Page 18 of Shadow of Death

Kicks walked over, leaning on the back of the couch, looking down at me. “We don’t have to leave this minute. If she wanted you to go badly enough, she’d heal you.”

Little did he know that she was using this toguaranteehe’d be with me. Why help me when she could torture me and get her way?

I wasn’t willing to wait. Knowing what was at stake, it wasn’t an option. I wanted my debt to be done, if possible. I was tired of this hanging over my head.

“I don’t want to wait. It doesn’t matter what her timeline is. I want this done. Whatever I have to do, I’ll deal with it to get this over with.”

Whatever I have to do.If that wasn’t aridiculousway to phrase the death spree I was about to go on…

In truth, I didn’t even care about taking out her targets. They’d killed most of the world. If anyone deserved death, it was them. What bothered me was living on her timeline with her plan that I didn’t get to know. I wanted a life. I wanted to know if I’d be capable of having a human existence after this or if the darkness inside me would grow out of control with the next killing spree.

Kicks was still staring at me but not saying a word.

“I’ll never make it on my own now anyway. Why would you want me to postpone it to when I’d be able to go alone?” Was he having second thoughts? I wouldn’t blame him for a second.

He leaned down over the couch. “Because I don’t want you to go at all.”

“That’s not an option.” I wasn’t breaking this deal, not with the stakes at hand.

“I think it is,” he said, ignoring that his life was on the line.

“It’s not.” I turned away, refusing to look at him.

He moved in front of the couch, leaning on the arm beside my head. “Except it is. You can decide not to go. You can stay here with Charlie.” He wasn’t budging from in front of me.

I couldn’t walk away. There was no avoiding this conversation, and it was my least favorite subject, maybe ever.

“I do that and she’ll kill you. You know that,” I said.

“Then the deal would be over, wouldn’t it?” His stare was deadly serious. “I should be dead. I would’ve died if not for this bargain that I never wanted.”

“Well,Iwanted it.” There was no way I’d ever put his existence in jeopardy, ever. Not Kicks. There wasn’t a world for me that didn’t have him in it.

“Why is it that you’re willing to trade your life for mine and yet you can’t push me away fast enough?” he asked.

If I gave him even an inch, we’d be entwined on the couch in seconds. It would be heaven, and yet to then do what I had to do would be hell.

“This has nothing to do with protecting you. I made a deal.”

He shook his head, as if my lie disappointed him. But he straightened and moved a few feet away. He had no idea how difficult it was to keep my distance from him, to not succumb to the urges he drove in me.

“The people I’m going to kill deserve it. This isn’t iffy. They do, and there isn’t a person alive today that would disagree. Sowhat would you have me do? Sacrifice your life for theirs and break my word?”

He shook his head but walked over and dropped into the chair, accepting the inevitable.

“When do you want to leave?” he said.

“As soon as possible.” I’d rather jump off the cliff and hope to survive than prolong the torture of thinking about what lay ahead.

I had to leave Charlie now, while he seemed okay with it. If he started to waver, so might I. I just needed this all over with.

Chapter Eight

Buddie walkedinto the cabin without knocking, dropping his bags by the bedroom door. He had stepped up to stay here and seemed the safer bet as far as Charlie getting exposed to anything R-rated. It wasn’t that Buddie was a saint, but he was discreet. Rastin, on the other hand, didn’t seem to think there was any problem with having a revolving line of women in and out of the cabin.

Buddie beelined it to the kitchen. “We got any snacks in here? I’m starving. What kind of stash do we have to work with?”

“I made you those.” I pointed to the basket of biscuits sitting on the table. Baking was becoming my go-to when I couldn’t sleep, which was a common occurrence lately.

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