Page 73 of The Most Wanted Witch

My spine straightened. “That subject is closed.”

“I’m not suggesting you leave. After today, I’m convinced it’s too late anyway. There are those that are hard to hide and others that are impossible. You fall into the latter at this point. This die has been cast. What I’m saying is stop being soft or you’ll end up dead.”

Soft? Did he think any part of me wanted to go to those meetings? It was the hardest thing I did. He didn’t need any more ammunition to load the gun that would blow this whole deal sky high.Softwould’ve been agreeing with him and then letting him deal with the fall out.Softwas having someone walk me across the street every day.

“I’m on the hook with Xazier, and whether or not you want to admit it, I saved everyone’s ass. I don’t need to hear how I should toughen up. As to Lou, deal or no deal, if I stop speaking with him, it’ll set off alarms. You can judge me all you want, but we would’ve already lost Xest if I hadn’t done what I’d done.”

“While you may believe that, it doesn’t make it true.”

He turned his attention, or at least his gaze, back to the window, like a man who wasn’t used to having to compromise. According to the deference I saw around Xest, and Oscar’s chat the other day, it was beyond obvious that he didn’t get much pushback.

Oscar was crazy enough to think my unwillingness to bend to Hawk was why we’d be well suited? If he saw Hawk’s locked jaw and bulging veins right now, or my clenched fists, he’d understand how foolish that notion was.

“Tell me one thing and I’ll never give you grief about your need to sacrifice yourself again.” Hawk locked eyes on me.

“What?” As much as I feared where this was going, I couldn’t very well decline now.

“Why do you think you’re worth so little?”

“I don’t—”

“Either answer honestly or don’t answer at all, but let’s skip the bullshit.” He shook his head and looked away.

“Let’s not forget you wanted nothing more than to get rid of me, remember?” He was awfully quick to judge my actions. What about his own?

He pushed off the window and came to stand before me. “I was never trying to get rid of you. I was trying to shield you because I saw your worth. You’re the only one who doesn’t see it.”

I huffed. “That’s right. I forgot. I’m worth so much that you either try to get rid of me or act like I’m the only one who can save Xest.

“Seriously, you and the rest of this place think I can save something when I might end up being the thing you should get rid of. If I didn’t think you weren’t so confused about what I am, I probably wouldn’t tell you. I’d be too afraid you’d kill me, but you’re so intent on keeping your belief that it doesn’t even matter.” As soon as those words left my mouth, I wished there was a way to suck them back in. I didn’t really want to die. Planting the idea that he was better off killing me was perhaps the stupidest thing I’d ever said, and I’d had quite a few stupid moments in my life.

He was still standing over me, silent. Should I run? Had my little speech made him see that light? When I finally looked up, there was definitely realization in his expression, but he didn’t appear to be on the verge of attack.

“You think that’s what’s going on? I’m dug into a position and won’t let go? I’ve already invested too much and have convinced myself, so I’m blind? Because I’ll tell you right now, that’s not the case.” He shook his head and crossed his arms. “Is that why you offered yourself up as collateral? Why you’re so determined to be angry with me? Easier to keep a buffer because one day I’ll figure out that you’re evil?”

I cleared my throat, letting out a forced laugh. “You’re getting a little ahead of yourself with this psychoanalyzing crap. I’m trying to help you out, is all.”

“I know exactly what I’m doing.” Hawk sighed. “Don’t go back to the hill alone.”

“That I can agree with.” It was the easiest agreement we’d ever made. I got up from the couch. We’d hit the witching hour, where all conversations would dissolve back into fighting if I stayed. I made my way out of the room before our high note finished with a low note.

Gillian was walking upstairs as I made my way down. She glanced up beyond me.

“Is Hawk up there?”

“Yes. He’s all yours.” I gestured back to direction I’d just come from.

“Oh. Another fight?” She could barely hide her smile.

“Isn’t there always?” I smiled for her and softly laughed, giving her license as well. Then I walked away from her.

* * *

Hawk walked by me, but instead of ignoring me, he watched me. I wrote the wrong note for the third time in a row. I needed him to leave, or at least go back to ignoring me the way he had been. This constant feeling of awareness was doing me in.

It seemed like no matter where he was in the office, his attention was on me. It was like a switch had been tripped yesterday. I wasn’t certain where the switch was or how to turn it back off, but I was going to screw up work if he didn’t cut it out.

Bibbi walked over and crouched beside my desk, resting her forearms on it as she leaned in. “What’s going on?”

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