Page 75 of Essence of his Soul

Her heart skipped a beat. The casual way he said it, laced with a weight she couldn’t ignore, made her want to kiss him right then and there. Was he flirting with her?

Nope.

She wasn’t going there. Diamere wasn’t checking for her like that. He never had, and he never would. “It’s always nice to have friends around,” she said lightly, even though her heart was pounding. But deep down, she couldn’t shake the thought—what if?

Chapter 20

“We’re ready to head into the family room,” Mr. Saunders called out, his voice full of energy, like the Christmas spirit had taken over the house completely. I saw the excitement lighting up everyone’s faces as they got up, ready for whatever tradition was about to unfold.

With that playful glint in his eye, Mark reached for my hand. “Come on,” he said, his grip warm and comforting.

I laced my fingers with his, feeling that familiar spark. “Where are we going?” I asked, a little curious, maybe a little nervous. Being around his family had been great so far, but I still felt like the new girl in the room, trying to fit into a picture that had already been painted.

Mark shot me a smile. “It’s time for our traditional karaoke Christmas.”

“Karaoke?” I gaped, feeling the color rise in my cheeks. Singing in front of a room full of people was not in my comfort zone.

“Yep,” he said, grinning like this was going to be fun. “And I can’t wait to hear you sing.”

I shook my head, a smile playing on my lips despite myself. He always had a way of making things sound better than they were. We moved into the room, where rows of folding chairs were lined up like we were about to watch a movie on the big screen TV.

His parents stood at the front of the room, looking like they’d done this a million times. The couple kicked things off without missing a beat with BeBe & CeCe Winans' “The First Noel.” The way they sang together, looking at each other like they were theonly two people in the room, made me smile. You could feel the love between them, and it set the mood just right.

Next, it was Calaine’s husband’s turn, and damn, did he surprise me. David was attractive, sure, but the man couldsing. When he hit those notes on Boyz II Men’s rendition of “Let it Snow,” it felt like the whole room held its breath. The emotion in his voice—it vibrated right through me, making my heart swell. Before I knew it, I had tears welling up in my eyes.

Mark leaned in close, his breath warm against my ear. “You wanna try it?” he asked, his voice soft but teasing.

I shook my head, quickly wiping away a stray tear. “No way,” I said, laughing a little at the thought. “I’m not about to embarrass myself in front of your whole family.”

“It’s all in fun,” he said, nudging me lightly. “Half the people here, including me, can’t even carry a tune.”

“I’ll pass,” I insisted.

Mark just grinned. “Suit yourself,” he said before getting up from the sofa. I watched, wide-eyed, as he strolled up to the front like he had no fear. His cousin Dana handed him the microphone, and I had to cover my mouth to hide my laughter.

I couldn’t believe he was actually going to do this. A few family members cheered him on as he picked his song, whispering to Dana before she selected the song.

When the music started, I instantly recognized the tune. Mark cleared his throat, gave me a look that made my heart skip, and then started singing CeeLo’s rendition of “Mary, Did You Know?” And let me tell you…, Mark lied! That man could sing. His voice was smooth, deep, and full of emotion, wrapping around me like a warm blanket. His eyes never left mine as he sang, and I got lost in the moment. The way he looked at me, the passion in his voice, I didn’t even notice the tear slipping down my face until it landed on my chin. When he finished, the room erupted in applause. I was focused on Mark as he walkedback to me, his gaze locked on mine. Without a word, he leaned down and kissed me. His family started catcalling, and I heard a chorus of “oohs” and “aahs,” but I didn’t care. In that moment, it felt like it was just me and him.

On the drive home, Tyler was knocked out in his car seat, the day’s excitement finally catching up. I slid over, resting my head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine. “I had a wonderful time with your family,” I said softly, letting the day's contentment settle over me. Mark glanced down at me, his hand resting on my thigh. “I’m glad,” he said, his voice full of sincerity. “They really like you.”

Later that night, Mark and I slipped into our pajamas and crawled into bed. We didn’t need much, just the comfort of being close, of winding down after a day filled with love, family, and a little bit of karaoke. We turned on a movie, but I wasn’t watching the screen. I was too wrapped up in the feeling of being next to him, of knowing that today had been one of those days I wanted to hold onto forever. Halfway through the movie, Mark pulled me snugly in his arms and kissed me so deeply my body responded instantly. What choice did I have? My mind was consumed by him. My body craved him. Already, my stomach clenched in response to his kiss. Mark rolled me over onto my back. There was no need for foreplay. Mark unbuttoned the fly of his pajama bottom and rolled on protection. He then parted my thighs and entered me in one fluid motion. I met each of his powerful thrusts as he pumped his body into mine. As I felt myself on the verge of exploding, Mark commanded me to wrap my legs firmly around his waist, and I held on as the motion increased. Moments later, an orgasm ripped through my body. Mark pushed harder and deeper, and his body tensed, and he convulsed and collapsed on top of me, sighing with satisfaction.

We lay there in silence, tangled up in each other, still tryingto catch our breath. The room had this warm, soft glow, and the air between us was thick, but in a good way—like we’d said, all we needed to say without even opening our mouths.

Mark’s hand traced up and down my back, slow and steady, sending chills through me. His touch always calmed me, like he knew exactly how to ease all the chaos running through my mind. I couldn’t help but wonder how he did it—how he simultaneously made me feel beautiful yet vulnerable. When we were like this, wrapped up in each other, I felt like we could handle anything life threw at us.Together.

But even in this quiet, with Mark right next to me, there was a heavy truth in my chest that I hadn’t spoken out loud yet. I loved him. And that scared the hell out of me. Not just the fact that I was in love again but that I wasn’t sure if he could love me back in the way Ineededhim to.

I wanted to say something, to tell him what I was feeling. The words were right there, sitting on the edge of my lips, but I couldn’t bring myself to let them out. Not yet. I was too scared. I’d spent so long building these walls around my heart, trying to protect myself from getting hurt again. But the truth was, I couldn’t keep denying what was real. I was tired of fighting it, tired of pushing him away.

I knew that the next time he asked me to marry him—and I knew it was coming—I wouldn’t be able to say no. Not this time. My heart wasn’t in the fight anymore. I loved him, plain and simple. I couldn’t picture my life without him. But still, the nagging thought wouldn’t let go. Was he doing all this just because of Tyler? Was he only here because he wanted to keep his son close?

I’d risked my heart since Mark walked back into my life. Every time he looked at me with those intense, golden eyes, every time his touch made me feel like I was the only woman in the world, my walls started crumbling. I wished, some days,that I didn’t love him. Maybe it would have hurt less if I hadn’t felt so much. But it was too late. I was already in too deep. My heart belonged to him, whether he knew it or not. And when he asked me to marry him again, I’d be ready to say yes, not just for Tyler and the life we could build, but because I wantedus. With everything I had, I just wished that he loved me too.

* * *

Diamere leaned back in his seat, watching Kelly’s face as she turned toward him, her soft voice breaking the quiet.

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