Page 26 of Essence of his Soul

Joshua leaned in, his gray eyes gleaming with curiosity. “How’s it feel being back?”

“Different,” I admitted, glancing around the bar. The placehad that mix of old brick and modern steel, with screens flashing the latest game highlights. “Good, but different.”

Chris grinned. “Different as in you’ve outgrown this place, or different as in trying to figure out why you ever left?”

I paused, letting the weight of what I was about to say settle. “It’s good to be home and see my family, but this time, things feel different. Pops is getting older. I put in for a duty station closer to home. There’s more—something I need to talk to y’all about. Could use some advice.”

Chris exchanged a glance with Joshua, then nodded. “Shoot, what’s on your mind?”

“Man, I’ve been thinking a lot about things,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Female problems?” Joshua asked with a knowing smirk.

“Yeah, you could say that.” I waited until my drink arrived, took a sip, and then dove into the details of my situation with Essence and Tyler. “Essence… she’s got my son, and I want to do right by them.”

Chris raised an eyebrow, his expression serious. “You thinking about marrying her?”

“I am,” I nodded. “But it’s complicated. She won’t marry without love, and I’m not sure I can give her that. Never really believed in it, but I believe in taking care of my responsibilities.”

“You used to believe in it before that psycho, Carmen,” Chris said, scratching his chin.

“I was young and dumb back then,” I admitted.

Joshua snorted. “Don’t beat yourself up, man. We all were back then. But love’s a joke. Do you know how many marriages end in divorce? Why tie yourself down? You can be a good father without signing your life away.”

“Mark, don’t listen to this clown,” Chris cut in, shooting Joshua a glare. “The last thing you need is advice from someone with a new woman in his bed every week.”

Joshua just shrugged, looking proud of his bachelor lifestyle.

Chris turned back to me, his expression thoughtful. “Love isn’t always an emotion from the start, Mark. Sometimes, it grows into commitment from the everyday things you do for each other. If you show her you’re dedicated, that might help bridge the gap.”

Joshua shook his head, smirking. “Or maybe you’re better off staying single. Less complicated.”

“And end up dying alone like this fool,” Chris shot back, sitting down his beer. “Do you care about this woman? Would you still want to be with her if she didn't have your son?”

I thought about it, the past two years flashing through my mind. “I haven’t stopped thinking about her since we met, long before I knew about Tyler. The attraction’s stronger now than ever. Things would've been different if I’d known about my son earlier. I would’ve been there for her… with her. Absolutely.”

Joshua groaned. “Bruh, no! Not you, too.”

“That’s a good sign,” Chris said, looking pleased. “Marriage isn’t just love and responsibility. It’s also about commitment. If Essence wants love, maybe it’s worth figuring out what that means for you. It doesn’t have to be some fairy-tale thing. It can be as simple as showing up every day, being there for her and your son.”

“I hear you,” I said, staring into my glass. “But what if I can’t give her that? What if I don’t have it in me?”

“Then you need to be honest with her—and yourself,” Chris replied. “But don’t throw it away just because you’re scared. You’re already halfway there. The fact that you care enough to think about it counts for something.”

Joshua chuckled. “Or you could keep things the way they are. Stay free, and keep your options open. Ain’t nothing wrong with being single and handling your business.”

I sighed, feeling the weight of their words. “Guess I’ve gotsome thinking to do.”

“Whatever you decide, we’re here,” Chris said, clapping me on the shoulder. “But don’t wait too long. Life’s short, bruh.”

“True,” I muttered, glancing at the football game on the screen, but my mind was still on Essence and the future I wasn’t sure how to navigate.

Chris studied me for a moment. “You’ve always been reliable, Mark. Show her that your commitment is your way of loving her. Actions speak louder than words.”

Joshua nodded, though he still looked skeptical. “Just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Don’t force something that doesn’t feel natural.”

“Josh, the word ‘relationship’ sounds unnatural to you,” Chris joked. I couldn’t help but laugh with him.

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