Page 8 of Essence of his Soul

Tyler yawned, his little fist rubbing his eyes in that sleepy, innocent way that made me want to scoop him up and never let go. Slowly, I reached out, my hand trembling just a little, needed to touch him to make sure he was real. And then, without hesitation, Tyler grabbed my finger, his tiny hand gripping me like he knew who I was. At that moment, I was done. My heart caved, and I fell in love.

Essence didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to. The look on her face told me she had been waiting for this moment, for me to see what I had missed. As I stood there, my finger locked in my son’s grip, I knew nothing in my life would ever be the same.

Mark looked so nervous that it was almost cute. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, totally thrown by how he was handlingthis moment. I’d expected many things from him, but seeing him like this wasn’t one of them. For goodness’ sake, this man was an officer in the United States Army! Soldiers were trained to be tough and face fear head-on, but he was hesitant, standing before his son like he was stepping into the unknown. It touched me in ways I hadn’t anticipated.

“He’s handsome,” Mark finally said, his voice soft as his eyes stayed glued to Tyler.

“Yeah, he is,” I agreed, watching him gently trace a finger along Tyler’s tiny arm. My baby stared at his father like he knew who he was.

“Just like his father.”

Mark’s eyes flicked up to meet mine, and in that moment, we shared something words couldn’t touch. It was like a silent acknowledgment of everything that had happened between us and everything that was still ahead.

“We did this,” he whispered, and I could feel my heart swell a little more.

“You want to hold him?” I asked, my voice softer than I intended, the vulnerability at the moment sneaking up on me.

The corner of Mark’s mouth twitched into a smile. “You know I do.”

As Mark held out his arms, Tyler leaned over with his tiny hands reaching out, and I couldn’t help but gasp. Tyler had never gone to anyone so quickly before.

Mark scooped him up, cradling him close, and I just stood there, watching. Watching as my son stared up at his father, and his father stared right back, completely mesmerized. It was like Tyler knew who this man was to him, who we were. His parents.

“He’s perfect,” Mark murmured, leaning down to press a kiss on top of Tyler’s head. “From his curly hair to his little toes.”

“Yes,” I nodded, feeling that familiar tug in my chest. “He’s my whole world.” Tyler could have had nine fingers or twoheads, and I’d still love him with everything I had.

Tyler started to get fussy, squirming in Mark’s arms, a tiny whimper escaping his lips. He leaned back toward me, reaching out for his mama. I could tell Mark wasn’t ready to let him go, but he handed him over, their moment ending. As he passed Tyler back, our fingers brushed—just a light touch—but the heat that shot through me was instant. I knew Mark felt it, too; the way my breath caught didn’t go unnoticed. When I glanced up, he looked at me with the same intensity he had for our son.

“I’m gonna be in my son’s life,” Mark said, his voice low, but its firmness was undeniable. “Do you have any objections?”

His nearness, the fire in his eyes, had me stumbling over my words. “Do you have any objections?”

I barely managed to get out, “I’ll get used to it.”

Mark nodded, his hand gently stroking the top of Tyler’s head. “I can’t believe how much he looks like me,” he said, almost in awe.

“I guess you don’t need a blood test,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood before things got too heavy.

Mark raised an eyebrow, giving me that look. “Hell no. This is my son,” he said, his tone firm, no hesitation. “Or do I have a reason to think otherwise?”

I quickly shook my head. “No, of course not.”

Mark’s hand slid under my chin, lifting my face to meet his gaze again. His eyes held mine for a beat before he murmured, “Good answer.”

And just like that, he leaned in, pressing a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth. It was like time stood still. My breath hitched, my heart pounded, and all the air seemed to evaporate from the room. He didn’t push, didn’t try to make it more than what it was, but that kiss carried weight—memories, unsaid words, unresolved feelings. All of it flooded back in that instant. The kiss wasn’t demanding but lingered, filled with somethingdeeper. Something that had never really gone away. What was it about him that made me weak when he touched me? Mark then changed the tempo of the kiss, devouring my mouth like a thirsty man taking his first drink of water after being denied for days. I gripped the crib rail because my knees threatened to give out. I tried to retreat, but Mark wrapped his arms around me and our son and held tight. Tyler fussed, then reached up and touched my face. The instant I felt his small hand, I pulled back slightly, feeling Mark’s warm breath still lingering on my skin. The space between us was charged, electric, but I couldn’t let myself fall into it. Not again.

“Mark...” I started, trying to sound firm, but the way my voice wavered gave me away. I had to look away, focus on Tyler in my arms, anything to break the tension growing between us. “This is about our son, not us.”

“I know,” he said quietly, his voice calm, but I could hear the pull in it, like he was still holding on to something more. “But don’t act like there’s nothing still between us, Essence. That kiss didn’t come from nowhere.”

I swallowed hard, shifting Tyler in my arms to distract myself. I looked at the adorable grin on his face, smiled, and squeezed his little fingers before allowing my gaze to shift back to Mark. There was something in his gaze that scattered my thoughts and induced an instant fluttering sensation that reached everything within me. Being around him was going to be the challenge of my life.Keep your distance, a lethal voice in my head whispered. Yes, I had to be smarter and make wiser decisions. I didn’t mean to let him kiss me, but curiosity had taken over. I had wondered if I would have the same gut-level reaction if he kissed me again.

And I had.

“A kiss doesn’t change the fact that two years went by, Mark.”

“I know,” he said again, more firmly this time. “And nowI’m not going anywhere,” he added, stepping closer. His hand reached Tyler’s head again, stroking those soft curls with a tenderness that melted and scared me. “I’m going to be here. For him and for you.”

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