Page 5 of Essence of his Soul

“I need to know why?” I asked, the words sharp as they left my mouth.

Essence stiffened, the warmth from earlier fading. “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”

We did. But until I get the truth, we’re gonna keep having it,” I shot back, my patience wearing thin, frustration bubbling over.

She let out a sigh, long and heavy. “I told you, Mark. I called. I sent three letters. You never responded to a single one.”

I am a military intelligence officer. When I left Delaware, I hopped on a military aircraft for a top-secret mission where they don’t play—no personal cell phones allowed. “Then you should have contacted my unit.”

Essence crossed her arms, her jaw tightening like she was bracing herself for battle. “Just pick up the phone, call your unit, and what? Have them patch me—a four-week fling—through to you? You weren’t exactly reachable, Mark.”

Her words hit me like a slap, but I wasn’t backing down. “Ideservedto know about my son.”

She stepped closer, eyes blazing with the fire I remembered all too well. “You think I didn’t try? You were off doing your thing, living your life, and I was here, trying to figure out mine. I called you. No answer. I sent those letters. No response. I waited for weeks. Nothing. So, yeah, I stopped trying. I had to think about my son.”

Her voice softened when she said, "My son," and something in my chest tightened. Tyler wasn’t justherson. He wasours, and the fact that I had missed the beginning of his life, the chance to hold and watch him grow, tore me up inside.

“You could’ve tried harder,” I muttered, the anger simmering under my skin.

Essence’s lips pressed into a thin line, her patience clearly wearing thin. “Tried harder? I was pregnant and confused, Mark. I didn’t have time to sit around waiting for you to return. I had to survive, to prepare for a child without knowing what the hell was going on with you.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck. She wasn’t wrong. While I was halfway across the world, serving our country, Essence had been fighting hers alone. And now, I had the nerve to be angry? The frustration I felt toward her started totwist into something else, something heavier.

She shook her head, her voice dropping. “Do you think I wanted it to be this way? Do you think I enjoyed keeping that secret, carrying that weight? You weren’t here, Mark. You walked out of my life.”

* * *

I wanted you to contact me because you missed me, not because I was pregnant.

Of course, there was no way I would say that, so instead, I met his gaze with quiet defiance.

“Essence, I asked you a question,” Mark’s voice was deep and commanding, like he was trying to pull rank. “Regardless of the circumstances, you should have told me.”

The nerve of him, coming in here with that energy like he had any right to demand answers after all this time. I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my cool, but the audacity was getting to me.

“If I remember correctly, you made it crystal clear you weren’t looking for any type of commitment.”

“Commitment?”he repeated, his voice rising like he couldn’t believe what I was saying. “We’re not talking about a commitment, Essence. We’re talking about my son!”

“Can you lower your voice before you wake him?” I hissed, my patience hanging by a thread.

“Where is he?” Mark’s voice dropped to a whisper, his eyes darting past me like he could somehow see Tyler if he looked hard enough.

“He’s asleep,” I said, a mix of pride and warning in my voice.

His eyes locked on mine again, and even though I tried to play it cool, I felt my heart skip a beat. “I want to see him,” he said, his voice raw with a kind of vulnerability I wasn’t expecting.

“He spent the day with my parents—they took him to see Santa at the mall.” I couldn’t help but smile, remembering howcute Tyler had looked in his little holiday outfit. “He’s probably down for the night. Why don’t you come back tomorrow?”

But Mark was always stubborn, and I could see it in his eyes now. “Nah, not happening. I’ll wait,” he said, dropping down on my sofa. Arms crossed, his posture screamed he had no plans to move. I sighed to myself. As much as I wanted him out of my space, a tiny part of me couldn’t help but feel something warm seeing him care this much.

“What did you tell your parents?” he asked suddenly, tension creeping into his voice.

I blinked, thrown off by the change in subject. “About what?”

“About Tyler’s father,” he ground out like the words left a bad taste in his mouth.

I shrugged, playing it cool even though his questions started unraveling my nerves. “I told them what they needed to know. I’m grown, or did you forget that?”

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