Page 17 of A Virgin for the Cruel Duke

Selina was looking at her, her eyes ablaze with anger and Elizabeth could not think of what she had done to get this reaction.

“You do this every time,” Selina said forcefully. “We cannot move or speak without you going quiet and mournful and sulking as though it is us who are the villains persecuting you!”

“I assure you I don’t…”

Selina cut her off. “You do! You wouldn’t even come eat with us without Stephen forcing you to, I heard how he had to order you to come. And you make no conversation no matter how much we try to make you feel welcome. You sit there and you suffocate us and I have had enough of it.”

“Selina,” Stephen said warningly. “Stop this.”

“No!” she got out of the coach and Elizabeth followed, full of confusion and not a little anger. Why couldn’t they see that all she was doing was trying to be polite to them, trying to keep them happy and not to overstep!

“Lady Selina,” she said as evenly as she could. “Do you think your current behavior is friendly? I attempted conversation and you rounded on me, you cannot be surprised that I am not pleased with your treatment!”

“We will have this out,” Selina said, rounding on Elizabeth. “Have we called you out for coming from a family that murdered our parents? Have I told you how my first season I couldn’t focus on any of my suitors because my older brother was trying to get himself killed? Have I railed at you for Herbert’s near miss with death? What is it?”

“You act as though I have been responsible for any of those things,” Elizabeth retorted, quivering with fear and anger. “I haven’t done anything to you!”

“No, but you haven’t done anything for us either,” Herbert said, striding up from the house and standing with his sister, aligning himself against her. “You haven’t made any effort to reach out to us. You avoid us at every turn.”

“Stop this!” Stephen stepped forwards and Elizabeth was startled to find him standing next to her, supporting her. “I have spoken on this before and I do not want to have to do so again. You will respect my wife in my house!”

CHAPTER 8

“No,” Elizabeth said, barely knowing what she was doing. Her mouth was moving before she could think things through. It was something she was completely unused to and she did not know what would happen next.

She looked at her husband, standing next to her and aligned against his own family and then she looked at his siblings, Herbert and Selina, resentful, rebellious, angry.

This was a kind house before she had come to it. A house of laughter and friendship. It felt wrong on a level that seeped to her bones that the family should be split because of her. It felt like something that her father would laugh over.

Squaring her shoulders she stepped away from Stephen and towards Herbert and Selina, noticing their wary expressions. “They do not have to respect me, Stephen. I haven’t earned their respect. I did not mean to cause offense but I see that I have, andthere can be no healing of wounds with no acknowledgement that they exist.”

She took a breath, her heart thudding in her chest. It was hard to be open and vulnerable, to risk mockery and disdain. She was scared, she was hurt and angry. She hated her own family in that moment, hated how they cursed her every footstep. Her future was tarred because of the name she had been born into and it didn’t seem fair.

“We don’t speak about the feud,” she said slowly. “I think that’s a mistake. We all know that the reason our marriage even happened was to bring a unity between the Wilkins and Barnes families, but no one has acknowledged that in recent years one family has suffered more than the other.”

Even Selina said nothing. Everyone was looking at her and the silence was so deep that it felt as though the earth beneath the estate was listening too. The sky was clear and blue above, the wind had died down and there were no servants coming out to greet them or bother them.

Elizabeth was aware, sudden and painful, of how small she was in the face of this ancient blood-shed, the wars that stretched back centuries. She didn’t feel like she was a part of it. She had no ill-will towards the Wilkins family because the Barnes family had never made her feel like she belonged to them.

She had no nightmares from fearing her brother or father might not return, no trauma wondering when the next upset mightcome or from fearing she might lose another loved one at any time.

But even though she had never seen these people as her blood enemy, that was not how they saw her. To them she was a reminder of everything that had been done to them, someone who meant them ill-will, perhaps even harm.

It struck her through the heart and gave her the strength to keep speaking. “I cannot fix the wounds that my family has dealt to yours with an apology. It would be futile to believe that my words could begin to match the harm that you have suffered, but in good conscience I cannot be silent and I must speak from my heart. My family has killed those you love, taken family from you before their time and pursued you with duels and insults no matter where you go. It is cruel and abominable what they have done. I have no excuses, no understanding for why, no pride in their actions. I am sorry for the way that they have hurt you. I wish I did not constantly remind you of what you have lost.”

Everyone was still staring at her, but they no longer looked as though they were preparing to battle each other. Herbert looked wary but surprised, while Selina looked as though she were considering Elizabeth’s words very carefully.

Elizabeth did not dare look back to see what Stephen looked like, not until she was done. She was not sure she could finish if she saw that he disapproved of her speaking out when he was trying to take control of the situation.

“I would like to be friendly with you all. I have longed for it, in fact. I am not very sure what to do at so merry a table, so I ask that you forgive my reticence. I will try to better meet your friendship with my own, if you will let me.”

Selina dashed forwards and took her hands in her own, her face serious but a softening in her expression. “You shame me with your sincerity. Let us both turn over new leaves and try to forge a new path.”

“Well said, Selina,” Herbert added, nodding to Elizabeth from where he was standing. While Selina looked to Elizabeth to be far less hostile, there was still a coolness to Herbert, a wariness that she feared she would never break through. “We can all try out this peace thing going forwards I think. Like Stephen has been telling us to.”

Elizabeth glanced back to Stephen, worried that she would find she had once again misstepped in her attempts to be the wife that he expected. He was looking at her intently, his eyes sharp and assessing but there was no anger in his face.

“Now you have come to your senses, both of you go inside,” he said to Herbert and Selina. “I will speak with my wife alone.”

---