Page 86 of Essence of his Soul

He threw his hands up, finally admitting defeat. “You’re right. I messed up. I’m sorry. I should have been honest.”

“I was stupid to think you wanted me.” My voice broke as I stared at him, my heart-shattering. “But deep down, I knew… I knew the only reason why you were marrying me was because of Tyler!” I was shaking. My chest was heaving with a mix of hurt and rage.

“Sweetheart, he is not the only reason. You know how I feelabout you,” Mark said. “Just calm down. Have a seat, and let me explain.” I yanked my hand away when he reached for it.

I shook my head, the tears spilling over now. “You want to know why this won’t work, Mark? Besides being ‘cheaper to keep her,’ we don’t have trust. And without trust, there’s no love. And without love, there’s no us.”

“That’s not true,” he said, stepping closer, desperate now.

“It is true!” I cried, my voice cracking again. I loved this man, but he had used me. Lied to me.

“No, it isn’t,” he countered. “If you would just give me a chance to explain.”

“So, you can lie to me some more?” I glared at him.

“Dammit, you’ve got it all wrong!” Mark’s frustration boiled over, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t about to listen to more lies.

“Mark, you the phone call on speaker! I heard the conversation with my own ears.” My voice was low but firm.

“Essence, you only heard part of the conversation.”

“As far as I’m concerned, I heard enough.” I slipped the ring off my finger and tossed it onto the bed. “I can’t marry you.”

Mark cringed at the sight of the ring leaving my hand.

“Sweetheart, please listen.” Mark tried to reach for me, but I jumped back, shaking my head.

“Mark, please. Just go.”

He stared at me briefly before saying, “Essence, give me a chance to explain.”

“I don’t want to hear it. I’ve had it with the lies.”

He reached for my hand. “Would you—”

“Get out of my house!” I screamed, pushing his hand away.

Mark stood there for a long moment, staring at me like he couldn’t believe what was happening. But it was happening. I couldn’t do it. No more. I couldn’t take him back, not after this.

“I can see you are upset, so I will back off and give you some space, but we will talk about this tomorrow.”

As far as I was concerned, there was nothing else to discuss.

Quietly, Mark put back on his shoes. On his way out of the bedroom, he leaned over to kiss me, but I turned away and looked out the window, my bottom lip trembling. Mark finally left without another word. The moment I saw him walking down the driveway toward his vehicle and chirping his car fob, I collapsed in a chair, sobbing.

I’d allowed him back into my life only to have him shatter my heart once again.

* * *

I held up my hand, signaling for the bartender. “Give me another and make it a double.”

“Man, at that rate, I’m going to need to call you a cab,” Chris said, leaning back on his barstool, casting me that familiar side-eye.

I didn’t bother responding. I wasn’t in the mood for commentary, but Joshua had been my boy forever, and if anyone could see through my silence, it was him. He took another swig of his beer, his eyes never leaving the screen, but I knew he was clocking me.

“We’ve been here for over an hour, and you still haven’t told me what’s bothering you,” he said, his voice carrying that hint of curiosity he was known for. He might usually be a joker, but Joshua could be serious when needed.

The bartender slid the drink in front of me, and I raised the glass to my lips, stalling. “Who says anything’s bothering me?”

---