Page 257 of Daddy's Naughty List

Ben reached out for her, stroking her smooth arm. "I don't want to. Believe me.”

“But . . . the carnival.”

“I know. I’m so sorry, Lulu. The carnival is so nearly ready, though. You don’t need me to finish it, Lulu. You’ve been the driving force behind it this whole time.”

“I wanted to enjoy it with you. To make the most of our . . . last days together.”

“I wanted that too,” he told her. “But I have to prioritize right now." He rested his forehead against hers. Had he really just said that? God, what an asshole he was being. He hated every word that had just come out of his mouth.

“I understand,” she said softly. “It’s not always possible to live in the moment. Not when the future is at stake.”

“Exactly,” he replied grimly. “That’s exactly right.”

Even though they were both in agreement, neither of them were smiling.

Chapter Eleven

Lulu

Lulu sat at the big wooden desk in the Nursery, colorful papers and glitter-glue scattered before her. She gnawed on the end of a pencil, her brow furrowed as she attempted to finalize the Christmas carnival plans. The usual giggles and chatter of her Little friends echoed from down the hall, but even their merriment couldn't fill the Ben-shaped void she felt.

With a sigh, she slumped back in her chair, hugging Flopsy tight to her chest. "It's just not the same without Daddy Ben here, is it Flopsy?" she murmured, nuzzling the soft fur. "He was our teammate.”

Lulu's mind wandered to their last moments together, before he headed back to Texas. Strong arms enveloping her naked body, woodsy cologne tickling her nose as he promised he'd be back as soon as he could. Then he was gone, off to wrangle permits and fight for his dream ranch.

"I know it's silly to miss him this much already," Lulu admitted to Flopsy with a sniffle. "I always knew it would be temporary. And he's gotta take care of grown-up stuff. But the ranch feels so lonely without him."

She gave herself a little shake. Everyone was counting on her to make this carnival the most magical yet. Lulu grabbed a purple marker and began sketching out the running order for the carnival with renewed determination. The switching on of the lights, the peppermint stick treasure trail, the storybook reading. . . Maybe if she poured her whole heart into it, it would hurt a little less.

As she worked, a single tear plopped onto the paper, smearing the ink. Lulu hastily wiped at her eyes. "No more crying," she ordered herself. "Daddy wouldn't want me to be sad. We're gonna make him proud, Flopsy. The merriest Christmas carnival ever!"

A sad thought entered her mind.

He’s not your Daddy anymore.

And then another one.

You’ll never see him again.

And then an even worse one.

He never really cared about you in the first place. You were just a bit of holiday fun. Fun that’s well and truly over.

Flopsy didn’t say anything, but she knew that he wanted her to pull herself together. That the whole carnival was depending on her. Without Ben here, the responsibility was hers and hers alone.

Squaring her small shoulders, Lulu dove back into her plans, Ben's encouraging smile fixed firmly in her mind. She'd be brave. She’d changed since coming to the ranch. She wasn’t someone who hid in the shadows anymore. She was in charge of her own destiny.

So, to distract herself from the pain of the present, Lulu threw herself into the carnival preparations with gusto. She flitted about the ranch like a Christmas fairy, spreading cheer and glitter in equal measure. Under her direction, the woodland around the Maple Cabin transformed into a wonderland of red and green, with garlands of tinsel draped from every rafter.

"A little to the left!" she called out to Millie, who was precariously balanced atop a ladder hanging mistletoe. "Perfect! Now every pony can get smooches. Especially Strawberry, my favorite girl."

Millie laughed. “You really do have a thing for Strawberry, huh?”

“Totally,” Lulu quipped. “I’m not saying I’mgoingto marry a horse, but if I had to, then Strawberry would be my choice.”

The Littles laughed together. It felt good to know that Lulu was capable of finding humor even in her darkest moments. She was stronger than she thought.

Zoey giggled as she helped Lulu string up colorful lights. "You're a regular Santa's little helper, Lulu-belle. This place looks more festive than the North Pole!"

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