Page 88 of Essence of his Soul

“So, what? You’re going to marry Malcolm instead?” she shot back.

I rolled onto my back with a groan, staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers. “I’m not marrying him either.”

“Then why is there an announcement in the morning paper?”

“What?” My eyelids flew open. “What paper?”

“We only have one local paper.The Delaware News Journal,” she replied, sounding way too smug for my liking.

I shot upright in bed, my heart racing. “How could thathappen?”

Tamara snorted like she couldn’t believe I was even asking. “Let me guess. It probably had something to do with Malcolm proposing and you accepting his grandma’s ring,” she said, lacing every word with sarcasm.

I kicked the covers off with a huff. Why did I always have to tell Tamara everything? “But I didn’t say yes,” I argued, even though it sounded weak, even to me.

“You didn’t say no either,” she snapped back, and damn it, she was right.

I let out a long sigh, pressing a palm to my forehead. I’d made a complete mess of things. “I was planning to talk to Malcolm when he returns.”

“Well, he’s due back today. And wait until Mom sees this,” Tamara continued, clearly enjoying herself. “You know she and Dad still read the paper every morning. Goodness, Essence! You shouldn’t have accepted his ring in the first place. How hard was it to say no?”

Harder than you’ll ever know, I thought and closed my eyes momentarily. Why was my life spinning out of control so fast? “What does the announcement say?” I asked, bracing myself for the worst.

Tamara cleared her throat dramatically before reading. “Let’s see. ‘Mr. and Mrs. Cole would like to announce the engagement of their son, real estate attorney Malcolm Cole, and his fiancée, Essence Monroe. The couple plan to wed next fall in South Carolina.’”

“How could I be so stupid?” I murmured to myself, the weight of it all crashing down on me. I’d wanted to spare Malcolm’s feelings, but instead, I’d given him false hope. And now he’d gone and told his parents everything before I could set things straight.

This whole situation was a disaster. I groaned, praying thatMark didn’t see it.

* * *

I woke up with my head pounding, the hangover hitting me like a freight train. Last night’s drinks caught up with me, but I needed to clear my head, so I headed to IHOP for breakfast. I parked the car, stepped out into the freezing morning air, and hurried into the restaurant, hoping some food and coffee would help me think straight.

The hostess took me to a small table in the corner, away from the morning crowd. I ordered pancakes and sausage, then sat back, sipping my coffee while I tried to sort through the mess I’d gotten myself into. I had forty-eight hours before I had to leave for Texas, and Essence still wasn’t speaking to me. I’d screwed up bad, and I knew it. But I couldn’t leave Delaware without making this right.

The truth was, I loved her—deep, real love—but I hadn’t told her yet. I thought it would be obvious that my actions would show her, but maybe that wasn’t enough. I needed to confess my feelings and lay it all out there. Either she would believe me, or she wouldn’t, but I had no choice at this point. I had to take that chance.

As I was sitting there, a couple at the table next to me got up to leave, and I noticed they left their newspaper behind. I grabbed it, hoping to distract myself, maybe find a place to take Essence for New Year’s Eve, and show her how serious I was.

The waitress returned with my food, and as I reached for the syrup, my hand froze.

Right there, staring back at me from the society section, was the one thing I never wanted to see.

Essence Monroe and Malcolm Cole—Engaged.

The words felt like a punch to the groin. Essence was engaged to Malcolm. Official.

I sat there, staring at the paper, not even noticing the food in front of me. It felt like the world had stopped spinning for a second, like everything I’d been holding onto slipped through my fingers.

She was really going to marry that clown.

I thought about all the moments I had to tell her how I felt, how I’d put it off, thinking I had more time. Thinking I could fix this. Now, I was sitting here with a plate of pancakes, and my whole world was slipping away.

* * *

After I hung up the phone, I loaded Tyler into the car and headed to the convenience store on the corner. I needed to see the announcement with my own eyes. The second I got back, I turned straight to the social section, and there it was—the engagement announcement staring back at me like a slap in the face.

Malcolm and I,engaged? Part of me wanted to tear that paper to shreds right then and there, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Mark. What would he say if he saw it?

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