fate? Was it worth living if you hated the person you were? How much would you give in order to survive? Wouldyou crawl on your hands and knees in order to take another breath?

No. I wouldn’t.

“Say his name. Choose, and the pain will end,” Charon said.

Another jolt shot through me, this one so strong that I was unsure how I wasn’t dead.

“What if I offered you the choice of anyone in the pack?” Charon said. “Any innocent? Someone you weren’t close to, perhaps?”

Butinnocent. Why did I have more of a right to live than them?

I felt the tears on my cheeks, knowing how my death would hurt Charlie and Kicks. But I couldn’t give him a name.

Suddenly my wolf was there, licking my face. If my hands weren’t manacled, I would’ve hugged him.

Thank you,I said silently.

He licked my face again, as if he’d heard, as if he knew I needed his strength to get through this.

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